How do i ‘deal’ with it, if its all i can think about ? My best friends are pretty much what keeps me living, and my music of course. Anything sharp, makes me think of cutting. Whenever i go in the pool, i can’t help but think of drowning. My shower door, how it fogs up, reminds me of blood. So basically everything reminds me of dying.

Yes, i like the pain, which makes me weird, but its better than what i live through. No, i wasn’t raped or had family murdered, but i’m closed in. I can tell my friends everything, but whenever im around […]

My little Christmas vacation ends tonight, i have work again in the afternoon….I feel so restless, empty, and as always lonely. I lived my life much longer then i expected too as a child or teen, Am 23 and Ive never planed to make it this far. Its been a long road and Ive learned a lot, and i plan to keep going to keep thinking my philosophical thoughts to the day i die, hopeful as an old man. Yet, i left a huge gap in my life, my childhood and teen years have been spent crying in my room. As such i left a […]

i look into your left eye, and i see when everything was right
the mirrors had not appered, and youd kiss me softly at night
i look into your right eye, and see when you left
bleeding on the ground, wounded by myself
i see into the mirror, and see a stranger lost
…when did he take over, why isnt he gone?
i wake up from my dream, traped in a nightmare
only your not here, if only i was there

so yeah here goes, okay I’ve just turned 18 days ago, had the worst Christmas ever. I’m not here for sympothy or anything like that i just need to tell my story. Well i haven’t had a bad life, I’ve a mummy and family who i love but they just don’t understand, well enough off my rambling. 12th of June – the day i met HIM. I was at a concert and it was just by chance that we met, we were strangers, litterally bumped into eachother…we just got talking you know just asked where he was from his age(17) you know just small talk […]

ive come to the conclusion that im only good enough for one night stands, and i hate it, but im so desperate to feel something other than alone, ive always been the ugly one ALWAYS my best friends a super model guys come to me to get to her, and anytime i was ever in a relationship i would either fuck it up by being clingy or the guy would turn out to be an asshole ive gotten so much better about the whole clingy thing but guys only see me as some sort of sex toy, ive ruined my reputation, now im known as […]

Does anyone want to chat tonight? I just want to talk to another human being who either cares or will pretend to care.  Please no-one under 21, sorry.

Aaron

I lost the love of my life to some skanky girl in the grade below me. I lost my mind forever ago. Ive lost meaning in living. ive gave up on caring. ive gave up on trying to be the person my parents want me to be. im done be treated like shit. no cares about me so why even be here. my sister attemted suicide maybe i should too. i mean then i know someone would care. i hate this life. Nothing is getting any better i believe my ex then he breaks me down again by dating one of my friends. everyone tells […]

To all my friends who are dealing with the pain. Thank you all who commented on my post. I do not like people leaving a joke. This is not the time to joke.

Hello everyone, it is a test wall so be careful.

I am a 19 years old guy. I have deep depression and endless suicidal thoughts that is driving me crazy. I would not say I lived the worst life on earth, I know some people posted on this site have worse stories to tell and worse lives than the 1 I am going to address in a moment. First of all, I am the oldest of my brothers and sisters and always I had to be the best role model for them, which was a little stressful in the start of my life. I was in an SAT school (which […]

Everybody hurts. Sometimes they hurt for a short amount of time, other times it’s long extended periods that go on FOREVER. The last time I was happy -not talking oh this is exciting but genuinely happy- was two years ago. My 8th grade year. I started to cut myself when I was 13 years old. No 13 year old should be cutting themselves, it’s wrong, but I did. If it weren’t for my friends that I took a leap of faith and confided in, I would probably be dead by now… They listened to me when I was sad, helped me through the tear filled […]

Ever since I can remember my mother (who I’ve always called by her first name) and I have never got a long. Every day she picks me apart. I’m to thin, gained to much weight, I need to wear make-up, I have to much make up on, so on and so on. After over two decades of this you would think I would be immune to all this. But now I’m a single mom and I love my little child more then anything in this world. And sometimes I think if it wasn’t for him I could just end it all. Until lately where […]

I am a 49 year old man who has had the worst year of my life. I am suffering from depression and even thou I am getting help it is not working. I see someone every other week and also take two types of depression meds. 2010 has been the worst year of my life. My wife of 13 years left me in June. She was the love of my life. I was so in love with her I would of done anything for her. I never cheated on her. And as time went on she became more pretty to me. I loved her so […]

finnesey,
it’s lucky to have spotted your post before you deleted it.
There’s no more excuse for you to die on hernia.

Hernia is a sickness of the protrusion of the organs.
That might be the cause of your alcohol drinking that weaken your body.

Of your rotten teeth, I’m not sure if it’s disease causing, or of the weakness of kidneys or of the stomach.
But anyways, just a sign of weakness.

The body is like an energy of air wrapping up.
When the body got weak, it’s like a balloon sagging and protruding with the weight of water inside.
Hernia then occurs. And stomach sags. The […]

His love for her run down to nothing but sex and goodbyes.
Her everyday care for him leads to her tears.
His apathy tares her apart, while thoughts of suicide bust from her eyes.
Blood drips from her as he cries.
He knows the hurt he has caused.
Her last words like knives in his chest,
His eyes bleed tears of relief.

Life will only hit with you what you can handle…. Right? Wrong! The world seems to push people down then drown them. Funny how most begg to live. While some beg for death at every turn. I will live untill I am done with what needs to happen.

Thinking on all this I wonder were my soul might go. Another life? Hell? Will I be found? What will they think?
I hope I can say that in my death one person will smile and wish me luck. While life drowns me I will wait. I need to be sure of one thing first. Then the darkness […]

My boyfriend of two years dumped me two days after Christmas, and it was a major “why” to me because he had gotten me the sweetest gift and things were going fine, or at least, to me they were.

But then I find out that he’d been lying to me when he said he loved me, and just couldn’t do it anymore. What am I supposed to make of it, and what am I supposed to do now, is what I’m wondering.

I’ve always struggled with depression. I have seasonal affective disorder in the wintertime, and well… this just made it a dozen times worse.

Now I have […]

When will I know… tonight… tomorrow… one of these days I wont be such a loser, a failure, a 98% completer… One of these days I will find my courage. I will show everyone that I can complete something I set my mind to. When will be the day that life hurts more then death… I have no idea what death feels like but I do know misery. Death occures in a split sec. Misery follows me thoughout my day, in my dreams. I have come to terms with choosing to end my life when I want to. Take a really good look at thing […]

So I just talked to my mum and I feel like she’s still not getting it. I don’t think she realises how bad I am at the minute. Think she thinks I am putting on a display. I think i’m clinically depressed and am really struggling to hold it together. Me and my mum have no relationship and yet she expects me to let a new man come into our house every weekend or she goes to his house and I have to go and spend the night at my dads. I am nearly 18 and still being forced out of my own house. It […]

Hello.

I am 20 years old and I have a 2 year old son.

First, I’d like to state that my son is the most beautiful and important person in my life, I love him very much. Even as a teen I have had issues with clinical depression, bipolar disorder and borderline personality. My mother had me admitted for a suicide attempt when I was 14 and there they diagnosed me and had me put on meds. I haven’t been on them since I was 15, I stopped taking them because at the time I believed I was cured and I felt like a happier person. As […]

hey i’m (mylo) and i have been diagnosed with clinical depression and ocd, and suffer greatly from them daily. its a constant bother and can become horrible especially when one disorder feeds the other.

the disorders interfere with my life to the point that i’ve used numerous legal, prescription, and illegal drugs to feel relief from them and am medicated with effexor 75mg and risperidone .5mg daily. i’ve also had a history of suicide attempts ranging from overdose to wrist-cutting. i feel like i can’t really live a normal life. i have very few friends and constantly get in trouble with my family because of the […]