It’s a constant continuous fail, it is breaking me apart. It is getting extreme difficult day by day to manage myself. Do I deserve this, I ask this question often. The idea of god has gone out of my mind. He is not listening to my prayers, I ask the simple livelihood necessities and I’m still devoid of it even after all my efforts.
It’s the constant failures , that’s pushing me down. People say everyone has different timeline and things happen according to that. But my timeline is soo full of sadness ,that it is making me impossible to wait in my timeline.
I was a decent bright student, now I’m jobless. I’m standing in a place where I have to start from a scratch. My dreams are shattered. My sexuality is unclear. I’m a coward.
I struggle everyday, a small happiness always comes with a wrap of sadness. I accepted my life as it is. But when I stand in a position where I can’t even earn my own bread even after putting all my efforts into it.
My life has no meaning, no purpose, not even a slight feel of satisfaction. There is no point to live this life. My family loves me, it takes sometime for them to accept my reality. I just wanted peaceful life. I prayed for small things. I helped others. I put my efforts. I never use others for my comfort. Dayafterday it’s the same. Happiness fails