General

I thought heartache is just a song
I thought heartache is just an illusion
But now I understand
It exist..

There is this pain and tingling sensation
In the center of your chest
It feels funny and hurt
At the same time

I know the problem is myself
Its in me inside me
I want to be loved so bad
Thats why Im giving my love purely
But im ended wounded

I do often wonder if I’d want to live if they would go away, impossible to tell I suppose.

I so sincerely regret not dying six years ago. No matter how I’ve felt or what I’ve done in the past six years, there’s not a single day where if I was offered a pill to instantly and painlessly do the deed, I wouldn’t have accepted it.

My only question is if I’ll still be saying this six years from now. I surely hope not.

its 1am and im just. really fucking struggling. i have two weeks left until my first semester of college is over and i want it to be done now. i was home for thanksgiving and have to get up in 5 hours to catch a train back to school but id literally rather die. i feel like i have nothing and no one to live for; my future feels bleak and everyone around me would surely be better off eventually if i were gone. im so fucking miserable all i wanna do is lay in bed and cry and self harm and listen to music, […]

I am sorry.

I am sorry that I am a burden.

I am sorry for all the problems I cause.

I am sorry for not being what everyone thinks I am.

I am sorry that I can’t be happy.

I am sorry for everything I did.

I am sorry for everyone that I hurted.

I am sorry for everyone that I will hurt.

And I am sorry that I will not be present when you‘ll need me.

I can only hope there’s some version of me out there who wasn’t taken from her dad when she was 2. Didn’t grow up always wanting to go home even when she was there. Wasn’t raped in 5th grade and been praying for death since 8th. She didn’t go on to destroy every relationship she’s ever been in. She’s still married now with a daughter named Belle, because she actually met her prince charming young and healthy. God listens to her prayers but she doesn’t go to church much because her life is happy.

I’ll just sit here crying endlessly hoping there’s at least one happy […]

i want to take another walk to the bridge…..

Did you ever notice how there is never a right time to take your life? There’s always a family occasion, celebration or anniversary, and now with Christmas just around the corner the timing for my suicide couldn’t be worse. I don’t think I can hang on until January. Christmas brings out the worst in suicidal people, it highlights the abnormality of your life compared to the normality of everybody else. One thing I refuse to be is the guy who took his life without giving his family adequate warning. I’ve actually asked for my family’s permission to end my life so there will be no […]

Why wont he say im a problem. I know i am. Im not stupid. I tried to jump off a bridge to think im not a problem would be stupid. Please just say it and ill be gone.

I feel like im dying. I feel like offing myself.

Quit gobbling at me all the time, humans.

I wish I lived in a world where humans were not the dominant species on the planet, and had to hide in little enclaves, consumed by the daily tasks of survival, rather than scheming and pantomiming their garbage mass-produced culture. I don’t give two bits of excrement what sports are on TV right now. Give me my beer and stow it.

i failed. i failed my suicide attempt. no i do not regret attempting. i regret not being more strategical so i would have died. after 5 weeks spent in the psych ward and majority of my friends gone, im lost. i feel lost and empty

There’s no hope.

There’s no dream.

Everything I do, is useless.

Every hope I have, is false.

Just f*ck you life.

I am done with it.

Just let me go..

It is at times like this
When every word you say
Brings me closer to the end
Every change in your voice
Draws the knife closer to my neck
I wonder if its just criticism that I can’t take
If I am that weak
Or is it something else?
The fear of disappointment
The wish to seem perfect in your eyes
I know I am imperfect
But I just want to pretend for you
Yet it seems like every step I take
I don’t move forward.
Instead I take three steps back

the more and more i do this helping thing the more and more i want to go into hiding and never return

I don’t know what to do, I don’t have friends to talk to about this shit cuz of course my friends are friends with my boyfriend but I feel like our relationship is coming to an end and I’m wishing so much it isn’t but I know it is and when it’s finally over I’m gonna fall apart. I honestly just want something to happen to make it end easier but I know it’s not and it’s going to be painful but literally we can’t spend more than half a day with each other without one of us getting annoyed at the other and I […]

So, I have been on here multiple times before. I started this account when I was 14, I think. What most of my friends in my real life don’t know about me is my struggle with myself. Sometimes it’s hard to explain to people that you hate yourself, physically and mentally. If they aren’t going through the same struggle that you are, it’s hard for them to understand why or how someone would feel this way. So, this is my only real outlet. Sometimes just looking at the comments of other people trying to lift me up makes it easier to get through the day […]