I went back to school today, it was the worst couple of hours ever! Was hoping for a fresh start but kept getting dirty looks from people. I feel insecure as it is. I can’t stand the way I am. I hate myself I don’t need someone else to tell me what a fuck up I am. Thought I would have a fresh start with people I considered friends instead I was greeted with a “fuck you!” and someone else shaking their head at me. The thought that kept running through my mind was ‘what am I doing here? Why didn’t I just end it […]
Tag:
Guess
Wow I haven’t cried in forever :’) this sucks really. Well heres the deal,I’m losing another one of my best friends yea what is this the 3rd one? I only have 4 friends I could actually count on and who actually understand me. The one friend I thought I would have forever just cause we’ve been together Forever haha 3years I guess was too long *sigh* well there goes my damn twin/big bro he was the only reason I’m still alive,te only reason I woke up in te morning now…I just don’t know what to do. Yea people are probably thinking “so what wow you […]
im 14 years old i just had my heart broken with a guy that abused me and even tho he did i still miss him and i feel heartbroken caus now he has a gf and it was one of my old friends i thought i had people there for me but i guess not all my girls left me caus he never let me go hangout with them i always had to be with him and him only i wasnt allowed talking to other guys and he break up my best guy friend i know i should hate him but i dont……i have scars […]
I guess I’m suicidal. My stomach churns just putting that label next to my name. I think about it all the time. I think about all the things wrong. I get sucked into that black hole where you just keep going down and down. And then I find myself on facebook in an immature poke-battle with one of my best friends (who I also happen to have been hopelessly in love with for years) and I can’t wipe the smile off my face as I watch the notification pop up again and again. A real smile, not the stupid fake one I plaster on my […]
I met a guy a year ago and I’ve had a crush on him ever since I saw him. we’ve always been friends and I know he’s been thro a lot and he knows I have too. I’m like best friends with his sister and I went to hang out with her and we went to a party with her bro there. he got drunk and I got drunk and we ended up hooking up. a week later I started to really like him… then over Christmas break we hooked up again.. and I still like him more then before. I’m scared to love him […]
i’m staring at this blank page waiting to type something but ii have no idea what but i have so much to tell about..so i guess i’ll just start telling.
I’m a girl 15 and last year i tried to commit suicide by cutting my wrists,I survived . I have scars on my wrists and thigh,i used to had more but they fade away, I did a lot of self-harm cuz that was the only way i could feel some relief.My mother heard me cry almost every night,she saw my scratches  on my arm but didn’t do anything about it.I’ve tried many times to tell them […]
So I forgot to close out this website before letting my mom borrow my computer. I don’t want to talk to her about it. Why? Because there is no communicating with her. I’ve tried before. -chuckles- You know what she said? “If you do it don’t do it here”. Like that is going to make me open up to her. I wont say I HATE my mother, cause I don’t except when I’m mad lol but I do dislike her ALOT. I just don’t understand why people are so blind. I’m not perfect. There I said it. But I am trying to work on myself […]
I cut myself again. I guess I don’t really mind because at least now I can think straight….. It’s been two days since my first attempt….. I honestly didn’t think that i was gonna fail either…. for some reason i know for sure that im going to try again…. Is this insane???
I’m still wrestling with the thought of being remembered as a coward for “choosing the easy way out”……but to be honest that choice i made 2 days ago, to end it all AND go through with it….it was one of the hardest choices ive ever had to make….. anyways I have another question: What […]
I see the dishes clatter and fall.
I feel your breath on my face as you scream at me.
You hit my face.
My arms.
My ears.
I taste my salty blood.
At least the ringing in my ears is gone.
I see mother crying
Almost as if she’s begging you to stop.
You swing at me again.
My face to the floor.
How do I explain these bruises?
I won’t tell.
I won’t tell.
I’ll just smile to the wary eyes.
I’ll just wave it off.
No big deal.
No one will know your problem.
I don’t know why I exist
But maybe I’ll live to […]
Im a 13 year girl. I live in Puerto Rico. I go to school. My Family: Mom, Dad, Brother(older)and my grandparents(divorced)ect… My Mission is helping other that have been through the same pain, anger, hatred, and sadness which that cause Depression or Suicide Attempts. The most important thing is to reach them out and say ”Never Give Up” because you are not alone, If you need someone to talk to, to hear you, I’ll be here. Remember ”Never Give Up”
My whole life has been one traumatic event after another. Most of my young childhood memories are of my mother beating on my older brother and sister. When my older sister got married and moved out of the house my mother then turned her aggression towards me. It wasnt so bad as long as i stayed out of her sight. So that is what i did. We moved to texas when I was 12. The first couple of months mother was oddly pleasant. It felt like things may be getting better. Guess again! It was just the calm before the storm. Mother on top of […]
hi, i am new here (sorry about my bad english) and i was hoping that i could finally tell how i feel and maybe.. someone would understand and listen. well, i feel like shit and i don’t fit in to my familys perfect world. my friends don’t take me seriously and my grandfather likes to hit me.
i guess this all began when i was 12 because he hit me for the first time (i am now 18) i don’t know why but my grandfather has always hated me. when i was 14 he told me that i am a pathetic asshole and terrible big sister […]
I really never wanted to write a post on this website. Or I guess I do it’s just that I hate it when people judge me but oh well. It’s not like I have anything more to lose anyway so here goes…
I just don’t understand why dying is such a bad thing. I really don’t get it. Like why does everyone act like I’m such a freak just because I don’t want to live anymore? Is it because life really is supposed to be this wonderful perfect happy gift that never stops giving? Well if thats the case then I should really kill myself because […]
My relationship with my partner of 12 years has failed. Â I gave up my family and my culture to be with him in another country. Â Somehow, I have managed to end up with no job, no career, no money and no prospects, with a 4 yearold and a 2 yearold in my care. Â I have struggled with depression and the care of 2 kids while hubby kept going with his fancy career and now he wants the kids. I have nothing to offer – there is no money or recognition in being the mother of my children. Â All the court wants to know is how […]
I’ve always known that I was depressed. But i put a good wall and hid it from everybody. At a glance, nobody would guess how rotten and dead i feel inside. I’ve read websites for “help” but honestly, I dont want help. I’ve been depressed and suicidal for so long. I have never felt wanted or truly happy. If at one point I was happy, everything would soon come crashing down. And I’d be in my bed crying myself to sleep, reaching over to get the scissors and start cuting on my arm.
Just like today. I was truly excited to go on a vacation with […]
in responce to that first comment on my last blog (sorry about the spelling): i didnt mean for it to sound like i was competing, or even to insinuate that this is, somehow a competion. just that i got the feeling that my last post was being pooh- poohed as unimportat. any way. i cant talk to my friend (we’re 17), thats really the whole problem, i dont know how to express my self (hense competition thing), i either underestimate the whole situation, and then people dont belive me, or i go ott, and end up getting really defensive.Â
i cant talk to my mum or dad, […]
i have it good compared to others but i go and try to screw it up the first chance i get
by emily25
written by emily25
I am such an idiot! I see that something is finally going right, then I screw it up! I hate myself. This isn’t me. It’s not who I am. It’s wrong. I know it is wrong. I feel so guilty! Why did I do this? I know what the outcome will be. I have this small doubt still. Somehow It will work out. What if it dosn’t?! What if I lose the few people I have just because I had to say a few things like that?! I know how wrong it is. How wrong I am to do so. What the hell is wrong with […]
I’m new here. But I’m not new to the concept. I’m tired of crying. I’m tired of cutting. I’m tired of pulling my hair out in frustration. I’m tired of being hated. I’m tired of walking into a room and wanting to run out for fear of people thinking I’m crazy or annoying.
I hate me.
I’m a 19 year old girl in college persuing an astrophysics and math double major. Yeah, I know. Same reaction I get from everyone. “Do you have some sort of death wish!?” If they only knew the truth in that question.
I’m not going to list the reasons that I feel sorry […]
So, i guess i’m here.. just to share with you my experience..
I guess the stress of sports, losing friends, family, and getting my heartbroken over and over.. got to me.. I started cutting, which was a big mistake.. I know that, and i’m done doing that now.. One night, i couldn’t handle anything anymore.. I ran to the bathroom crying my eyes out.. I locked the doorbehind me, and grabbed a blade, and slashed my arm.. I kept cutting up my arm, slashing it, over and over.. Telling myself what a fuck up i am.. And how it was all my fault.. Each cut, deeper […]
I guess I’ll start off with a quick synopsis of who I am before I start explaining what is that’s making me feel suicidal. To start my name is Luke, I’m 19 and I live in St. Louis Missouri, have my whole life. I graduated highschool a little over a year ago and I’m currently going to ITT Tech. I’m overall a middle of the road kinda guy on almost everything. B average student, somewhat attractive, funny at times, etc. Just normal.
Anyway as of late I’ve been feeling pretty bad. Actually I haven’t felt this bad in a long time. For some reason I’ve been […]