I’m taking things slowly, so we’ll see how this goes.
I know this won’t kill me. But this is the first step in destroying myself.
So here we go.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEYueRVuqmg&feature=related
Just Be–DJ Tiesta
I was lost
And I’m still lost
But I feel so much better
You can travel the world
But you can’t run away
From the person you are in your heart
You can be who you want to be
Make us believe in you
Keep all your light in the dark
You’re searching for truth
You must look in the mirror
And make sense of what you can see
Just be
Just be
They say learning to love yourself
Is the first step
But you take what you want to be real
Flying on planes to exotic locations
Won’t teach you
How you […]
I really thought I could do this; keep going, and actually live this time.
I can’t.
I’m drowning in my own thoughts, they keep coming and coming and they won’t stop once they’re here. Any other time I just CAN’T think. But times like now I can’t STOP thinking. There must be something wrong with me.
Everything important has been taken away from me by force, and now I have neither the strength or will to fight it.
Why can’t I just die?
They say they care, but they don’t know me.
I don’t even know me.
As I once heard someone say, If my mind is gone, why can’t my body […]
Had a freak out in Tescos today, things just, snapped. I don’t know. Hard to explain.
George won’t stop texting. Called me to, I just don’t want to talk to anyone.
Feel… Painful. I just, I feel sick, I want to cry, but I can’t. I’m scared for my sanity. I can’t, I’m to easily freaked out, things just, don’t work inside my head anymore, it’s like I can’t see clearly anymore, and sometimes, I think I can. I keep spaceing out, like, I was looking at the moon, and I just blanked, people tried to talk to me but I just wasnt; there. I was […]
I need a peaceful exit!
I think I’m going crazy.
Not in the screaming, yelling, foaming at the mouth crazy, but in a quiet way.
I can no longer trust my self, can no longer trust how I feel, (if I feel), how I think, or how I act.
Am I really feeling this way, or am I feeling that I should feel this way?
It scares me and I wonder if it’s not me pulling the plugs mentally.
Am I suicidal? Â I don’t know. Â I don’t want to die. But I no longer want to live.
Is this what it means to live? Â To just barely get from one crisis to another, only to have […]
I only discovered this site a few hours ago and i am blown away with it , to find people that are not all happy happy and trying to convince me that life is beautiful all the time or even a little bit .
plz dont do it
its not worth it
really i am begging you not to do it
Are any of these able to buy over-the-counter in the UK???
spent saturday in the E.R. only to be diagnosed with fucking Bells Palsy. It’s tough and i hate it.The Doctor put me on a steroid and an antibiotic that makes me feel like shit….. I feel like im going to puke and its hard enough to concentrate in class when I just feel like screaming and running out of the building until I pass out.  I hate hospitals and doctors. I never recieve any good news from them its always the bad stuff “your uncle may not live”, “your baby brother died, the dr. fucked up”, ” the didn’t fix his hip only for a short time, […]
Hi. I am going to a therapist tomorrow to see if I can find a new “person” for me to be.  I spoke to a counsellor at my work and she asked me how long has it been since I have felt like myself and happy. I had told her that I could not remember truthfully.  We both shared a laugh when I said that I will just have to find a new person to strive to be.    I decided long ago and after careful research that I will die of hanging.   I have plannned it all out for a long while. This plan includes  home improvement and fixing […]
I have now realized that my life- and this planet- truly won’t get better. Everything is getting worse and the only future I have will be suffering and pain. All the joy in life is gone.
I’ve decided how I’m going to do it and I’m ordering the supplies I still need. Since this place is no longer moderated I’m throwing this out there… Anyone who needs a suicide “buddy” or assistance let me know. If we’re close enough something might be worked out.
I’m talking to my girlfriend right now on the fone. She sounds so cute and I love her with every passing moment. She makes me feel good. Except she’s a rare drug, (sorry I haven’t slept all night, talking to her on the fone) and She fell asleep. She sounds so cute when she’s asleep :). Too bad when I leave my moms house and I don’t get Internet. I can’t call her and talk to her. I will miss her and my depression will come back. She lives in Fillmore, closely to Six Flags Magic Mountain and that’s like an hour and a half […]
I need advice on dissociation and depersonalization.
I’m gonna go into the city and try and shop to make myself feel better.
I’m meeting up with my girlfriend who knows how shit I feel, have an in-depth talk. Gonna tell her my feelings for this other girl because she deserves to know and I’m going to burn the letters I wrote to people.
See, now I “failed” twice. Or is it my God telling me that things will get better. I like to think it’s God.
the hour before I commit suicide,
I will write a letter to my mother and father, tell them I am sorry for everything I put them through, all the money spent on psychologists gone to waste, And thank them.
A letter to my sister, tell her that she was my best friend, even though we didn’t even see each other much, I could talk to her about anything.
A letter to my boyfriend, explaining everything I felt when I was alive, for he never understood, because I never told him, and that he was a great boyfriend.
A letter to the boy I will always […]
I spend most of my free time giving myself temporary pleasure, whether it is through shopping, food, or masturbating. But the reason I do this is not just to be satisfied for a short time, it’s because I know deep down that I’ll never get that permanent pleasure and I have to make that up through all the little things.
So yesterday I told my aunt how I’ve been feeling these past couple months. She’s the first family member that I’ve really tried to talk to about this. Her responses really aren’t going so well with me. They all seem to be those “I’ve been there before, here’s what I did to handle it” situations, but there’s really nothing about the depression I’ve been feeling. I’m wondering that if this is how she’s treating the situation, maybe I shouldn’t tell any of my other family members cause they’ll address it the same?
I’m trying to find help with the people around me, but really nothing ever […]