I’m not a social person. I don’t like being around people. Most of the time I think they’re judging me, thinking I’m weird or going to talk about me behind my back. I know they won’t but I think it anyway. So I avoid any kind of social situation. I just sit in my room all day…
hey guys, im not exactly new 2 this, but ive never actually writen anything 2 post other tan comments and stuff, but im just saying tht im here 2 help, and tht i think tht the ppl who actually write on this are very brave for putting themselves out there for something like this, but if u r suicidal, think about things b4 u do anything.
6 or 7 weeks i cut myself. i wouldnt be here if it wasnt for two friends. they told me that this world would miss me. they told me that suicide is not the answer. i believed them. while i was talking to them my ex-boyfriend got on. i talked to him and i forgot all about it. now im really happy i didnt commit suicide! i have a wonderful b/f!
I’m a student. all through high school and university and when I go around I am frequently approached by fairly attractive females. I send them all away because I am so frightened of them. The female teachers hit on me too as well as male homosexuals. I’ve never had a girlfriend and am still a virgin. I’ve spent a lot of time practising playing the guitar. Now I am pretty good. However I never go play for anyone because I’m so frightened. I played some songs for groups of people at school, college, in clubs etc. and was good. However I am just so frightened […]
My life is pleasantly comfortable and I can’t complain about anything. I have a dream job and the money is great. I’m in a wonderful marriage with my lovely wife. We have a huge house and nice cars and stuff. If I were to ask for more, I’d be greedy. Sure I can hold out longer for a boat, a nice trip to Hawaii, or even just to see how the kids turn out, but why?
I guess it’s fair to say that self-termination is unfair to those around you and selfish in itself. I will never take that route but sometimes I think about it. […]
I had a good life: I am intelligent and ambitious. I have a great family, used to love life and lived it to the fullest. My career soared as well. I moved up from an entry level to a SVP in only a few short years. I was fortunate enough to meet a wonderful wife, inheriting a 3 year old step-daughter and later, a daughter of our own. Our dream was to enjoy life with our kids, have a nice home, travel and perhaps start a business venture of our own eventually.
And then…eight years ago, out of the blue, I began experiencing some […]
I visited relatives this Christmas, it was nice to see everyone but naturally I had a few too many drinks one night and let the veneer slip. So at least one other relative knows how fucked up I am. I really have to remember not to drink, it brings me nothing but misfortune. The trouble with being suicidally disenchanted with life is that it’s hard to cover it up, I’ve made choices in the past couple of months that have given away my secret motives, and so now I have jittery relatives worried about what I might do. I regret that, I should have been […]
I get in stages like this, In my life which just seem so wrong. I hurt so many people, with no happiness with myself. There are so many things that I want to leave. But so many things I want to move to, but they are so far, there is no point. So I wake up, without a reason. I walk without a back. Why do I stay?
The cut was small.
And then it became deeper
The shiny white tendon in my arm began to burn as the blade took one nick after another.
The vien, like a hose, shot steady streams of blood onto the ground of my balcany like a pool.
Putting out one cigarette after another into the mirror of crimson liquid.
My cat walked by in the yard below, and all I could think was “Who is going to feed you if I die?”
Do any of you know what it feels like to have to clean up your own blood from a bathroom floor?
i know i wouldn’t kill myself. but i feel like disappearing. just for an hour, maybe for a month, maybe forever. so many things are piling up on me. i don’t know how i feel anymore. the only girl i ever truly loved just hurt me ever so deeply. my parents aren’t bad parents, but it seems that everything that they try to do to promote a good relationship isn’t helping. my friends don’t really respect me anymore, and I hardly get any sleep from the amount of work I have to do.
I just want to sit down, take a deep breath and just vanish. […]
It came back. That cloud. The heavy, dark, consuming cloud of hopelessness. I have tried to kill myself on two occassions. Both using medication used to treat depression. Both times would have been successful had I not been found terribly drugged up. The second time I had a seizure as a result and lost a bit of my memory. How I wish I had lost more. I was in the hospital for months, “getting better.”. Then I got out, got another job, started upgrading some courses, even started having dreams again. That was a big sign for me that I had made it. I had […]
Am I the anti-norm? How did I get this way? Maybe Iâ€™m not just a product of my upbringing. Certainly others have had to grow up under much worse conditions. I had everything I needed. Well almost everything. But is love necessary? Iâ€™m finding it hard to remember what it is to be loved. To be honestly appreciated and cared about. A lot of it is my own doing Iâ€™m sure. Iâ€™ve pushed many people away. Others Iâ€˜ve cut completely off and toss them away. Then of course Iâ€™ve had friends who have crushed me callously numerous times. Having a low tolerance for others ruins […]
There is something terribly wrong here.
I can no longer recognize the face in the mirror.
I dont like waking up anymore..it all seems so pointless. It feels like the darkness that has taken hold of my mind is desperately trying to claw its way out of my skin. Each day it gets harder to fight the temptation. Just end it says the voice.
You know the voice of which i speak. Its a soothing voice. It talks of better places and happiness and peace and relief. It teases you with promises that THIS will make it all better..make it all go away.. […]
don’t know why I am doing this .. who cares ? I have made one mess of my life after another. Lost everything that matters. Didn’t realize until too late what is most important in life. Family. Love. Forgiveness. I don’t have any of that. the short version:
I was in a very unhappy marriage for near 20 years. I knew at the beginning that it wasn’t the “perfect match”. But it would do. I thought I would grow to love him. Hard to do when you don’t even respect each other. We had children over the years. So I never left because of the […]
The Golden Gate Bridge is the top suicide destination in the world. Suicide is not an easy subject matter. My brother died of cancer as a young man, and I was with him when he died. My sister was killed by a drunk driver, and I wasnâ€™t there when she died. In many ways, it was easier to deal with the death that I saw than the one that I didnâ€™t. That is what guided me as I made the documentary The Bridge. In 2004, our crew ran cameras at the bridge for almost every daylight minute, capturing most of the two dozen suicides that […]
This story won’t take long, but if I could this story would go on forever. That is how much I had admired this man. He was a dedicated teacher who knew so much of his students’ potentcial for greatness, but did not have time to admire their bright futures. The day he had died, I remember pulling up behind a parked ambulance. Any sign like that would make you worry. I had heard from one of my friends that my english teacher had collapsed, but it was in math class when my world had fallen apart.
“He has passed away,” my math teacher had said between […]
As I lie here on the couch [my 19 yo brother gets my room] my favorite feeling has comeback to haunt me.suicide.My whole life has been shit.I mean my brother is my moms favorite (even tho she acts like hes not)and all he does is treat me like scum even tho I bend over backwards 4 him.(BTW Im 15)No girl likes.I mean im not ugly or anything.Point is I just want this pain to end.If anyone thinks im doing the wrong thing plz tell. otherwise im going to end my suffering by thursday.see ya guys on the otherside
Each morning I’m disappointed to find that I’m still here. Each day brings such great burden. At the end of the day I have no reward for going through it. I fit the criteria for high functioning autism. I look normal so its an invisible disability. At least I now have a reason for always being unable to make conversation and not fitting in. It feels as if I was not made to communicate. When I try, my attention span runs out on me, and I have to struggle to find something to make the conversation continue. These […]
I sit here in this place of quiet and great knowledge. I sit here and I listen to the voices of those around me. Yet, I feel silence. The voices are distant. Far away from me, just like myself. Of course, I hear their words, but they mean nothing, as they have for so long. Until you feel the empty, you don’t know the meaning of alone. You don’t know the meaning of fear. They talk, and they live, and they love. They do not know these feelings that I feel. They do not experience […]