General

Not really suicide related

The other day me and my boyfriend thought that we would take our laptops with us in the car. Mine was in a backpack, which also contained my passport. And some asshole broke into the vehicle and stole the backpack. So now I’m out a nice laptop and a passport. And I’ll have to get a new passport, at the very least an emergency one. Well I hope they’ll let me get that kind :/

Of course, I bet nothing will happen to the ones who stole my stuff.

This isn’t fair at all. Literally the only thing stolen was the backpack […]

suddenly, I admit – this type of attraction nobody shared to me.
and that within a scene being torn by coldness, lies and theft.
It would teased me to watch as he would die, but wouldn’t.
I could be more of just voyeur, I could abuse that kind.
Receiving his way empathy is such a madness. I hate to have thoughts that I’d like to recieve. I have no problems attracting him or had made him survive, but I have one being very first time accepting to have got one infatuated to me.

And to break his will with my wish to die is almost like […]

I felt long like this exemplar of human. As if the queried urge of someone made you each and appear where you are – but the wish just made you appear but does not mention how it does change.

I, might be 14, dissatisfied and without engagement made myself through the day with no felt struggle. There were a lot to many ones view striking on to me. They became all inflationary and meaningless, even making the double of ten times the amount was not much of an challenge or performance to me. It just not got into the desires, wishes and obligations which were meant […]

My life looks so depressing at this moment. You know, if feels almost like AN insult to accept this situation and live things just normal. It probably will pass soon or later. And the fact that I used my last Money to buy a bottle of cheap alcoholic beverage makes things even more depressing. But, what can I do about that? Its not a crime to drink, and it was my Money, so thats nobody’s business. Except for, my sister is kind of a n alcoholic, and she already went through some really tough shit, with doctors, and ambulances, and institutions, that kind of a […]

The human will is an interesting thing…I can understand intellectually that something is twisted, messed up, evil, harmful, dangerous, unwise…and yet still feel a deep longing to do it.

Which doesn’t mean I will. Obviously I also have significant survival impulses deterring me from more destructive courses of action.

But knowing I’m not going to act on a desire doesn’t make it go away. Instead it just torments me all the more. The longer you deny an urge, the larger it becomes in your psyche.

The question then arises…how do I stop wanting this thing that cannot be acted upon, that is causing me pain? To which there […]

i want to save my child from a shitty life and just end it. i already know i’m shitty mom as i am bipolar as fuck and i can’t control being angry. i feel selfish as fuck leaving him in this cruel world but i just can’t do this anymore.

not gonna lie i just wanna end my life

I feel like the end is coming next week.
I don’t like the way l feel.

I’m gonna die. By my own hands mostly. I don’t want to be 22. He’s gone so every plans there is is out of the window. Ah. Life had been nice but I dont want to do it anymore.

I’m lost. I’m totally lost. I’m still stuck in the darkness. I have no idea where I am or how to fight or how to get the hell out of here.

I don’t like feeling trapped in this place. I don’t like the darkness I can’t ever get out of.

It’s hard to breath. I can’t breath.

I don’t feel like I’m okay, like I’m going to be okay…

Now placing in stepping the floor crumbles in front of me, but I can’t see where or how far the hole is. Even my darkness is falling to pieces.

I keep looking everywhere for the glimpse […]

“Fuck off; go fucking die; crazy kid.”

I’ve been told these things by a family member yesterday, undeservedly so.

She knows nothing about me, but it hurt, a lot.

Feeling so lonely
I would like to stop existing
I think, feel l might die soon, this year

why is it that the people i love and care for neglect me and forget me. i give all my love and it’s just ignored, as if i never existed. i know we carry on with our lives and new things happen, but if you really truly loved me and cared for me, you wouldn’t forget me totally. it hurts me when a person who meant so much to me pretends as if we where never friends.
just tell me if you can’t be bothered with me anymore. i know that i will break cause of the pain of them leaving me, but… even if […]

I need you.

You are one of the most active and supportive users I have seen on this site in a long time. Offering encouraging words, silly stories, and being a caring friend. Every time I go on the site, I see you in the comments, talking to people. And it’s never judgmental or rude. It’s sympathizing and light hearted. I’ve wanted to make this post months ago to be honest, and now I’m just even more amazed that you’re still here still actively bringing people up.

I’ve decided that I’m giving myself 8 more years and then I’m going to commit suicide if my life doesn’t get even slightly better. 8 years is such a long time, I swear I don’t deserve even half of it. But still, I’ve decided I’m going to give myself a chance, no matter if I’m worthy of it or not.

God, I forgot how good a knife edge feels….

If anyone can get this last clip of scene and maybe put it on youtube or provide a link, that would be great

my depression fixer