Category:

Chronic Pain

My, How You Lie Lie Lie

by LiquidHuman 6/22/2020

written by LiquidHuman

You know what eats away at you after a while?

Having to lie to your family every goddamn day that you’re doing fine. Knowing they want to help you, wanting to be helped and yet not wanting help at the same time. Having to pretend that you’re not thinking of killing yourself. Seeing that you’re family is blissfully unaware of what’s coming. Having to lie to your doctor, your psychologist, your fucking therapist, that you aren’t planning on killing yourself.

Part of you is screaming, “JUST TELL THEM!” Not because you want to, but because you just don’t want to lie anymore. But you keep your mouth […]

6/22/2020 3 comments

I’m losing my mind

by cannolongertakeit 6/19/2020

written by cannolongertakeit

I don’t have many options. I know discussion of methods isn’t allowed here so I won’t get into details. But I can only jump, and there’s only one place I could do it from, and I’m afraid I’m going to land on someone because there’s an atrium below. I’m going to go crazy, I already have. I really can’t take it anymore. I hate being alive so much. All I want is a guarantee that I’ll die, and I’ll be at peace. They built a fence at the 2 popular locations in my state. So the only thing I have left is this place… but […]

6/19/2020 24 comments

My immediate family is the reason why I’m suffering from emotional numbness and depression

by Thorium 232 6/19/2020

written by Thorium 232

A few months ago I figured out why I’m suffering from emotional numbness and it is because of my parents and older brother. It all started with a chat over Xbox live with my brother who admitted to being a shitty brother for most of my childhood. At first, I didn’t know how to emotionally process it and at that moment I just wanted to change the subject and just play the game and have fun. It was only afterward that I realized why I couldn’t emotionally process what he said and it was because he was a shitty brother for most of my childhood […]

6/19/2020 6 comments

nothing

by Coracora 6/16/2020

written by Coracora

i cant its getting too much i want to finish now ill stall

6/16/2020 1 comment

Fuck this

by dampshadows59 6/4/2020

written by dampshadows59

I’m so unbelievably sick and fucking tired of this feeling. I can’t do anything right, I have no faith in myself. The world we live in is a hard fucking place, but it wouldn’t be so bad if I could just believe in myself. Confidence is a rare commodity, and without it I give up. How many times do I have to fuck up and hate myself over it? Why can’t I just realize that I’ll continue to ruin everything I have. No matter the percentage put in my shoulders, a problem radiates to the surface. I’m sick of crying because I can’t do anything. […]

6/4/2020 1 comment

I can’t take this anymore

by PanicRevelation 5/27/2020

written by PanicRevelation

I hate myself! I hate myself! Alcohol just keeps enabling me to do the worst shit but its the only thing that takes the edge off. I know im a bad person and its so fucking laughable how im still trying to convince myself im not. I keep scaring people and losing control and lashing out. I dont even want to be alive but i have to be. I have to be for other people but im just so tired and weak. I wish everyone would just stop clinging on to me so hard and let me go. I dont want to be here anymore […]

5/27/2020 1 comment

I wanted to leave this prison of a world more than anything

by Thorium 232 5/26/2020

written by Thorium 232

This isn’t a story about how I almost killed myself, but it certainly paved the way for me to experience suicidal thoughts in the future. The fall semester of 2019 for me was by far the most stressful and demoralizing period of my entire academic life up to date. If there was one good thing to come out of it, it’s that I discovered I’ve been dealing with depression and other mental issues for many years now. Never the less, this particular semester caused me to reach my breaking point where I just felt like I wasn’t good enough, that I am completely worthless, that […]

5/26/2020 3 comments

Site visitor for 5 years, this is my first post.

by ceasetoexist 5/24/2020

written by ceasetoexist

I want to start off by saying I’ve been coming on this site for 5 years now and reading all your stories and finding comfort in them. I haven’t had the urge to make an account and speak my truth till now. I feel extremely defeated by life. I am 24 and I’m ready to go. I’ve struggled with mental illness for about 13 years now and it progressively gets worse as I get older. I believe it all stemmed when I was 5, I was raped by a family remember repeatedly for 2 years. I was very young but I knew what […]

5/24/2020 22 comments

Infinite Regret

by EmbalmedHeart 5/21/2020

written by EmbalmedHeart

There are so many events that stain the soul,

That create a mental prison of infinite pain and remorse, a chasm in my mind deeper than Mariana’s trench.

How does one undo their own terrified actions wrought with the confusion of age and inappropriate exposure?

How does one reconcile all the feelings of self hatred for things they don’t understand and didn’t.

How do you live with yourself even though you attempt to define your moral compass with the utmost ethos possible.

How do you live with yourself?

How do you ever come to accept yourself as a person […]

5/21/2020 5 comments

I’m not in Hell, I feel it

by Todamnbad 5/12/2020

written by Todamnbad

Arthritis is one hell of a injury. I have had two finger surgeries if anyone has read my posts through out the community. It delivers a shockwave of pain through your nervous system. I have freak injuries. One day I woke up, nothing unusual happened, but when I woke, I was in a tremendous amount of eye pain. I lost bottom muscle of your eye, which is suppose to hold eye in your place but now it sits on top of the bone socket, and hurts like a living hell. I saw two eye doctors, no big specialist, they count diagnose me. I know for […]

5/12/2020 2 comments

If anyone want

by lovepeaceandcake 5/10/2020

written by lovepeaceandcake

I feel incredibly alone and if you too we can talk

+52 1 9841469948

5/10/2020 2 comments

Jumping Vs. Gun

by Drewski 5/8/2020

written by Drewski

Jumping has it’s allure to me. I’m even over the time spent in freefall and have probably overcome the survival instinct all together frankly.

The gun though, there’s something about the gun and it’s finality that I’m drawn closer to at this point.

The gun exit can be recorded if needed. The jump is pretty public.

I’m just looking for general feedback.

5/8/2020 5 comments

My antidepressants are working a little too much

by wearehannahbaker 5/7/2020

written by wearehannahbaker

Eveything in my life is falling apart and I can’t feel it because of fucking antidepressants.

I want to end it but I don’t feel it.

I want to cut my wrists but my body doesn’t.

I can’t even cry- it’s like I’m trapped.

5/7/2020 2 comments

Targeted with mind control technologies

by Drewski 5/6/2020

written by Drewski

Apparently I have been placed in a suicide program of some sort.

It began years ago but kind of ebbed and flowed over time but came to a dramatic and sudden head more recently, where acoustic audio and psychological torture weapons are being used on me, the same kind you hear about the military using on foreign soil.

I’ve realized I don’t have much power in the situation and the ‘perpetrators’ even offer an ‘assist’ in the suicide. Meaning, they are able to pull the trigger for you, remotely. They have demonstrated this for me. I guess that helps with some of the remaining troubles I would […]

5/6/2020 1 comment

On the Search for Meaning

by Sbilko 5/6/2020

written by Sbilko

I found this person: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Viktor_Frankl

He specialized in the psychology of depression and suicide; his project managed that not even one more student (of the widespread student suicide in Vienna) commit it during that year. He wrote on the meaning of life and humanity’s attempts to answer the question:

https://www.amazon.com/Viktor-E.-Frankl/e/B000APVZJU?ref_=dbs_p_ebk_r00_abau_000000 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Unconscious_God
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Man%27s_Search_for_Meaning

Surely this will prove invaluably useful!! I myself searched for meaning for 3 years; and I found that the question “What is the meaning of life?” to be faulty, but in the process I found the answer to all I need.

5/6/2020 4 comments

Ok, enough.

by 20andfuckedup 4/15/2020

written by 20andfuckedup

I feel like something’s eating up my brain. It’s like it has created a deep hole inside my soul. It is controlling me and my life. Sometimes, it tells me to hurt myself by my own hands while some other times, it tells me to hurt people who’ve hurt me. It just is so confusing that my mind is choked badly. I’ve lost my ability to think. And even slowly, but I’m losing myself upto an extent that I may die now. I want to die now. It has became my only wish – to die. It’s pinching and punching me. It is making me […]

4/15/2020 10 comments

“Life is a gift! Live, laugh, love! You only live once (YOLO)! Thank God! Life is beautiful!” etc etc. Well, not really. Wake up and open your eyes to reality.

by niki 4/11/2020

written by niki

Only those people who are lucky & fortunate in life who can loudly say that life is a gift. The reality is, not everyone is fortunate. In fact, most people on this planet live in pain & sufferings just barely enough to survive. And then, even if people live in the first-world developed countries like in U.S or Europe for example, there are ironically still people who are depressed, and even suicidal/commit suicide. If life is a gift, like most people nowadays keep saying, then why all those reality exist? The only answer I can think of is: it is human’s nature perhaps for (most) […]

4/11/2020 5 comments

The meaningless walk

by dampshadows59 4/9/2020

written by dampshadows59

I don’t frequent these feelings often, but when I do I’m scared. I get lost in the thought of hating everything I am. No faith for change, for adaptation. I wake up the same each day, my mindset doesn’t change. My energy comes sporadically, periodically through the day I’ll find small bursts of motivation. I know at the rate I’m going, I’ll be nothing. I’ll be nobody. Yet, with this knowledge, I still can’t get out of bed in the mornings. I don’t have the energy to brush my teeth, or take a shower. The dirt clothes have been piling up for over a month. […]

4/9/2020 5 comments

coward

by Been Here Too Long 4/8/2020

written by Been Here Too Long

Everyone wants it both ways. I’ve fucking destroyed myself to give the people I care about everything, even when it crosses my boundaries, even when it fucking killed me. What the hell am I supposed to do? I fucking drop anything, and I mean nothing to anyone I care about, and that will kill me worse. I try to do everything and that kills me, too. It’s not like I have any direction on my own, so why shouldn’t I drop everything to wholly serve those I care about? What the hell else would I do? I have nothing going for me; I’m fucking pathetic. […]

4/8/2020 0 comment

It’s been a while :3

by HauntedDoritos 4/7/2020

written by HauntedDoritos

I’ve always thought of this place as a place for people who are diagnosed. I guess that’s why I never felt like I should write here. Now I’m pretty sure I need some kind of help because I saw that I actually have written entries here.

Schoolwork overwhelms me + Im @ my parents

Started abusing some meds that lay round at my house, e.g. zolpidem, which is horrible, I’m just wobbling round the house all day. Wish I could find somewhere more xanny but I popped them all. All of this is probably because of the ecstasy I took like 3-4 weeks ago (1st time doing […]

4/7/2020 2 comments

Newer Posts

Older Posts