General

I hate myself so much. Im a 100 percent conscious about the things i have to change about my attitude, life and relationships. I know perfectly how things have to get done to be finally happy. But i just can’t change. Changing is so difficult for me. Thats the reason i hate myself. I make people suffer so badly and i can’t control it. Im a ugly,slefish and ungreatful woman who only thinks about herself. I treat my parents so badly. I make them suffer a lot and thats so so unfair! They give me everything and im still so ungreatful. I make my boyfriend […]

“I trusted you” she weeped, holding her chest her knees hit the ground. Her heart stung as it shattered into pieces. She could feel each shard pierce her deeper and deeper. The blood seeping through her snowy white shirt. Staining it a crimson red. “I trusted you” she repeated before laying down in a pool of blood to take her final breath.

Honestly I feel I could have done better but I can’t quite get it today. Oh well maybe I’ll try to rewrite it with more details at a later date.

why did i do this??? i drank too much again and i fucked up. i fucked up so hard. i feel so shitty; why cant i just control my impusles.

i just begged a friend to leave me but the  i said iw anted her to stay; i dont wanna be selfish but i dont wanna be alone

so I took a tiny break and I’m actually good, I’m feeling pretty hopeful. I’ve been buzzed the past few nights because my ma has brought home this homemade beer, it’s fucking amazing. But I realized that alcohol is actually pretty cool if I don’t overdue it lmao. I feel good as hell and it’s dope asf not feeling depressed every night.

I go to the therapists Sept 10th. She’s going to fill out a form so I can go see a psychiatrist. After that I’m going to get my diagnosis. If it’s as bad as I think it is I’m gonna drop everything and say I can’t be helped. I hope it goes well but I have my doubts. We’ll see.

I need to kill myself before summer. And it’s all because of fucking cutting. Like yes I want to kill myself real bad but it’s different now. Because now it’s not just a want it’s a need too. And there’s a time frame on it and I’m running out of time. It doesn’t fucking help that I’m sitting here fucking dripping with blood either but I figure fuck it. I’m gonna die before anyone sees the destruction I’ve made of my body. I need to go and I need to go fast. 

the best part of about dying is that u don’t have to worry about nothing anymore. u dont have to worry about bills, about being late for work, dealing with snorty people; the list goes on. u are just lying there sleeping peacefully for eternity. never to be bothered again 🙂

Hey guys. I´ve got way too much time on my hands. I mean technically I should be busy but I am procrastinating anyway so I thought I could at least watch something interesting instead of just meaninglessly playing video games 24/7.

I am not okay, I spend way too much time crying…. I hate this.

On my 22nd birthday I made a promise to myself, I said that this was it, I refused to have another birthday as somebody else.

Fast forward a few months I went back to the way things had always been and days started to blur into each other and I even forgot my own age.

22 years of a life I desperately thought I needed to forget when in reality I just needed to let go.

But it’s finally happening, I won’t give up this time.

I can not.

I am done letting fear dictate my future.

Letting it hold me back from a real life, a chance of happiness.

No more […]

Which type of pain do you withstand better: physical or emotional?

i want to stop thinking.

my opinions, my thoughts, they disgust me more than anything in life. i know that i didnt say anything wrong, but i can’t stand my opinions, my thoughts, the way i speak. i’m pressing the unsend button but internet won’t let it go back. it was just a simple “bro what thats crazy”but i hate the sentence, i hate how its written by me, i shouldnt have sent it, i shouldnt have published this post either, i forgot to use ‘ in shouldnt, holy fuck i can’t stand the way i do things. if i were anyone else i would come […]

i have 2 friends. one i dont talk to anymore but i will never forget. he moved away when we were in school together. but thats aside the point. my bf at the time had betrayed me. he told our friends about my depression. i didnt want to here it. i didnt want to be there. so i walked away. my friend came running after me. i knew he was there but i didnt turn around. i didnt want to hear it. he grabbed me by the shoulder and spun me around. he hugged me and then help me at arms reach with his hands […]

I just have a lot of anger issues,  The Medication does greatly help I take Depakote i also take lexapro and some other one and lorazapam, I just want to fuck up some people, But i already been to jail a few times and it aint worth it there trash , there my past , and im so so so so above them …………………………….. gotta stay focused

Im just filthy depressed man, im a 28 year old decent looking girl from california. I turn 29 in Novemeber. Theres a lot to my background story BUt I have been taking Anti=psychotic meds and depression meds for about a year and a half now ,I have took them when I was younger I also currently receive disability insurance with the state Many problems Right I now I live with fam ,I have three duis I just got out of jail in Feb, Many things ill eventually share more later but had to spill this now !

“However mean your life is, meet it and live it; do not shun it and call it hard names. It is not so bad as you are. It looks poorest when you are richest. The fault-finder will find faults even in paradise. Love your life, poor as it is. You may perhaps have some pleasant, thrilling, glorious hours, even in a poorhouse. The setting sun is reflected from the windows of the almshouse as brightly as from the rich man’s abode; the snow melts before its door as early in the spring. I do not see but a quiet mind may live as contentedly there, […]

sucked up and dry ,enough

Four fucking attempts in three fucking years. That was something!! Now what? The old me is just a pathetic alcoholic, with zero real attempts in ten years, wishing to eventually get sick and die. I truly hate myself.