Im so depressed right now
And no one care about me
No one appreciate my existence
Should I just runaway from home for a few days?
So I can think whay i really want to do in my life
And my parents can think what they need to think about
Im stuck and I realy dont have a will to live anymore
Help me guys..
What should i do??
I will just runaway for some days and going back home again
I think with this plan all of us can think properly and not stuck here forever
I need a place to be alone and […]
Rants
A note to anyone who has no experiance in feeling suicidal. It always shocks me when some people say they have never felt this way. For me, it is summed up as this:
Just because someone takes their life before you are prepared to lose them does not mean that they went before their time. Neither does it mean that they were in any way selfish. It simply means that they are not suffering anymore and the pain you are feeling now may never even scratch the surface of what they had to endure for probably longer than you will ever know. They are at peace […]
People look at us like a pitiful person
Sometimes they call us crazy
Then they laughing at us
Make a joke of our pain
When we cry
We cant tell anyone
Cause we are afraid of how their eyes change
The way they look at us will change
We make war with our mind
We want to give our soul away
And we stuck there
With a plain look
And feel bored
How we ended up here
And how we cant get out
Anymore
Who to blame
Probably ourself
Take me home
For us expecially myself with depression
I just
want
the pain
to stop.
My friend A_____ turned 50 last year. I organized a nice little birthday gathering for him, which was especially meaningful for everyone since he’s battling mantle cell lymphoma (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mantle_cell_lymphoma), and optimistically has another five years to live.
I’ve known A_____ for at least five years. I certainly considered him a friend before his cancer diagnosis several years ago, and as soon as I knew what he was facing, I promised myself that whatever support he needed, I would always be there for him.
We’ve always had a very easygoing, normal friendship. He has always treated me with nothing but […]
I resent my parents so much, my dad is a bad person, hateful, judgemental, ignorant, arrogant, racist, narcissistic, a piece of work. I can’t wait for him to be dead. When that time comes I will feel like a huge burden have been lifted. I will no longer will have to pretend to care or listen to his idiocracies. One less person I have to pretend to care about. There are just not enough people in my family that I care for, and that is sad. I honestly dislike most of them, they were extremely mean to me and my sibling growing up, they were […]
It feels so lonely right now. I’m at work, have a family, people around me and yet I feel alone, so alone. Tired of living, which it is become more of a chore than a joy. I want to go to sleep and never wake up again, never.
don’t go if you are not sure she said
but i’m never sure
i’m never sure of what is there tomorrow
if there is any tomorrow
i am replaceable
“no you are not”
maybe the memory are not
but the feeling is
the feeling you have on me
you can have on someone else
so i am replaceable
i dont belong here
someone else will take my place
someone better
i mean nothing to me
i’ve got to leave soon
so don’t make it more difficult
ive loved you kissed you, hated you
still im here
but i wish im not
i wanted to stay for you
i still do
but its too much
love.li
Why is it that I have to stay alive because of others? what about me? why should I continue to suffer just so others won’t be hurt? it is so unfair that people think that suicide is a selfish act because that person didn’t think of their love ones. But what about the person that commited suicide? should had they continue the heavy burden that comes from being alive? It makes me mad that I can’t leave this world because my love ones will feel guilty or mad about me being gone by choice.
When I become suicidal, I become really angry since I can’t leave […]
The infinite void outside this planet is so perfect and sublime precisely because its limitless. How silly of me for seeking perfection all the while being trapped within a limited body.
Truly the best of all existence is one that does not exist. They can never point me out at my grave because the chunks of meat being feasted upon by maggots down there are not the person they define. That person is indefinite – nowhere and everywhere at the same time.
The dead of all time are free. They’re above the mediocrity of existence and they’re infinite like the universe. I’m just wasting my time here […]
I got fired from my job. Some randome guy started yelling racial slurs at me and yelles “you fucking *****” over and over because he came into the store 2 minutes before closing and we had nothing left to sell. Something broke inside me and I swore at him. I was immediately told to take 2weeks of unpaid leave. Its now been 3 weeks and my bosses havent responded.
My only friends were at that job. Ive been there for 3 years and now. Poof. My boyfriend was at that job. We’ve been together for almost 2 years now. We just got into a fight […]
I can’t sleep. Thoughts are swarming round my head. I keep swatting them away, but they keep coming back. It’s been like this for months now. The thoughts come at night. When all I want to do is sleep. But I’m always afraid. Every fucking hour of every damn day.
I just want to die. Finally drop dead and let the thoughts and anxieties drop dead with me. It doesn’t matter what anyone says. Life is not worth the pain I constantly feel.
If I can’t die, I at least want to sleep.
It’s been two years since I’ve looked at this website. But today, and lately, for a while.. I’ve been thinking about how it’d be if I wasn’t here. It’s not like anybody would notice I’m gone. I lost custody of my daughter for having an eating disorder. I lost my family for failing at treatment. I lost myself trying to recover and pretending that I’m okay. And now I’m left with nothing and nobody and I’m just done. I want to die. I want to be alone forever and not have to eat or drink water or move or think or cry. I wish I […]
Alright. Time to get this off my chest. Since I’ve been a kid, my parents haven’t been the nicest. They both struggled with alcohol before they had me and many would say my dad acts like a dry drunk. He has anger issues, and its scary sometimes. I’m 16 now, and I’m still scared of my dad. Just today he punched my brother in the face because my brother had a smart alec tone. All I can do is just let it happen. I don’t see my dad often because he works in New Jersey and I live in Georgia, so I guess that’s a […]
and the best thing is you probably wouldnt even know that i died you’d just probably try to contact me and figure im an asshole who moved on
I hate this, I hate being alone and waking up and knowing this person doesn’t want me and that I’m such a fuckup and I can’t talk to anyone about how much I just want to be dead without them calling 911 on me, no one to watch over me it’s just taking so much for me right now just to not end it all because nobody fucking cares they all just want to ruin my future and put me in a hospital, they don’t make you better they just make you numb. I have to suppress all my fucking feelings so I don’t fucking […]
hey there. Guess I’m just another newbie. I just want to explain myself and have someone understand. Usually, I distract myself with youtube, video games, and occasionally people. But there are always those times when everything is boring, and things people said hurt. I’m pathetic. My family loves me so much but I do nothing absolutely nothing to deserve their love. I’m terribly selfish, I’m so lazy, all I do is mope all day like an ungrateful pig. I deserve to feel terrible. I only make things harder for them. Every day, I can’t help but think. So many opportunities to die. Knife, car, bridge, […]
hello. I am new to this website, so I apologize if I screw something up in writing this..
I’m 23ish, and still living with one of my parents. I’ve had depression and anxiety for around 9 years now, and I still haven’t managed to find solid footing. not much has helped manage the symptoms. I’ve tried different medication, different therapies, and even some illegal/legal drugs to try to mitigate it. the three things that have helped me the most thus far, has been my dog, pot and coffee. I’m not thrilled about being in a cycle of coffee and pot everyday, but it gets me up […]
I just prayed for my death tonight.
I did this a few times before. I won’t say I’m extremely religious, but I do believe someone is out there. It’s comforting sometimes. However, it wouldn’t bother me too much if I crossed to the other side and was just met with a blank emptiness. Honestly, the eternal quiet would be a good change of pace. So whether I’m proven wrong or right, as long as I get to rest in peace, that’s fine with me.
As for the reason I prayed for my death, let’s just say I’m terrified. I’ve been low key terrified for months now about […]
I want to go mute. I want to stop talking. It would make my life so much easier to just shut up, stop talking, and never say a thing again.
Well, in retrospect it wouldn’t. I wouldn’t be able to speak my mind, say my emotions, or show my feelings without learning another language made of hands.
I dunno what this is for. Maybe to ask for people to help me go mute. Maybe to get it off my mind. I just don’t know.
I’d like some advice on how to just… Never speak again.
And before you go off about how it’s such a bad idea; […]
Look at me from the outside and tell me, “she has nothing to be sad about, her life is great!” and I say, “step inside my mind for a day and tell me the same thing tomorrow” You cant.. because living in the turmoil, anxiety, depression, bi-polar, obsessive brain that is mine will make you be happy you live in your own head. I cant even remember the last time I felt genuine happiness, and its getting pretty frustrating to wake up and hurt all the time. I want nothing more than to feel okay, to not feel anguish or suicidal. Just for one stinking […]