Recently, things have been worse than normal. More family issues, issues with my lover, my so called ‘friends’. It’s alright though, I won’t be here much longer. Hopefully I’ll only have to endure a few more months of this hell.
I have three plans in mind. First I’ll try and get my hands on a gun. It’ll take awhile, I either have to crack the code on the vault or have them trust me enough to get me one for ‘shooting practice’.
If that doesn’t work, I’ll plan a time to sneak out with a bunch of liquor and pot and go to the railroads. […]
Tag:
Suicide Attempt
The day was like any other really, I’m not sure why but I expected it to be different. Some huge event that happened on that day to lead me to finally take the leap but no:
I woke up,
drove to uni,
came home,
I didn’t feel any different to every other day that week, sad, useless, a waste of space, tired of living, but most of all I guess ‘alone’
But I happened to look into the mirror, I looked, I stared for what seemed like an eternity and I realized, I had no idea who that person was, looking back at me.
I had gone through so much, attempting […]
I’ve been depressed for quite a while now and I’ve been fighting it for far too long. Hurting myself is not helping anymore and I’m just getting worse. I just need someone to tell me the best way to ensure death. Please this is not a cry for help, I’m just really too tired to live.
Whenever someone is suicidal, or self harms, the question people most commonly ask is “Why?” The question they should really be asking is “Why not?”
Everyone else in the world–normal people, those who can function on a daily basis–has a reason why not (even if they don’t realize it.) They have friends, a career, art, music, something that makes their lives good enough to keep going. I don’t. I never have. The last time I attempted was almost three years ago. Since then I’ve been searching for a reason “Why not?” but I can’t find it.
I’ve been thinking about trying again. This Friday I have an […]
Full-alert here, if you are going to try to bash me, insult me, or talk me out of this, please leave this thread. I am not asking for your judgement or opinions. You are not me, you have not lived my life, and so you have no right to decide what I should do with it Second warning, this is a very long post. Please bear with me.
Okay, after getting that point across, I was wondering the certain fatality doses for prescription medications. I am trying to garner as much information from people as possible, so if you know any other websites/forums where I won’t […]
approximately 92-96% of suicide attempts end in survival.
Source http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Failed_suicide_attempt
According to a report released by the American Association of Suicidology1, there are 25 attempts at suicide for every one success.
Source http://lostallhope.com/suicide-statistics
It bothers me because failure means my life will be even sh*ttier, than it was before the attempt. I hope I do a good job of it.
I would just like to say thank you to the both of you. I don’t know who you are or why you decided to help me but, I’m so glad you did. I obviously never went through with my suicide attempt and now I have the most beautiful girlfriend in the world. She is smart, goofy, adorable, and I LOVE HER SO MUCH!!! :). She makes me so happy, instead of dreading every morning and sleeping all the time, I wake up excited to spend time with her and experience new things with her that I would never do on my own. I cant imagine […]
I’ve been depressed for the past three years. It’s changed me on the inside, and you could almost say that I’ve developed, maybe grown for three years. But it’s odd, and I feel like as if most of my depression is from myself. This post is basically a boring recollection on how my depression has progressed, but hey I feel like posting here. I appreciated this website the moment I set eyes on it. I just don’t know how to sort myself out, and there are a lot of things that are difficult to express with words. I’m starting to get anxiety attacks because of […]
I apologize too much.
I’m sure the same thing can be said a lot of people, but I know personally that when I screw up, I apologize over and over because I honestly don’t know how else to be forgiven. I get mad at myself if I can’t seem to get a person to reconcile with me even if I’ve tried reconciling with them already. I’m not the most eloquent person you’ll ever meet. And for any of you who know me, you know I’m far from it. But I don’t need to be eloquent for you to understand a feeling, a concept. Those are […]
Bare with me, I don’t do this kind of thing a lot. Ever, really. I’m 15, female. I started cutting when I was 12. My mom and older brother were fighting all the time, not like arguing either, like throwing chairs at each other. He hit her and made threats. I didn’t feel safe. He pushed me around a little but nothing major. My mom was also mostly living with her abusive boyfriend at the time, staying at his house with his family. I hated that. She left me home with my Bi-Polar drugged out father and younger brother, whom I basically raised. After several […]
I don’t really talk much about my suicide attempt but when I do, I get choked up and cry. She didn’t know much about it but today, at her house she happened to be looking through my blog and read what I wrote on my day back from the hospital. I couldn’t even look at her. She held me as I cried, and she did nothing but hold me for a while. I don’t know how she does it. How she can be around me, someone so broken and torn between life and death all the time, and still manage to fucking smile. How she […]
This is my story from the start http://suicideproject.org/2013/07/my-story-161/ please reaad that first before continuing down so you will understand the bits that i’ve missed out.
So you have read the beginnings and the main depth of what happened in my child/teen life. Heres some that i have missed out like my eating disorder , suicide attempt and the visions and self harm.
Im going to start off with the visions i get when i have anxiety attacks or panic attacks i haven’t told anyone what i hear, see or feeling during these episodes. Not even my psychiatrist. Well i get flash backs of the that night i got […]
(Moderators beware as this is a rule breaking plauge of destruction. Please dont take it down.)
This is my plan in its final steps in which im going to leave this horrible world. The 25th of august I leave for Britain, the 30th I die.
On the 25th im going to sussex to go to a small suicidal camp to finally end my suffering. They are going to gas me with hydrogen cianide until i pass out and die a non painful death. I have bags, a ticket and a temporary home to stay in before i die.I will  be burnt and given to the people that […]
As the title suggests this will be only my second but final post… ive struggled with suicide, depression, anxiety, and anger for too long now. tonight is is the night I have nothing to stop me. I wish it was night already so I could get this over with cause i cant stand feeling this way any longer. got drunk and pissed my one and only friend off last night…for the bes that way she wont care about me passing…even if it does im done caring i told her several occasions that im no good for her…this will be practically a year from my last […]
Tonight is the last meeting of a Suicide Survivors group that I’ve been going to for a months. Its a group for people who have survived at least one suicide attempt in the last year. I adore the group members and hope them all the best… it breaks my heart thinking that I will be abandoning them in the following weeks; Â I believe its better to disapear then to make any announcement that I will be following through with my exit plan. It fills me with sadness to imagine any of the other members doing what I will be doing to myself… I baked cupcakes […]
So how goes the day. I have recently been on holidays (May 28th to June something) and within the first two weeks of being back I was in the hospital twice. Once I admitted myself. Only stayed there for 71 hours and like 50 minutes(few minutes before my 72 hour hold was finished, and btw I went in voluntarily and they still put me on a form), the second time was a suicide attempt. I stuck my wrist into SUICIDAL EXPLICIT CONTENT. That time though I went in voluntarily and they didnt put me on a form. Odd indeed. Anyways only stayed there for about […]
I’m back on here only because I need a place to write without people I know reading everything.
by sono_libero
written by sono_libero
To the kid I know who tallies and flaunts his half-hearted suicide attempts as if they are trophies,
You disgust me. A suicide attempt is only called that because it is an attempt to commit suicide, not something to write about on popular social media sites in an attempt to gain respect or something. You haven’t even been to the hospital. Two cuts across your arm is not a suicide attempt. Eating salt and calling it “iodine” is not a suicide attempt. Jumping off your bunk bed will get you nowhere. Stop taking suicide so lightly. It makes those who are serious about it look […]
Last week I found this website and thought it might help to get all my feelings out because I kind of hold them back. Actually I hold them back a lot. For some reason I started to not sleep again and I know when I don’t get sleep things get bad. But they haven’t gotten this bad since my suicide attempt last year. I don’t know what I was doing but two days ago I just started taking some pills I had. My boyfriend could tell something was wrong and said he was coming over by the time he had gotten here I had taken […]
I feel as if im trapped in a body, that I can’t escape. I feel like I’m a failure for an unsuccessful suicide attempt. I always look back on that day and wish It worked, I cross roads without fully looking in hope ill get hit. I’m sick of putting on a happy front when I’m a mess inside. Mental illness is such cruel thing to happen to someone, and even though I hate it somehow I delve in it and some part of me wants to suffer, and I can’t understand why. I managed to keep on top of my illness for a steady […]
This is my first time posting on here, and I would like to read some first hand accounts of hospitalization after a suicide attempt, or being hospitalized for threatening to do so. I would like to know whether you feel it helped you or made you feel worse. Were you diagnosed with a mental illness and do you still want to kill yourself?
I’ll start…
Bought components for helium bag online last fall (live in a small town so it was easier to find online). I suppose I was acting a little too disconnected from others and my boyfriend caught on before I could summon the courage to […]
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