Hi, I’m new here. Let’s cut to the chase, I’m a college student have been struggling with this stuff for a while. I’ve got in trouble two times in college for drinking the last 2 weeks. I’m never going to make the same mistake again but I can’t live with my pain plus this all going on. It’s going on my record and I can’t bear it anymore. This struggle of mine has been going on for years and it’s only made it worse. I feel alone and scared but I’m finally ready after all these years. How do I write my note to be […]
Life is just too damn difficult for me…I can’t seem to get a grip on it, and now that I’m in my 40s I feel like it’s rather hopeless trying to change anything about myself to make things better. Sometimes I wish my parents and brother didn’t exist, so I wouldn’t have any obligations to continue existing. What a waste of time and money my life has been…can’t find meaning in existence, can’t connect with people, can’t even find any real enjoyment in this supposed gift called life. It would seem the sensible/responsible thing to do is recognize and fully accept that I really do […]
Hi, I’m new here. I’ve been reading the post and all of you are so brave, I don’t even think I’ll post this on here. And I am sorry for the cursing, if I don’t remember to fix them, I am just too overwhelmed today, and I just want to die now! I fucked up, I truly fucked up, and all of you would tell me that it’s okay, but I don’t think it is okay. I messed up very badly. I have something wrong with me, I can feel it in my bones, and in my mind. I have something wrong with me. I […]
i will be free and happy on the day i end my life 🙂
the voice comes at least three times a month, i’m tired of changing who i am over and over again. i can’t control my tears even though nothing happened, it tells me that i shouldn’t have ever existed, there’s no way out, i just want happiness for my family.
but how can i satisfy them when i kept having the thought? it’s 28C yet i still feel cold, i want to eat but i haven’t tasted anything good in months, i can’t help but disappoint them. they wonder what happened to their loving child, i’m getting frustrated in every word people say. i can’t keep this up, […]
I’m not living in the fool’s world, I swear. I’m considering myself neither as a victim nor as a person who harms people. Still, I know there’s a world of people who is angry, offended, hurt because of me. Some have turned away and some didn’t. And I’ve stopped thinking what hurts more. I’m otherwise fine, really. I drain myself everyday, pay no heed to my train of thoughts and simply wake up and get going. I crash to the bed and sleep. I eat – better than earlier. at least, I can stand the sight of food without feeling nauseous. I trust less and […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I just turned 29. I’ve accomplished nothing with my life. Because I’m a useless piece of shit. I have Borderline PD. I just got diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes. I have PTSD due to an abusive mother who never loved me. I am facing imminent homelessness. no job, no where to go. Will probably die on the streets this winter. I have a friend who is also facing homelessness. I love him dearly, but I feel like I can’t help him and that i’ll let him down. Or that I’m just a liability to his success. I just don’t see or feel any hope anymore. […]
Not really suicide related
The other day me and my boyfriend thought that we would take our laptops with us in the car. Mine was in a backpack, which also contained my passport. And some asshole broke into the vehicle and stole the backpack. So now I’m out a nice laptop and a passport. And I’ll have to get a new passport, at the very least an emergency one. Well I hope they’ll let me get that kind :/
Of course, I bet nothing will happen to the ones who stole my stuff.
This isn’t fair at all. Literally the only thing stolen was the backpack […]
suddenly, I admit – this type of attraction nobody shared to me.
and that within a scene being torn by coldness, lies and theft.
It would teased me to watch as he would die, but wouldn’t.
I could be more of just voyeur, I could abuse that kind.
Receiving his way empathy is such a madness. I hate to have thoughts that I’d like to recieve. I have no problems attracting him or had made him survive, but I have one being very first time accepting to have got one infatuated to me.
And to break his will with my wish to die is almost like […]
I felt long like this exemplar of human. As if the queried urge of someone made you each and appear where you are – but the wish just made you appear but does not mention how it does change.
I, might be 14, dissatisfied and without engagement made myself through the day with no felt struggle. There were a lot to many ones view striking on to me. They became all inflationary and meaningless, even making the double of ten times the amount was not much of an challenge or performance to me. It just not got into the desires, wishes and obligations which were meant […]
My life looks so depressing at this moment. You know, if feels almost like AN insult to accept this situation and live things just normal. It probably will pass soon or later. And the fact that I used my last Money to buy a bottle of cheap alcoholic beverage makes things even more depressing. But, what can I do about that? Its not a crime to drink, and it was my Money, so thats nobody’s business. Except for, my sister is kind of a n alcoholic, and she already went through some really tough shit, with doctors, and ambulances, and institutions, that kind of a […]
The human will is an interesting thing…I can understand intellectually that something is twisted, messed up, evil, harmful, dangerous, unwise…and yet still feel a deep longing to do it.
Which doesn’t mean I will. Obviously I also have significant survival impulses deterring me from more destructive courses of action.
But knowing I’m not going to act on a desire doesn’t make it go away. Instead it just torments me all the more. The longer you deny an urge, the larger it becomes in your psyche.
The question then arises…how do I stop wanting this thing that cannot be acted upon, that is causing me pain? To which there […]
i want to save my child from a shitty life and just end it. i already know i’m shitty mom as i am bipolar as fuck and i can’t control being angry. i feel selfish as fuck leaving him in this cruel world but i just can’t do this anymore.
not gonna lie i just wanna end my life
I feel like the end is coming next week.
I don’t like the way l feel.
I’m gonna die. By my own hands mostly. I don’t want to be 22. He’s gone so every plans there is is out of the window. Ah. Life had been nice but I dont want to do it anymore.
I’m lost. I’m totally lost. I’m still stuck in the darkness. I have no idea where I am or how to fight or how to get the hell out of here.
I don’t like feeling trapped in this place. I don’t like the darkness I can’t ever get out of.
It’s hard to breath. I can’t breath.
I don’t feel like I’m okay, like I’m going to be okay…
Now placing in stepping the floor crumbles in front of me, but I can’t see where or how far the hole is. Even my darkness is falling to pieces.
I keep looking everywhere for the glimpse […]
“Fuck off; go fucking die; crazy kid.”
I’ve been told these things by a family member yesterday, undeservedly so.
She knows nothing about me, but it hurt, a lot.