Tag:

nothing

My Hope has eroded away :(

by losthope35bk 5/23/2016

written by losthope35bk

I need HELP.

This is how i’m feeling….

My willingness to keep fighting this endless loop of misery, pain and fear has totally eroded away. I feel I offer nothing… well nothing positive, only failure. This torture I’ve existed with for the past 20 years is a sign that I’m not meant be here. I’m sure I’m being punished by a greater force for being a noncontributing, useless burden. The longer I stay, the longer I’ll suffer.

I’ve was diagnosed with major depressive disorder (MDD) over 14 years ago and have been on almost every antidepressants as well as lithium but none have worked for me. My psychiatrist has gradually increased […]

5/23/2016 3 comments

Reality is boring , real life is boring , real world is boring , not like movies, comics, novels, anime manga, video games !

by niki 5/22/2016

written by niki

Reality is boring
real-life is boring
real-world is boring
not like movies, comics, novels, anime manga, video games !

also,
I hate Humans , Humans suck
I hate Human , Human suck
I hate Humanity, Humanity suck
I hate people , people suck

Most humans / people only think about Money ,
and this reality is boring !
reallife is boring !
realworld is boring !

people / humans are so shallow, superficial, stupid, ignorant
Humanity is hopeless

if there is God , then God is boring !
even Science is boring too !
Science fiction (Sci-fi) is much more interesting than real Science facts !

why […]

5/22/2016 3 comments

Jumping feels like flying til you hit the ground

by retrospectivesuicidalepiphany 5/20/2016

written by retrospectivesuicidalepiphany

I’m slowly but surely slipping into an eternity of sadness. I’ve lost all interest in all of what once was my passions. Cooking, bowling, working on vehicles, even mingling with a group of friends.

I’ve lost interest in life. Nothing feels good. Everything’s wrong. Nothing feels right anymore.

I’m slowly tearing away. Pieces of me are frail and falling. I can’t seem to make them stay. You’ve run away. Faster and faster Now you can’t seem to get away.

In the life of the wrong
Love lingered on
Love lingered on to frustrations
If our love is so wrong
What should we do alone
Or am I just […]

5/20/2016 3 comments

only human?

by 4beyondhelp 5/17/2016

written by 4beyondhelp

so I’ve recently heard the piece of advice from lots of people- on here and in real life- to remember that parents are only human. I appreciate the advice and yes, I do in fact realize that my parents are also prone to mistakes.

but I know when people mean what they say. my mother is a lawyer for a living. obviously this does not mean that she says the right thing all the time, or that she doesn’t have outbursts of things she doesn’t really mean. but she literally reads contracts to make sure people say what they mean so that they can be legally […]

5/17/2016 2 comments

Tomorrow is my last day alive hopefully

by The Advisor 5/16/2016

written by The Advisor

Time flies. Remember this because it’s the truth. 6 years has gone so fast. 6 years of nothing but pain and Misery. I know that nothing will ever change. I am the very monster I wanted to destroy and now, I can with simple choice: Death

5/16/2016 9 comments

Dose anyone know?

by kupo95 5/16/2016

written by kupo95

I need help to shut off every emotion In my body so I can be manipulated and feel nothing so I can go on with life with brain damage and not care I hope I die some one kill .

I want to bleed I want to becomw a pcyco path .

5/16/2016 2 comments

nothing left

by 4beyondhelp 5/15/2016

written by 4beyondhelp

I don’t even know what to say. I told myself long ago that if I reached this point, I’d kill myself. I tried and it didn’t work, but now I have no way to do it, and since my mom is already apparently so crushed by just the tiny tidbit that I cut, I can’t make myself work up the strength to kill myself now anyway.

I’m not getting anything done, I barely show up to anything anymore, I don’t know how I’m getting away with all this. I’ve not been cutting even though I really deserve it now more than I have before because at […]

5/15/2016 5 comments

waste

by retrospectivesuicidalepiphany 5/13/2016

written by retrospectivesuicidalepiphany

My dreams, while vivid and lucid, are a waste of thought.

The damp regions of my mind are a waste.

I am a waste.

I am nothing.

An epiphany of waste.

Useless. Void. Insignificance flows out of me.

Broken.

Baneful. Disinclined.

5/13/2016 0 comment

Stubborn

by thehusk 5/13/2016

written by thehusk

Given that death is inevitable for all, the pertinent question would seem to be: what do I want to do in whatever time is left.

There are things that I would like to do in my remaining time. But none of them are tangible, based in my real life. They require me to be other than I am. And I do not know how to be other than I am. I do not know how to give up being myself. I am addicted to it. Attached to it. Neurosis, unhappiness, unease is the way I define my reality. I cannot give it up. I cannot accept the […]

5/13/2016 6 comments

Suicidal

by whydoiwantto 5/12/2016

written by whydoiwantto

I am crying alone in my room. I have not left my bed in over 16 hours and missed work today. I have a feeling I’ll be fired tomorrow if I show up. Might not show up tomorrow either. Long story short, I am feeling overwhelmingly suicidal again.

Not that I ever really stop feeling this way, but I’m talking about the bawling, give-me-a-gun-I’ll-do-it, type of suicidal thoughts. The kind that are uncontrollable and terrifying, not the logical and cold thoughts… These are emotional and broken and angry and indecipherable. And I hate myself so much for going through all this, for thinking this way. I […]

5/12/2016 3 comments

5/10/16

by YoungGods 5/10/2016

written by YoungGods

Hello,

It’s been awhile. I’m doing alright, I think. Do you ever just lay down and think of all the bad things? Then it takes forever for those thoughts to die down just quiet enough to sleep decently. Past few days I haven’t slept well. I hate this feeling. One second I’m perfectly fine. Next second everything changes. Questions flood my mind. I get this blank feeling spreading across my chest, almost like its trying to take over. Ways to prevent me from moving on. It really sucks when I don’t cry. I just sit here for minutes to hours doing nothing but thinking. If I […]

5/10/2016 2 comments

Sketching something

by Cordless 5/8/2016

written by Cordless

I mentioned in an earlier post that I wanted to try sketching some things.
I couldn’t find an app that did what I needed, so I just drew on a sheet of paper and took a picture of it.
.
sketch-cryleaf
.
I haven’t taken any art classes, and I realize this is nothing compared to the amazing things some of you have posted.

Still I’d like to keep working on some projects, and maybe I will get better as time goes on.

If nothing else, maybe this (plus my […]

5/8/2016 41 comments

what?

by kittykat 5/7/2016

written by kittykat

I don’t know what to do
I don’t know what to say
I don’t know what to hear

Knowing is what I am looking for.
Knowledge is both beautiful and tragic.

Beautiful because there is nothing better than being aware
Tragic, because once aware, can never go back to unknown.

Once you see it, it’s difficult to forget.

Unknowingly happy
Knowingly unhappy

5/7/2016 6 comments

ha

by One Million Masks 5/7/2016

written by One Million Masks

i don’t really come here for help anymore, so please ignore me; i just wanted a place to ramble.

i never in my wildest dreams thought i would make it to eighteen- not once, even at my most optimistic, did i seriously consider the possibility that i’d still be here today… but i am here.

i don’t really know how i feel about that.

it’s almost kind of laughable, you know? like a bad joke or a fucked up riddle, what’s still there but not, what should be gone that isn’t, what do you call a ghost that’s still alive– and it’s me.

it’d be nice to say hey, […]

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5/7/2016 2 comments

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Born death and i will die again soon ….

by StillBirth 5/1/2016

written by StillBirth

i have no words now … i was thinking about that alot latlyyy but i had a little hope just alittle one to fight for … but now !!!!

i made my decision ill stop thinking about it and ill do it soon ill fix some things before i leave …. i have nothing to do here actually never had !!!!

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5/1/2016 0 comment

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Count my blessings.

by HannahGort99 4/30/2016

written by HannahGort99

So I’ve lost hope now. Years and years of therapy, waiting a shit load of money – sorry mum. I just feel like nothing is helping. I’m still cutting and going deeper and worse, I’m still suicidal and getting closer to death and my mind is going darker and darker, losing its contrast. I’m slowly giving up and all it’s doing is hurting my family.

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4/30/2016 2 comments

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We can stand on the stage and watch them burn…

by The White Rabbit 4/27/2016

written by The White Rabbit

A good song that is. It’s been a while since last I was here. A shit load has happened… I tried to resolve my issues, I’ve tried to resolve that I have to push through life. I refuse to believe this is a fucking disease. The only disease on this planet that doesn’t rot your flesh is humanity itself if I can cut past the idea that I’m talking about you, the reader.

I know I can’t kill myself… not myself anyhow. I’m too much of a coward and all of my attempts have just been those of a coward. So I can’t do that.

Right now […]

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4/27/2016 0 comment

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I feel “in-valid” and I am “no-thing”

by tryingtohope 4/26/2016

written by tryingtohope

The word “invalid” fascinates me. Someone who is an invalid is somehow considered not valid; not worthwhile; not truly a whole person.

I feel invalidated by most people in my life. They simply don’t understand the physical and emotional struggle I face just to get through another hour; another day of this miserable life.

I am expected to help my mom because my dad just died. […]

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4/26/2016 21 comments

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weakness.

by 4beyondhelp 4/24/2016

written by 4beyondhelp

All weekend I have been going back and forth, deciding whether or not to kill myself. I want to but I feel guilty about all the loose ends I have here. I don’t want to leave them untied but it doesn’t seem like I can tie them all up in time, or do it without someone maybe getting suspicious. And it wouldn’t be too hard to ignore that and do it anyway, since I won’t be around to feel guilty about it anyway, but I am a coward. I hate the way I am but it seems like so much effort to stop this once […]

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4/24/2016 6 comments

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Just Another Day.

by ukedreams 4/24/2016

written by ukedreams

I’m sat in my bed at 25 minutes to midnight, trying to ignore my exhaustion in order to let my thoughts flow freely. I am not suicidal- yet. I don’t doubt that I possibly could be, someday, but for now I simply wish that I was. Sounds ridiculous, right? It makes sense to me. My current viewpoint on life is toxic to me, of that I’m aware, and that is because my mind is brutally honest when it comes to ‘the meaning of life’ and similar topics. My own mortality, along with everyone else’s, is what prevents me from being genuinely happy. I’m all too […]

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4/24/2016 10 comments

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