So last night i almost started crying multiple times in public, but no one noticed. i went to my old high schools band concert because i was in band so i know the majority of upperclassmen in the band. i wanted to see them perform and i missed their winter concert because of a car accident. a main reason for my going was to see him. to see the guy who made me realize someone gave a shit about me over a year ago. hes the main reason for my being alive right now and back in november i told him about my depression. hes […]
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wanted
there’s a hammer pounding on the back of her skull
spiders crawling underneath her skin
She roams this God Forsaken land
covered in scars not deep enough to fatally wound
hands curled up into fists holding her head
Trying to erase herself
The person that she loves cant even comprehend the complexity of her pain
disregarded, like always until its to late
tear stained pillows, snot nose, blood shot eyes
its like the snake of despair bit her
marking her with its venom
For everywhere she goes she snuffs out some kind of light, […]
I have an English persuasive speech due.
Not to worry, its for the 7th of April,
I’ll be dead on the 6th.
We still have to do the work. All the writing and stuff. This gives me extreme anxiety. My heart keeps racing. I’m very panicked. Practice it in front of our class, get graded on it.
Wanted to do it on Euthanasia, but its going to be legalized soon here, so whats the point in going FOR it?
I’d go against it, but what arguments can I possibly have?
I’m very stressed.
This persuasive essay thing gives me so much anxiety.
I can’t eat or sleep or think. I feel horrible.
I’d kill […]
From really young people – teenagers – who are suicidal. There seems to be a theme in that most of them have parents who they feel don’t understand, support or love them. It’s so sad. And even worse that they feel like they can’t talk to their parents about how they feel.
In this world of materialism, I had somehow forgotten how important all that was. It had seemed like all they wanted was the latest iphone, and to be in the popular group at school. It kind of gives me new hope that I can actually be a positive influence in my kids lives, although […]
is anyone else fascinated by death? I know it’s odd but I’ve never really been afraid of death. I mean, if someone swung a club at my head I’d duck on instinct, but when I think about death I’m just really curious. I would want to avoid pain and obviously there would be consequences, but I’m still fascinated. I’d love to see if I could make a good plan and carry it out effectively, I’d love to experience how it happens, I’d love to know if there’s an afterlife and what it’s like, or if there’s just nothing and I stop existing (not that I’d […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Well, I’m still here. I guess that counts for something.
Sitting here watching the snow fall. I’ve got MC on my mind. I think he has today off from work and is home. I know he won’t call, and I won’t bother him. I’m supposed to be working myself.
What’s on my mind is his wedding. It’s on schedule for mid-June and last Sunday my girl friend told me about the elaborate wedding dress his fiancé bought. Considering MC never wanted to get married again after the trauma of his first disastrous marriage, I’m curious as to what his reaction will be when he sees it. I’m still […]
I have been checking out the site for a couple weeks now, so many feeling the same way I do. I have thought about posting a couple times but really didn’t like what I had wrote. Well here goes nothing.
I was an army brat for the first six years of my sorry pathetic life. When I was four years old my father began beating me. He would come home at night and after I would say hi, let the beating begin. This went on for two years. He would whip me with a belt across my back. He would punch me in the face and […]
I have done everything i wanted to do.
I got a decent job.
Some materialistic desires.
The guy.
Money.
And repect?
Its not enough. I dont feel anything. In fact i feel worse.
Instead of climbing out of the hole im just making it deeper.
I sit here with thoughts of suicide swirling around in my head.
I don’t know if there’s a purpose to my life; why was I born.
All my life I’ve wanted to be loved; no one has ever wanted me.
I feel such loneliness, so empty inside.
I wish I could cease to exist, I don’t want to live anymore.
I hate myself and wish I was dead.
🙁
Hi SP,
It’s been a while since I posted here, but I just wanted to let you know how I’ve been doing.
You may remember a post that I put up in October called ‘About a Girl’?
Well, it turns out that this girl I’ve liked since September likes me back, and it’s one of the best feelings ever.
We’ve been on a date, and we have another one planned for this weekend. So yeah, I’m pretty happy about it.
It’s just nice to know that someone sees me as a nice person, especially when I can’t see it myself, and it’s been really nice […]
Just watched the documentary on the Golden Gate Bridge was a good documentary about suicide there was one story that stood out to me there was this one man who wanted to be a manager of a games store the day he committed suicide he got the call for the job he wanted it shows you never know what’s round the corner I hope things get better for all of us I hope soon the light will shine though the darkness I hope our path will be lit up so we can finally know where we are going
Idk what it is but I’m depressed again like I was last year, only this time I think it’s worse. I do pretty well all other months but right after that second week of february hits so do the feelings. I feel such sadness, disappointment, loneliness, and confusion and it literally sucks the life from me.
Not a single person knows this about me but I need sex to keep me sane otherwise my whole world crumbles. I’m not an addict I don’t have sex with anyone nor do I necessarily do it all the time. I’ve only been with 2 people one I was dating […]
Hi,
My name is Zyia Tenaglia, I’m 14.For the past 3 years I have been struggling . Nothing is the same anymore , I’m not wanted, people make that very clear. My mom basically told me I’m just her unpaid babysitter . I lived a happy life with my grandmom , I lived with her almost all my life , until the judge made me and my older sister go to live with my mom. Huge mistake , he thought that if he let us go live with her she would change . She never did , she got worse . Everyday I am verbally abused. Words […]
I’ve been in counseling for like a month. I thought it would help more than it has, but I guess it isn’t much of a surprise that my counselor can’t just fix for me what I haven’t been able to fix for myself. My counselor hasn’t offered diagnoses and I haven’t asked. She doesn’t know all the information, quite frankly because most of it is really embarrassing, and also because if I said I was suicidal she might tell my mom or the school. I’d rather go unchecked and kill myself than let them find out and have to explain it. And how would I explain to […]
I’ll start this post by telling you my story. I’m 19 years old and I have been depressed my whole life. I’ve always felt like I don’t belong here and I’ve wanted to kill myself ever since I can remember even though I didn’t have a good enough reason. Nevertheless, I wasn’t strong enough and I never got the courage I needed to do it mainly because I didn’t want to hurt my family especially my mom. Nonetheless, ever since this year started I feel I can’t take it anymore. I had to drop university which I loved and finally was making friends (which got […]
I’m pretty sure it was a month or 2 ago that I made a post saying that I was hopefully leaving this world and that it could very possibly be my last post. Nope. It didn’t pan out the way I would’ve wanted it to so I’m still here. Around the time I found out it wasn’t going to happen my mother took notice for once of my depression. So it was about 4 years ago that my mother moved me away from my friends and I haven’t made any since, partially due to my social anxiety but also a lack of opportunity. Anyway my […]
Can i stop talking. My words are useless. I am numb and cant love even if i wanted to or when i done before
Another day living in this disenchanted society. In society I am not enchanting. In society I have to live a certain way and look a certain way. I cannot fit into this category. I can barely live. I am turning insane. I want to drop out of this cruel life I live in vain.
I am extremely exhausted of being in this world. So much is asked of me. On the outside is nothing but me and I am nothing to me. I hate walking around pretending to be like everybody else. I hate the falseness. Society is one false sob. Every single person idolized is […]
[tw: self-harm]
i turn 21 tomorrow and feel pretty terrible about it. i didn’t want to make it to 21. i wanted to be ashes by now. i told my family i don’t want a special meal or a cake or presents, but they’re nice people so they’re insisting. i think my brother feels bad for screaming at me and basically telling me i was worthless, a few weeks ago (the first time he’s ever treated me that way…can’t say i didn’t deserve it haha). he insists on at least picking up good food. why.
i wish i was dead. i have a list of […]