For non-suicidal topics that are fun, entertaining or informative.
Targeting down unwanted behavior, which might have been caused by extreme environments. Making a behavioral change, to resolve those conflicts.
Lately, 1) I have been fed up with making unsocial statements or just being indelicate in social environment. I also have been fed up with 2) my lack of sleep.
First step, targeting the problems and its reasons; I feel like it is an outcome of physical state. or is it?
Let’s look further:
1). Being socially indelicate – why? Because I talk fast. is it all ? No. let’s look further; I ACT quickly probably due to PTSD, and other PAST environments that I have been in, in which I had to ACT QUICKLY, and be PASSIVE. I am also feeling “lonely” because I notice way more people than they notice me [due to the fact that I am ALWAYS ALERT TO THE ENVIRONMENT due PTSD]. Feeling lonely -> increase pressure to socials -> increase anxiety and defects in the process. Repeats it self….
2). Why I cant fall asleep quick? because I’m always sitting on the lookout, and I also feel extremely lonely [also related on being always alert, noticing many people with out being able to say to them that I’m in anxiety]. —there is more but I will pass on making further analysis—.
Now, second step: Making behaviroal changes:
1). Calming myself with thoughts and other well known techniques [NON DRUGS]. Practicing out loud with mirror and others. Experiencing more socially stable conversation, in which I take an ACTIVE role, speaks sometimes TOO SLOW, so I can experience a different sort of awkwardness – the sort of which I’m AFRAID OF. (then I will learn that it is not bad, and will feel more CALM).
In addition, every time I feel lonely and unwanted, to let my thoughts go over and away, take a few moments to rest and enjoy the beautiful day around.
2). small opening: until now I had to sleep with a played TV show or other thing, to help me run away from my thoughts. My solution is putting a 15minutes music [set music on phone to close in 15 minutes] and to play out a calming music [maybe change it every once in a while], think about my goals, my means, how I will change other unwanted behaviors.
In conclusion, with writing this, I have thought about ways that I think fit for me to cope with my problems, and I offered myself BEHAVIORAL SOLUTIONS for BEHAVIORAL PROBLEMS. It is important to practice them. I hope to succeed, and will updated later.
As for usual, if you thought this was worth reading, please comment, tell me what you think, if you have advices, I would love to know. I am hear to gain help and to overcome my problems. I want to cope with my life, and find better ways to heal the wounds.
Stay strong, be brave,
p.s. cliped wing I tried sending you emails, didnt got response. Maybe you can send me an email? update me that you have sent one, so I can check maybe there is an auto spam block for some reason.