General

Make me forget, I can’t live with the memories anymore.
I don’t want to remember.

Is there anyone who has managed to eliminate memories so horrible that you can not live with them?

well, i’m 15 now. last year was probably the hardest year f0r me & my family though,

my mom went through a rough divorce. her 5th. that led to us losing our house, friends, & dog. she got a dui in the process & attempted suicide 3 times.. a month after my best friend hung himself in the bathroom & i got pregnant, i had a miscarriage & the boy left me thats when i got a cocaine addiction i asked everyone and anyone i could for help weather it was teachers, family members, doctors. no one helped, no one saw anything wrong, on the surface […]

For all those that are on the edge and trying one last ditched effort to hang on by being here….let me tell you what I did and why. I’m in a controlling loveless marriage…have been for 32 years now. I’ve been beaten, belittled, told I was worthless as a woman. I got so low that I just wanted to go to sleep and never wake up so that I wouldn’t have to feel this way ever again. So I took 2 bottles of benzodiazapan which I’d been saving for the moment, downed it with a bottle of wine, kissed my two little kids goodbye, climbed […]

I’ve read some of the posts here and I feel so helpless for some people. We all have our hard times I know. I’m going thru another one now but jeez guys….don’t give up. I did it once before and really feel like doing it again now. Life is shit sometimes. We get so bogged down by negativity and stupid people that sometimes we forget to have a bit of strength to stand up for ourselves. I came on here to announce to the world that I was going to do it…the saddness gets to me sometimes and I think they’ll be no way out…but […]

I sat here for thirty minutes trying to think of the perfect note to write. The perfect way to say my peace. I came up with nothing. There is honestly nothing left to say. I will kill myself tonight on October 19, 2010. All because of what happened October 16, 2010. I’m so sorry Monti. I love you.

I’m a fourteen year old female teen. I hate doctors and counselors and people in general. I have felt depressed, hated, and like a robot- going through life only doing what I think should happen, but not feeling anything- since I can remember. I must fake happiness, and… Well, recently I’ve been asking my only two friends weird questions.
What they would do if I died, killed myself, or was killed.
What I would have to do to make them hate me more than anything else.
Things like that.
I’m so messed up, and used to being lied to- mostly from myself- by being forced […]

I’m feeling a sudden fear of dying lately. And I don’t like it.
One thing is to feel all the excruciating pain and wish the death. Another thing is to feel the excruciating pain and still feel the awful fear of dying.

Today the word is fear.

I want to be loved. But then I think about the awful things that could happen to the person I love including death. Would be unbearable.

Well, everything in life at some point would be unbearable. I fear the unbearable.

I don’t want to feel it. I never wanted to feel it. But now I fear death. Maybe it’s not fear, […]

Don’t you think you could have found a better site if you just wanted to complain about your minor problems? (g/f break up, someone doesn’t like you, you just feel this way, who knows..) YOU are not suicidal, if you are you need therapy.
Does this piss anybody else off?? what kind of shat is that?! i take it as an insult.
For instance ‘morbid’ who i would rather rename as self centered ass’ Spams his meaningless story 4x over everyone else. I go ahead and read it (maybe it deserves 4x the attention!) No not at all infact he goes on about how […]

There was a guy here who said there were two options: (i agree)

1. theres a god

2. everything just started to exsist.

It`s not very complicated then. Either start beliving in some higher power. Halleluja, and whatnot. ..I wish i had that.- Or theres that other option, ur in a circle of shit.

Me- im dust.

Fuck this.

“I’m bored with it all “was winston churhill’s last words before he died, I dont need to save the world to realize how boring and sick it is, ive had my share.

you know, since the first day i remember, as far as memory stretches, not one day has passed that i didnt remind myself that tomorrow, is gonna be a better day, I’m 24 now, and I guess I finally figured, its not.

Maybe its the sense of belonging that I miss, people find it wierd, i was raised in a perfect family, in a perfect environment, good grades, good schools, good job, if you met […]

Just a note this is not why i am suicidal but it’s just something that i haven’t told many people and it has bothered me for a really long time.

My mom and her partner (i say partner because she is a woman also) had an std apparently, this was back when i was a teenager i am 23 now but i only found out that i had an std awhile ago after seeing numerous doctors for years and them only seeing inflamed urination.

It turns out that my mother or her partner had an std when i was about 15-16 and we had shared the same […]

I’m like many on here in that I contemplate and plan my suicide often but don’t actually go through with it. I’ve had a couple of failed attempts and close calls but in the end my instinct to live (and some bad luck) keeps winning out. I’m thinking now about using Nike’s slogan of “Just do it” and using a shotgun in two days regardless of how I feel at the moment. I really don’t have anything worth living for (especially a rather bleak future) and just doing it even if I’m afraid or having second thoughts is the most *logical* course of action.

Does my […]

Things are getting so hard lately. I’m only 17, and a senior in high school.
I could have it a lot worse right now. But I don’t. I could be abused and hit and unloved by people close to me but I’m not. I just feel so alone. I just have no one at all.
I feel like I will never find someone for me in the world. I lost my virginity when I was 14. I regret it so much.
Since then, I have had sex with 5 guys. All of them I had feelings for, and all of them who screwed me over […]

What scares me the most is that after all of these years, I take a rather pragmatic approach to determining the value of my life.  I am 29 years old and will turn 30 in a couple of months.

My financial situation worsened as a result of bad familial circumstances.  I no longer see a way out.  It seems life will always be a constant struggle because of the long-term impact of my choices.  I am so tired of struggling that I cannot justify choosing a lifetime of struggle, which is more than likely my future.

Throughout my 20s I lived with abusive alcoholics.  I still live […]

I won’t go into detail as to what brought me to seriously consider suicide lately,  save to say a poster in a hospital room helped me to visually gauge my pain:

http://www.carolinashospital.com/_img/patient-info/reference-library/pain_chart.gif

Though meant to gauge physical pain, I used it to guage my emotional pain….and I was right there…between numbers 9 & 10.

(Matter of fact – I envisioned a red zone in between those two numbers and entitled it:  “The Danger Zone.”)

It scared me.  Scared me because, though many times in the past I have contemplated suicide….it was never quite to this serious, profound degree and this scared me.  Scared me enough to know that I […]

Human existence is permeated with fear and ignorance that drives the fiction on which society bases itself.

The overwhelming majority of deluded co-dependent sheep has flooded the world with needless regulation that tramples any semblance of freedom. American freedom extends to religion and anyone willing and able to pay for more freedom. The individual is nothing but a name and a number to be herded.

I find it to be exceedingly frustrating to exist among these misguided fools. Their zealotry is a mental illness; an epidemic long gone out of control.

I’m hoping by writing this maybe some of my feelings can become a bit clearer.  Maybe someone wiser than myself will shed a bit of light on how I’m feeling and provide a different perspective.  But then again maybe  not.  I’m a pretty darn rational person and I find myself considering suicide more and more often.  Though, I just can’t see myself doing that to my remaining family.  So I’m not really at risk, just a miserable person.  I don’t honestly see things changing.  Things that we can control, we can change.  Things we don’t control, we can’t change.

Obviously, someone always has it worse, right?  […]