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I Will Survive

I did this, you can too.

Problem in Paradise

by stormy weather
written by stormy weather

I was in Hawaii with a bunch of friends. Great time – right? Too much booze, lots of laughter. Until I did something silly and one of my friends yelled at me and told me to stop being childish. I immediately shut down and went to my room – on the 29th floor. Sitting out on the balcony bawling I started seriously thinking about jumping. That would teach him, right? I sat there thinking yes, no, yes, no, yes, no. Thankfully the “no’s” won out.

I never thought too much about revenge suicide until then. Other times, other reasons. But revenge suicide is […]

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Hope…ful/less?

by Jaeline
written by Jaeline

Even when the world is cold, I still want to find the heart not to be.   -LIT (jjolee)

It’s been a while since I’ve written here, and every time I remember this place I come and reread posts that I only have as drafts, I remember how passionate I wrote them with pain and crying while at it.

Tho this time is different, and still think life is worthless and I want to die, I now don’t actively look for death, I dunno if it’s because I’ve come to terms that I’m not brave enough to commit suicide or because I’ve […]

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Geesh

by urban
written by urban

Another milestone and my heart can’t take it anymore. I cursed god for the last time and now I really have no meaning. Why live? I have no family, not like oh I just don’t want to talk to them, no they shitty people and they abandon me with my shitty mother. so they all condone child abuse and neglect. I’m tired of nobody having my back and I’m still being kind and nice sitting here smiling every day in people’s faces but who gives a fuck about me. God do like to watch people suffer and not fair.. why give someone a shitty life […]

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Please read this.

by Im begging you not to give up hope
written by Im begging you not to give up hope

Hello there, friends. I just ran across this website tonight. At first I was shocked because it seemed to be promoting suicide, but then I read the rules and realized that wasn’t the case. However, I didn’t worry any less about the people on this site. I don’t know any of you but I’m guessing I know the feelings you’re feeling. Please take a look at what I have to say.

Disclaimers

I’m going to make a few disclaimers before I start. First of all, if I accidentally say something that offends you, I apologize and recognize that your viewpoint exists. However, I don’t apologize for speaking […]

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FUCK IT – Update – Hard decision//Never Loved//Obdurance

by Thanatos.Nykthos
written by Thanatos.Nykthos

FUCK TIME TIME IS A B!TCH

 

FUCKIN RANT O’CLOCK, FUCKLES MCGEE!

GUESS WHAT?! I’m FUCKING waiting now, and I FUCKING hate it!

 

WAITING FOR THIS STUPID FUCKING SOLUTION which is GONNA MAKE MY LIFE BETTER

but FUCK WAITING OH GOD

I WAS STABLE for like A WEEK AND A HALF damnit! FUCK COPING! FUCK QUESTIONS from PROFANE PREACHERS of PALLID HATE!

HERE’s the UPDATE, because HELL YEAH that’s useful!

Part ONE:

I wanna make some FUCKIN DEMANDS, damnit!

I WANNA COFFIN, DAMNIT! and you BETTER NOT THROW AWAY ALL THE SHIT I PUT TOGETHER TO LAY THIS WHOLE MESS OUT FOR YA!

 

alright, now to the kind and well-deserving members of thesuicideproject.org, I’d like to […]

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A failed duty

by A Crestfallen Angel
written by A Crestfallen Angel

Ever heard of situations where vilains try to get rid of someone because the person they want the most attention from isn’t giving it to them but to the another. It makes them so furious because they only make time with that person and only want to talk to that person that they don’t care if they exist because that person is present.
It’s very sad to say I feel their rage.
Of course I don’t want to hurt anybody but I can’t promise I haven’t thought about it.
She gave birth to me
So why does she give a stranger more attention than […]

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Hard decision

by Thanatos.Nykthos
written by Thanatos.Nykthos

Goddamnit, I’d hate for this to just be some bum other journal for me. But- At break point, I know that need.
Tonight I make the daring leap, I do what I hate myself for, what they will never forgive truly. For they cannot love, They cannot care for anything other than their purchase ‘pon me.
They will hate and weep, plead and probe into me, but my adamantine message cannot falter. Tonight will be difficult, I fear it’s malfruition. I pray to honest God for strength, for forgiveness for the resolve of self I have lacked so long, and for grace abounding […]

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I am exhausted.

by saveria
written by saveria

Hello. I am *Saveria.
I am French and I am 15 years old. If I’m here it’s to talk and look for things that would help me die.
I’ve been through horrible things, well, I’m the one who thinks it’s horrible. I haven’t felt well since I was 12. No, I never talked about it, it’s taboo at home. I tried to get up many times. But I can not.
I’m desperate, I’m looking for help. I fell into the death spiral. I don’t want to live for many long months already. I need help.
Someone can help me ? To find a method of […]

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Homeless again

by Manny Manson
written by Manny Manson

I had a great 5 yrs till I moved back home (5 hours away) to help take care of a family member that is declining in health. My family never gets along with me I’m unsure why I felt like I needed to be the bigger person, why I felt that this will be different.
Fast foward…
Im now homeless because I ended my life to help others, I have no money cuz I was living off my savings however I manage to have a “friend” who is lending their sofa/couch till the end of the month. Idk how imma eat, how imma get my […]

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I ‘made it’. Maybe you will too?

by kinziek
written by kinziek

On a whim I decided to see if suicideproject was still around, and to see if I could log in. My posts were from 2015.

Wow, was I in a bad place. I remember the event in particular that prompted me to start cutting again, and to spiral into one of the lowest points of my life. Thank you to the commenters on those posts. Wherever you are now, I hope you found what you are looking for.

I wanted to write some kind of denouement here, because I am certainly glad I didn’t do it back then. I know reading some inspo stuff isn’t going to […]

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I’m 40 years old this year, and I still don’t know what to do, and whether I should continue to live, or just die?

by niki
written by niki

Long story short, my life is a complete failure. It’s full of wrong decisions, (in)actions, regrets, mistakes after mistakes, that I honestly think maybe it’s already too late to “fix everything” (eg: I’m losing all the good chances/opportunities, as I’m getting old now). It’s really ironic & tragic, because a lot of people always say that I’m very talented especially in music (I used to be quite an active musician & composer/songwriter, but sadly I’m still not famous & successful), smart, a deep thinker, a highly sensitive person, etc etc.

I am also an idealist, meaning that I actually have a BIG vision & idea for […]

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Illusion of happiness

by destined to lose
written by destined to lose

Happiness or pleasure is like any other addictive substance..

It gives you a high and then when you don’t have it you can’t live without it.. Now all you want is a little bit more of it..

Then you promise yourself that you will stay happy no matter what… Whatever may happen the worst of the worst but you still believe that someday everything will be perfect as you have always wanted and prayed for…

And that day hopefully you can feel something inside of you… Don’t know what it is but all I hope is it’s not happiness.. The illusion of happiness

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I want it to be over

by canadiantragedy
written by canadiantragedy 4 read

Im a 22 year old guy whos incredibly lonlely. I’ve somewhat lost my mother to a terminal illness that caused my dad to leave when i was 14. None the less ive had a few relationships in between but one of them ended up cheating on me and the other was a cocaine addict. None the less i am sad,, alone and want to kill myself. Ive been suicidal for years and years but couldn’t leave my mom like my dad did. Now that her illness is closing in on her and things are getting shorter, i feel less of an obligation to […]

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Exhausting

by locy_1
written by locy_1

Utterly annoyed with life. I can not even talk to my spouse about any coping mechanism I use as to not yell or scream or hit…. without him getting triggered and abusive. I can not live like this anymore.

I want to run. Run until I can find an end. Run away over the streets, the cars, the houses… run away from everything and everyone. I will run. I will live. I will not give into any death call or abuse. I will survive!

But, until I can run I will stay here taking care of my little one. making her life better and get her away […]

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To Be Happy

by locy_1
written by locy_1

I am so frustrated with life. I can not help the urge to end it all. I barley sleep. I only eat because I have to raise my 21 month old ensuring she is healthy to have a happier life than me…  Every night I want to get up out of my bed, grab a knife, and stab myself… but I can not. I have to many obligations to this world that I put on myself. I hate it here. I really want to leave. I want life to be easier. Even if I didn’t have all these things going on in my life, I […]

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Courage 2 (quit/proceed)

by mortalcode
written by mortalcode 2-3 min read

Ever let the anxiety sink ,the rage boil up
Ferment the pain, and bottle it up
Reflecting on the past like it ain’t slow enough
Mom’s always sad that I ain’t growing up
Pills help me cope but I’m still fucking up
Fuck going outside, the moon aint show enough
I laugh about death like I ain’t dark enough?
Friends ran away? I guess they stalked enough?
Fam patient with my death like who’s taking what?
keep a sharp angle, latitudes of my cuts
Force you to be strong like you ain’t had enough
have the nerve to ask what’s wrong…
God ain’t fucking […]

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I wish, I wish upon a star

by bleedingheart
written by bleedingheart

I just wish my mom would try to understand my emotional pain. I wish she would support me emotionally. I wish she would tell me she loves me. I wish she wouldn’t put me down. I wish she wouldn’t judge me. I wish she could see the hurt she causes me. I wish I could hate her. I wish and wish and wish for the impossible when it comes to her. I know full well she isn’t the type of person I wish she could be. I know she doesn’t do it on purpose, it’s more like she’s blunt and doesn’t have a filter when […]

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Just a random post

by freakinLadybird
written by freakinLadybird 3 mins read

This is my first post. Everything is quite disorganize and I don’t know how to present my thoughts appropriately + being intoxicated with Vodka. I apologize to all readers in advance. Really, I am sorry.

 

So…I am a 20ish person trying to get into a graduate program. Since the program is research related, I am in the process of writing a proposal to get into a master program.  Wrote the first draft… well that turned out as a disaster. Was told that it was too undergraduate quality. I knew I was never the smart enough for academic stuff. Even stayed behind for a year during high […]

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read this if you’re struggling.

by zy
written by zy

     I was procrastinating on my homework when I came across this website. I’m writing this all off the top of my head so just stand by. So I read so many peoples stories on here and noticed one thing, everyone on here is going through the SAME THING. I myself often have bad mental health and breakdowns, but you know what? nobody is perfect. AND DON’T SKIP, I know everyone uses this as a pity sentence but just spend a minute of your life reading this because you need to open your eyes. Think to yourself, do you think there is a single […]

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