Category:

Chronic Pain

Options

by Mac-10toSchool 12/30/2018

written by Mac-10toSchool

Suicide is always an option for me. Here’s what I mean.

Let’s say I lose my Car Keys. When I go through my head to assess my options, my options will look like:

1. Trace your steps

2. Replace the keys

3. Kill yourself.

It’s always there for some reason, in my list of options when I’m trying to solve problems. Isnt that ridiculous!? Even when I’m not depressed it’s like that.suicide

I would say I’m only mildly depressed right now, and that I’ve been working hard to make progress. I have made progress, lots of it. But it’s still there, like this annoying little whisper. I keep having to remind myself that […]

12/30/2018 13 comments

I’m afraid, just like everyone else. That’s the issue.

by BabyBlu 12/17/2018

written by BabyBlu

I don’t know how much longer this joy will last. Hopefully until the end of the year, but I doubt it. Hey, at least I’m not completely empty… I feel like I’m just complaining for the sake of complaining, and that this isn’t real… I’ve never been diagnosed with anything, because I don’t think that it’s a big deal, or that I lie. I lie a lot. More than I should, about small things. Hell, my entire life is a goddamn lie at this point. Stuck between two choices, unable to listen to what my conflicting ideas are. I feel alone and wish I could […]

12/17/2018 0 comment

it´s been a while

by plasticflower 12/9/2018

written by plasticflower

i haven´t been here for over a year, and i really need to empty my brain, so here´s a bit of the mess that´s going on in my head

i tried to hide it more, so they wouldn´t notice. I guess I got too good at hiding it because now she thinks i´m doing so much better. And maybe I am, but it doesn´t really feel like it. I feel like soon i´ll break; and I don´t know if I can or want to stop it. Today she said, “I think you´re doing much better now. Do you still think you need to see a therapist?”. […]

12/9/2018 1 comment

Protected: Just Saying Goodbye

by jocelyn._.martinez 12/9/2018

written by jocelyn._.martinez

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

12/9/2018 0 comment

I don’t know what to do, suicide might be my only option

by kahann 12/8/2018

written by kahann

I’m a 50 year old female who has never really lived and probably never will.

Look, I know I should take responsibility for my mistakes and failings but I feel trapped. It’s like I’m in a prison and there is only one way I’m getting out and that’s death.

It all started when I was 6, that’s when my step-father started molesting me. When I was 7 I told my mother what he was doing, that was the day she started beating me. When I was 12 he wanted to do more than fondle me and pleasure himself, when I said no he got into a mood […]

12/8/2018 5 comments

Pathetic and Tired

by sansfranzdeput 11/29/2018

written by sansfranzdeput

All of me is very pathetic: I am not overweight, but am by no means strong, nor do I possess any significant measure of success or unique strength in any certain area. I work, eat- though sometimes I wish that I didn’t-, sleep, and spend the rest of the time just being lonely and writing about people that I see. It’s embarrassingly lame.

I am tired too: I don’t have anyone to just rest with. I watch porn because I’m so fracking lonely; I cry because it’s pathetic; then I pretend it didn’t happen, almost never really confronting it as an issue. I lie about it, […]

11/29/2018 5 comments

Deterioration

by AshCoveredAngel 11/28/2018

written by AshCoveredAngel

I’ve had left side flank pain on and off for four years now.

I finally got to see a GI specialist.

The specialist thinks my mental illness has caused my physical illness and pain for the past four years. That I have IBS and there’s nothing she can really do for me, and that psychiatric medication is probably my solution.

Unfortunately medication hasn’t been safe for me and no other treatments have helped me either.

I have already given mental illness the ability to make friends.

I have already given my mental illness educational opportunities.

I have given it my ability to support myself financially.

I have given […]

11/28/2018 2 comments

I Give Up

by FormerHappyGuy 11/28/2018

written by FormerHappyGuy

3 Months Ago i posted my first post here ”I Want to be Happy”.
Back in those days i told myself ”If things don’t get better by the end of this year (2018) i would end up my life”
Weeks after i wrote that post i was actually optimist, the things in my life got better, i trutly thought i would make another year. But it was just that, a delusional through.

But life beated me down.

The things that happened goes far from my control, i can’t help not even to myself, less to my family. and if it is not enough…

She found another dude, she […]

11/28/2018 1 comment

Loneliness

by PurpleCrystal 11/25/2018

written by PurpleCrystal

Sometimes I feel the most alone person in the world. No friends and no one who cares about me. My mother is a fanatic religious who doesn’t accept me as a woman and keeps insisting on treating me a way a hate. She knows I hate it and that makes me feel even more sad, but she doesn’t care. She won’t chance because of her imaginary friend. I tried so hard to be well this year, to feel better, but I keep walking in circles, always ending where I began. Last week I felt that wish to cut myself again after one year and I’m […]

11/25/2018 3 comments

I want to leave this hateful world

by Iwantoleave 11/17/2018

written by Iwantoleave

People hate me, no one likes me. When they see my face they spit on ground. I didn’t harm anyone, but i don’t know why people hate me. I dont want to live in this world. Why only bad things are happening with me. Good bye everyone.

11/17/2018 0 comment

feeling nothing

by x0zz 10/27/2018

written by x0zz

I can’t recognize myself in the mirror , have no money to buy drugs that cure me, no friends , everyone I now used me , my family used me , my family did hurrible things to me , things I can’t say , or remember , I lost my memories , I don’t remember who I was , can’t say who I am now , I have no future , all the things in my life was someone’s else plan , I never did or sayed the things I want , I always react as they want me , I could killed for stupid […]

10/27/2018 1 comment

I dont belong to this world

by Itscolourlife 10/22/2018

written by Itscolourlife

Its not me
Its me
I want me
Its not me
I hate me
Its me
I love me
Its not me

This place that I dont belong to
Where is the place I belong to
No one care about me
The good deed I did
The other receive the happiness
Me?
No one remember me
Why?
A?
A?
You dont belong here
Dont you hear me?
The hell is your place to go

You hate everyone in this world
You hate yourself
No one care about you
No one love you
You are like satan
Since a kid you are just..
Satan

Useless
Till now..

Be normal..
You […]

10/22/2018 2 comments

I’m Denial

by AshCoveredAngel 10/18/2018

written by AshCoveredAngel

I’ve struggled for years but I still have a habit of dismissing myself insisting “It’s not that bad”.

I compare myself now to the way I was when I was likely in psychosis a few years ago.

I’ve only cried 3 times today….I could have cried for hours non stop.

I’m only scoring 48/76 on depression assessments… I’ve scored 56/86 before.

I’m over eating but I could be living on nothing it cookie dough again.

I’m getting 3-5 hours of sleep a night max but I could be running on 1 or less like I have in the past.

I know I’m not “healthy” and that […]

10/18/2018 4 comments

Pain and humiliation

by SamG 10/17/2018

written by SamG

I’m over this life of mine…

I am working on ways to end my pain that I live with daily. I am slowly planning my suicide leaving no room for error because I need the attempt to work. I first of all need to draw up a will and have it legalised. That way all money from my super etc. goes to my husband for him to be able to support our children.

I can’t live with how I am feeling for much longer….just recently I have had family humiliate me and make me feel so worthless I know I am better off dead.

I can’t do this […]

10/17/2018 5 comments

I Want Different

by AshCoveredAngel 10/12/2018

written by AshCoveredAngel

I don’t want to be ‘sick’ anymore or at least well enough I can resemble the things I want to be. Who I am is not my desire.

I’d like to work but I’m beyond just pushing myself and I’ve been denied disability.

I want to be the super mom I believed in but I’m not well enough.

I want to be able to stay with my significant other and not cry or have flashbacks about things he had nothing to do with.

I want to be all love and light.

I want to be so many things but my illness stands in my way. […]

10/12/2018 0 comment

Struggling

by Old_tired_Aussie 10/10/2018

written by Old_tired_Aussie

Pain is normal and those of us experiencing chronic pain on a never ending basis know how hard it is to make friends, keep friends. Im lonely, and made a friendship, which turned out to nothing but lies. It took the edge off and gave me a chance to breathe. Now more lies has even shattered the way i would ignore everything just because I was so desperate for company and the distraction.now it’s over i’m finding the pain is worse, my whole body has tightened up, I grit my teeth so hard I break them. I want to give up on this shit life […]

10/10/2018 4 comments

Am I selfish.?

by Virus.Found 10/7/2018

written by Virus.Found

I can not get over it, that things will never be fair. I’m too sensitive about everything. I’m in chronic pain and Doctors could never help me. Or maybe I think I just couldn’t help myself. For 9 years I’m into this Depression and it just got worse. It started early in school, that I realized that something was not right. About me and the tiring reality to go to school everyday. Other Kids seemed so careless. I came too late everyday. It started with 5 Minutes, then 10, then 30 and sometimes I missed the first period. I think I must be a broken […]

10/7/2018 1 comment

All I Want

by SuzieSalmon 10/7/2018

written by SuzieSalmon

My mindset hasn’t changed since January, I still envision myself not existing anymore but I’ve gained more sorrow because I’m around my family more. It gives me guilt, makes me feel so selfish. For once I just wish I could envision being where I feel is home and building the life I’ve missed out on. I wish there was nothing wrong with me and I wish I was strong enough for my family and for my husband. I want to be better. Its almost, December.

10/7/2018 3 comments

Numb

by Undecided13 10/6/2018

written by Undecided13

I’m in that point of life when I could no longer feel the sadness, no longer feel the pain. I could no longer feel anything. Its like I’m just numb. Just drifting into the darkness that had broken me more times that I could count. So much pain, I wished for it all to disappear. I wanted to escape, because I am too much a coward to face it. I guess I got my wish, then.

10/6/2018 1 comment

no way out

by AKidWithAName 10/6/2018

written by AKidWithAName

She was drunk. Doesn’t that make it my fault? She was raped before. That’s the only reason she did it. She wouldn’t have done it to me if it wasn’t done to her. She was too drunk to know what she was doing and it wasn’t her fault, right? And God will condemn me for adultery and homosexuality. She’s taken any chance of heaven away from me. She stripped me of any hope for a future. There is nothing after this. Not even death could let me escape this hell. It’s never going to end and I am going to continue to be tortured by […]

10/6/2018 8 comments

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