I used to enjoy softball. It was hard work, sometimes it was draining, but I actually like. I don’t think I do anymore. Everyone expects something from me. My parents and tournament softball coach think that I can play college and expect so much more than I’m capable of. My high school coach thinks I can’t do anything and doesn’t give me a chance. He expects nothing from me. I can’t deal with all of this. I wish I could go back and start over. I wish I was more athletic. I wish I was more confident in myself. I wish people could see […]
Help
I am here to tell you one thing. Death isn’t my solution, it is my hideaway spot. The place I dream about when things get bad, the place I think about when I want to end things, but cant bring myself to do it. I find it comforting to dream about what could be if I died, but then it begins to scare me, it begins to make me feel alone, and sometimes I don’t know what to do. How to handle life, how to keep going. Im so tired of struggling, so tired of living off of nothing, having to rely on others, I […]
Right, this is my first post on this site. I’m 16, Cliche angsty teenager. Depressed, Anxious, Low Self esteem, paranoid etc. The full package basically. Recently my parents have discovered about the cutting (and have guessed about the depression from that), and are trying to force me into counselling because of it. I’ve been to counselling before for anxiety, but it did sweet fuck all. Question is, do I do it again? I feel like it would be helpful, because, like everyone else here, I’ve tried to kill myself, and do genuinely want to get better, but can’t see a way of doing it by […]
Wow… it has been over three years since I have been on this site. I found a new site I have been posting on more recently called inkvite. But I would like to take a step back and tell you my story…
As a child I had extremely bad separation anxiety but none of my doctors ever believed my mom. As I got old my mom noticed characteristics of ADD/ADHD in me and she tried to get me tested but no one would test me. She eventually gave up her fight.
As a middle schooler things started getting bad. I was always picked on and bullied. […]
A few days ago, a classmate noticed the cuts on my wrist.
Today, a friend of mine saw the cuts too.
I told them it was nothing, that I only got them for being mean to cats (Don’t get me wrong, I love cats.). I know what I said was such an awful thing to say especially when even you can see the truth beyond your own lie. It’s just that I couldn’t quite think of anything to use as an alibi anymore.
I’m afraid sooner, more people would start to notice the slashes on my wrist and think I’m a weirdo, or worse they might think I’m someone […]
Firstly, I should sorry for my English, I’m not a native speaker. So, okay…
Why am I can’t be just happy? Why I have to bear all this pain, hiding deep inside in me? I only want to smile so heartily as I was smiling before but it seems to me that I need to wait a lot of time before I can say that I am really happy. I just hate to wear this mask, to behave like everything is okay, to lie to myself that this time will end soon.
I’m tired. I’m so tired of it…
It’s started in the beginning of August, and I […]
Dear anyone who reads this. Usually the things posted here are own personal feelings or deep despair. But I offer a different message. To everyone whose hurting or feeling alone, theres probably one other person in this world who knows how you feel. This world is huge with billions of people and possibilities and out of all those people I’m sure a whole lot more would be will to just listen. And if you think theres absolutely no-one. Theres me. So find that one thing, one person and hold tight. I encourage everyone to reach out, its better to be sad with someone then sad […]
Hey SP,
I post rarely, but when I do, it is normally impotent to me. I understand if no one once to hear me, I’m used to it, but if you read this, please help.
So I doing a bunch of midterm, and I don’t give a fuck. There are so many things that are learned in school that is a waste of time. For example, foreign language even though today’s modern day uses technology. Also I am not a dummy, but I’m not a genius, but everyone wants me be a straight A student. I have a few choices in life, but not enough to control […]
I don’t know how to explain what I’m feeling. I think I might be addicted (?) or I like being sad. Like even when I’m happy and I’m in a good place, suddenly at the middle of the night, I try to find some reason to make myself sad and angry about myself. I like the feeling of being sad and having that sting in your chest and feeling all alone as if no one cares about me even when I know it’s not true. I don’t really like it as I love it like a hobby but there are times when I find myself […]
im 21 years old and I don’t know what I feel anymore. When I was 12 I used to cut myself I was going through a tough time at home but I managed to sort out my head. Lately the past few months me and my boyfriend of two years haven’t been seeing eye to eye and me and my dad are constantly arguing. My job pays nothing and my family are always on my back to find something else but they don’t know how hard it is! I have five brothers and sisters so you can imagine the pressure of growing up and having […]
Why me?
Why can’t someone see, that I’m hurting?
Why can’t I just break?
Why aren’t I breaking?
Why is it when people yell horrible things at me, I stay silent?
Why can’t I fight back?
Why can’t I end it?
Why do I feel this way?
Why me?
I’ve been wondering what you all (out there in cyberspace) consider to be the answer to your problems. I know there are some out there who feel there is no hope at all and they should just end it all. You could be sitting in your room right now about to do some thing you can’t take back. So why not give this a thought? What would help you?
I once attended Job Corps in my early twenties. I found that having EVERY THING planned out for me really helped me develop a routine that I couldn’t/can’t do on my own. It’s been years since I’ve […]
So, im 15 i know im young but, i just need some answers. I’ve been wanting to kill myself since i was around 10. i’ve really lost all the people i care for and ive had a crappy life.
My little brother told me to kill myself already. So, did my bestfriend/ex he also told me to kill myself too. My parents arent the worse but, they arent the best too. My biological father lives god knows where now, and is good for nothing. My mother is always stressed out and snaps at me alot. My step father was abusive but, has changed his ways… hes […]
what are some of your guys’ experience with anti depressants. getting to that low point again the days are so hard to get through. it feels like being around people is making me depressed because Im around so many people but also so alone at the same time. I don’t understand why its so hard for me to talk to the people I want to talk to.
Ive been struggling to find someone to talk to recently as i dont feel im doing the best.
I tried the online counselling but they all need payment details to actually talk to someone professional.
I just want someone who knows what im going through to pay attention and offer advice because i honestly feel so lonely atm.
Id really appreciate a message… For the record im also a really good listener!
I need help… I need to feel something again other than pain and sadness and heavy hearted. I’m falling apart and no one notices anymore because apparently I’ve been become too good at hiding. Ironic really that the only thing I’m good at anymore is hiding how I really feel. 22 years of doing it though, I better be fucking good at SOMETHING.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me… Why can’t I ever enter into a relationship where I’m not used, betrayed, or abused? Why can’t I feel happiness again, but REALLY feel it? I smile at my loved ones, I […]
heads up everyone, i ramble. i feel nothing and at the same time i have so many thoughts that i cant think, so this is basically emotional throw-up. read it. or dont. im mostly just putting my thoughts down so that i can understand them better myself.
i was angry and sad today, as i often am, and stumbled across this site. whoever started it, kudos to you, because its nice to talk to people who understand, rather than broken records saying ‘dont be depressed, be happy’. lovely, i will just do that then. oh wait, i dont know how. its not a simple thing, though it seems like […]
So I have been depressed since I was 13, I had a eating disorder (anorexia) for almost three years, I have social anxiety, I self harmed for many years, but now I am 7 months free (yep, trying to hold on) and I tried to commit suicide 5 times.
I can’t stand not being the best, and this feeling is eating me alive. I can’t focus, I can’t stop crying, I can’t sleep and I can’t eat. The feeling of not being perfect is destroying my life, I can’t help but break stuff, hurt myself, slap my face and smash my head against a wall everytime I […]
If someone came up to me asking me questions like, “do you want to commit suicide? Why do you want to?” and then attempted to be friends with me afterwards, I would have a very difficult time putting stock into their word. The reason why is because relationships formed on a helper-suicidal basis tend to not last and are never really genuine. Relationships formed on said basis usually entail a lot of tip-toeing around certain issues (dishonesty or half-truths) and more often than not, culminate in the slow termination of the relationship when the helper believes that the suicidal has been “fixed,” and realizes that perhaps, outside of the helper-suicidal context, the […]