Category:

Rants

What to do? Death?

by lxmyrick 1/3/2017

written by lxmyrick

Hey SP,

I post rarely, but when I do, it is normally impotent to me. I understand if no one once to hear me, I’m used to it, but if you read this, please help.

So I doing a bunch of midterm, and I don’t give a fuck. There are so many things that are learned in school that is a waste of time. For example, foreign language even though today’s modern day uses technology. Also I am not a dummy, but I’m not a genius, but everyone wants me be a straight A student. I have a few choices in life, but not enough to control […]

1/3/2017 2 comments

The only thing keeping me alive is that I’m ironically afraid of dying

by graveyardbee 1/3/2017

written by graveyardbee

No one will probably read this but I’d like to pretend they will because I can’t tell anyone I know.

I’m almost 17 years old and I’ve had general anxiety since the day I was born, and severe clinical depression since I was 7. In the last two years, my life has hit 20,000 leagues under the sea. My depression has gotten worse and worse and I’ve tried so many different medications and none work, which doesn’t help ease the ache of what’s been happening. December 17, 2013 I started dating one of my best friends, and I was head over heels in love. I was […]

1/3/2017 10 comments

I’m a coward

by beautifulsinner 12/31/2016

written by beautifulsinner

im a coward. one big coward with daddy issues. to him, it seems like my problems are far from real, and that they’re just in my head. that if i just “thought” about being happy, i would be. newsflash, depression doesn’t work like that. i cant just turn my suicidal thoughts off. believe me, i would if i could. but i cant, and thats why im sitting here in the psych ward hating myself and wondering why im still alive. id be happy if it was that easy.

but instead, the doctors are trying to get me to talk to my father about my feelings. but […]

12/31/2016 8 comments

Sick

by beautifulsinner 12/30/2016

written by beautifulsinner

sick and tired. thats what i am. stupid me for breaking down at school and telling the school guidance counsellor about my plans to kill myself. right back to the psych ward is where she took me. i cant believe i cracked, i wish i didnt. now im here against my will for who knows how long. im so angry. so angry and tired of people making my hospitalisation for wanting to kill myself about them. “dont you think about your impact” yes, of course i do. but do i care? i dont. im so numb and sick of people telling me it gets better […]

12/30/2016 3 comments

2016 the eye-opening year

by Ariayanna1994 12/29/2016

written by Ariayanna1994

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The beginning of 2016 was when I got myself together and had my three beautiful children full time I was working as well. I shelters many people family or not and fed the mouth of people who talked bad upon me. I’ve never been the perfect mom sister daughter but I always made sure everyone was good and taking care. October of 2016 was when I experimented with a certain drug. No the drug did not ruin my life but it changed me as a person. […]

12/29/2016 2 comments

Once again, a broken heart.

by Elliot97 12/29/2016

written by Elliot97

It seems every attempt at love is just another masked use of my time and remaining emotion. First time my heart was broken I failed my ALevels, UUUU in all my subjects and now 3 years down the line, living with whom I thought was the one does the same. I don’t want to live like this anymore, even in a relationship you become lonely. I actually hate myself for thinking people have the ability to change or be different, sort of explains why I can’t change to being happy. Only took for 2 years to admit dishonestly and unloyalty, 2 years. I’ve reached the […]

12/29/2016 0 comment

Incomplete

by TheRoadSoFar 12/29/2016

written by TheRoadSoFar

I never thought I would be back here. Not that I don’t like being here, it’s just that apparently I didn’t need to be here for 3 months. Or maybe I just forgot I could be here; I feel like home here. Aaaanyways…

After what I thought would be the worst semester in high school, my only 2 true friends are back (at least the only friends that don’t get sick of me or look at me as an option to pick from the bunch). And yes, I was right, that last semester was the worst. Ever. Although it wasn’t as bad a I had imagined […]

12/29/2016 2 comments

Here goes…

by kin3d 12/28/2016

written by kin3d

Just stumbled across this site when I was doing a Google search on exit bags. Yep, I was researching methods. Again. Or procrastinating, you might say. So anyway, I started reading all this stuff people have posted here – angry rants, sad stories, horrible memories and experiences, feelings of failing friends and family, loss, guilt, physical pain, pragmatic descriptions and flowery prose. And now I seem to have worked up a need to write or share or whatever, as opposed to lying in bed staring at the ceiling contemplating my imminent demise, whether it would be a good idea to wear diapers when I hang […]

12/28/2016 3 comments

Death in the family

by Epistemologist2.0 12/26/2016

written by Epistemologist2.0

Hello everyone! I am a father (non-custodial parent) of 2 boys. For the past 8 years I’ve spent fighting I. Family court to advocate for my equal parental rights, as to ensure my bond with my children….Long story short…I lost. The mother proved to be to manipulative. Its funny because the more I fought to be in my children’s life, the more she fought to keep me away. There is really no way I can at this point, classify her as a human being. I’ve had countless, never ending, suicidal/homicidal ideations and the emotional Pain I feel is beyond this world!! To describe my pain […]

12/26/2016 4 comments

Still here

by my heaven is your hell 12/26/2016

written by my heaven is your hell

I am still here.Same old me,same old sadness that takes away every atom of my energy,same old mind that tells me i am worthless ,same old mirror that shows me all my flaws .Scale still defines me ,every bite tastes like misery cos it screams :”FAT!” . I am still here and i have no f clue whats going on.

12/26/2016 1 comment

Struggling to cope

by gemini 12/25/2016

written by gemini

Don’t get me wrong had a brill day lots of family time and fab gifts, I feel bad complaining as some of you guys have spent Christmas alone or had no family to spend time with etc, but my health condition has been threatening to put me in hospital again over the last few days and I can’t stand it anymore! It feels like I’m constantly being tortured.

I planned to commit suicide after the Christmas holidays so now I just got to get through the next few days of visiting family without ending up in hospital or try ending it too soon around them just […]

12/25/2016 6 comments

Can someone help me??

by Royal_Styles1 12/23/2016

written by Royal_Styles1

I don’t know how to explain what I’m feeling. I think I might be addicted (?) or I like being sad. Like even when I’m happy and I’m in a good place, suddenly at the middle of the night, I try to find some reason to make myself sad and angry about myself. I like the feeling of being sad and having that sting in your chest and feeling all alone as if no one cares about me even when I know it’s not true. I don’t really like it as I love it like a hobby but there are times when I find myself […]

12/23/2016 2 comments

I want to dissapear

by a-lone-wanderer 12/21/2016

written by a-lone-wanderer

So… i finally picked up my blade again, i guess it was inevitable.
I just need to vent some crap, and i hope it won’t surprise anyone here.
it’s test time again, i have to get to studying, again… my group depends on me, again… my family wants me to succeed, to help my brother, to have kids, to be prductive, to take care of my parents.
i feel like i’m nothing but that, another machine expected to keep going until i die. It feels pointless to try and resist, to be angry with my parents, with school, with college, with the system, with the […]

12/21/2016 2 comments

Optimism: Nothing Less Than Expected

by EyeOfHorus 12/20/2016

written by EyeOfHorus

In the spirit of both the holiday and the prompting of what seems like everyone I’m close to, I’ve been trying to approach things differently as of late. As I’m sure the majority of you are aware, it’s hard when you have given up and everything glows in a negative light. I’m trying to get over a past relationship that’s stuck in me like thorns. I’m trying to be active and work out. Trying to be consistent with violin practice. Trying to build relationships with people at work. I’ve even gone as far as to ask a girl on a date, which she said yes […]

12/20/2016 1 comment

Kinda Weird

by thewolf56 12/16/2016

written by thewolf56

It’s weird

There is absolutely no reason for me to be sad. I live a blessed live. I was born into a great family. I have a great girlfriend. I’m a very talented individual and excel in most categories. I don’t have any friends other than her but that’s okay because I work all hours of the week instead and I enjoy the work I do. Just anytime I get home, anytime any negative thing happens to me, I put a barrel in my mouth. I started doing it when I was about 8 years old. I would have a bad day at school and I […]

12/16/2016 5 comments

The best birthday present.. not

by beautifulsinner 12/15/2016

written by beautifulsinner

yesterday was my birthday. i originally planed for it to be the day i killed myself, but i held on. just to say i made it another year, you know? well, maybe i should have went through with my plan, because while i was walking home, i was sexually assaulted. what a great fucking present. i cant even describe what im feeling now. as if i dont have enough issues of my own. its just what what i needed. i cant stay strong forever. i hate myself. i hate my life. i hate all of this.

12/15/2016 6 comments

Fathers

by lulereign 12/15/2016

written by lulereign

Sometimes I feel like smashing his face in.

I am thankful, and of course I respect and love my parents. But he has the worst temper and I fucking hate how a bad mood makes him become like a completely different person. I’ve never been close to my dad, and it’s only recently I’d decided to open up a bit more, but his shitty attitude whenever he gets annoyed really does me in.

He just takes every single wrong thing out on you, and it makes you feel worthless, useless, and just all together fucked up. The worst part is he doesn’t even realise what he’s doing, […]

12/15/2016 0 comment

people make me so confused sometimes

by crockpot14 12/14/2016

written by crockpot14

I have had many instances in recently where I seriously just cannot believe some of the stuff I hear coming out of peoples mouths sometimes. I don’t know if they actually know what it is that they are saying or they just don’t care. I’m not judging if this is their actual opinion because heaven knows I’m trying to understand before I judge but can y’all help me out and just tell me what you think would be a proper response to hearing this stuff.

1.) She rejected me and said that she didn’t want to have sex with me, that girl is a *****.

2.) Oh […]

12/14/2016 0 comment

The Life and Times of Dog Shit

by AKidWithAName 12/13/2016

written by AKidWithAName

God. I can’t believe I actually fooled myself into believing that I have friends again. I swore to myself that I’d never let myself fall into this pit of nightmares again, but I actually thought that I was cherished and valued by my friends. They only want me for my homework answers. I don’t blame them for using me; I undeniably deserve that much. I am just displeased/filled with an eternal rage for myself for actually thinking that it would be different this time. It’s not going to be different until I either fix myself or off myself. I can’t keep complaining like this.

No […]

12/13/2016 1 comment

Dear Ex,

by omghella 12/13/2016

written by omghella

*gets on soap-box*

We were in love and I dropped you like a hot tamale. I didn’t even give you a good reason. I just left. And you don’t even appear to fucking care. Do you still like me? Do you hate me? You roll your eyes when you see me hugging my new friend in the hallway, but you still like my photos on Instagram. You find every excuse to text me but you passive aggressively tweet that you hate me… and then you delete it because you feel bad and text me that you’re sorry and want my forgiveness. Do you want my attention […]

12/13/2016 6 comments

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