Hello?
Is anybody out there?
Can anybody hear me?
I’m screaming for help
Please help me
I can’t see anything
I don’t know where I am
I’m just surrounded by darkness
Help me find myself because as time goes by I feel more lost
Rants
People can’t seem to understand when I tell them that 95% of my time on this earth has been suffering or painful.
Yes there are good times and good friends but they are so few and far between it’s just painful to continue. I’m pretty sure I have major depression, but without any money or healthcare coverage I can’t get it diagnosed, and honestly I really don’t care enough to try anymore.
Also lost my job in 2014, lost my health care coverage, and was rejected for unemployment or assistance of any kind. I had to sell the house, most of my belongings, and burn all of […]
the one thing i literally cannot stand is when i try to reach out or vent or share my story people make it about themselves literally nothing can ever be about me i have to beg my parents to buy me things like food and soap and shoes and i have to beg them to take me to the doctor or get me school supplies if i ever reach out to people they start talking about their own shit and it’s really fucking invalidating and doesn’t help me at all nobody has lived my life nobody has been through the exact same situations i don’t […]
im trying to get better but i can’t when every god damn thing is about you im trying to get better but i can’t when every god damn thing is about you im trying to get better but i can’t when every god damn thing is about you im trying to get better but i can’t when every god damn thing is about you im trying to get better but i can’t when every god damn thing is about you im trying to get better but i can’t when every god damn thing is about you
Back in High School, there was this girl that i like, like A LOT or should i say I LOVE HER. She’s pretty good looking, athletic and the coolest girl that i know but she was out of my league, that’s the problem. I’m this skinny not good looking guy. Like I’m the complete definition of a NERD. But i didn’t care. I had to gather all this guts to prove to her that I can be the GUY for her. I want her to like me. I heard she had a boyfriend and then they broke up. I know it was a good opportunity […]
im not feeling too good not sure if it’s even worth it to mention i wrote a suicide note about a week ago it said if i finish all of my courses i’ll go ahead and kill myself so just in case it doesn’t work i can still graduate high school it said my abusive dysfunctional horrible family makes me so depressed that i want to take my own life and have for nearly the past 5 years i don’t even care about living to my 17th birthday because i can barely handle today how can i manage making it 2 more months i feel […]
i wonder why life isn’t fair i wonder if this is what i deserve i wonder if my happiness is too much to ask for i wonder if my sanity is unattainable i wonder if you ever wanted me i wonder if you ever loved me i wonder if you were ever proud of me i wonder if you ever saw me as a person not a problem i wonder why you went to bed after i sobbed to you on the phone i wonder why my life sucks i wonder why i am like this i wonder why i can’t be grateful for things […]
Hi,
I suppose I’m new here… or not really… I’ve been on this site on and off for a couple of years maybe. It is today that I do more than read, though…
It is today that I can’t go on, silent… I’m breaking, and hurting, and the worst of all is that it is not me who is hurt. I’m hurting others.
The same others that take care of me. The same others that care for me. The same others that choose to love me. Hurt.
My life is falling apart and it is my closest that are taking the shrapnels… I can’t take it anymore… I’m a […]
Another day. I made it. Everything’s as usual. Some things sucks but some are getting better. I’m just hoping that i would at some point would feel different than i was yesterday. Like a happy story in some books or movies. I’m trying to be like i’m not a sad story. I mean, there were moments that i felt that i succeeded but at the end of the day, all came back. When i lay down in bed, these thoughts and feelings haunt me. I didn’t know what to do. So here i am. Writing this and hoping that somewhere someone is feeling the same […]
I’m sorry… I’m sorry to everybody that I don’t have enough strength to get through everything anymore. I’m sorry that I’m hurting and need it to stop and there is only one way for that to happen. I’m sorry for being “selfish”, although I have never seen it that way. As much as I might try to blame this on my parents, my school, my work or my friends, it’s nobody’s fault but my own for letting myself live in such mental agony that I can no longer deal with.
First of all, I need to make sure that my beautiful cat is looked […]
Been thinking a lot lately. It’s like I’m a stranger in my own mind and my thoughts are just flowing and i can’t control it. I can’t even sleep till it’s 4 am. Why? Cos I’m not okay. I guess I’ve never been okay. I just pretend to be okay to feel that I’m okay. Fake it till you make it as they say. But how long? Cos no one dared to notice. No one sees me like really see me. But it’s okay. It’s okay. I’m okay.
She took a deep breath,
She counted to three,
A picture in her head,
Of who they wanted her to be.
They wanted her to be normal,
Happy and kind.
They never thought,
That this girl would be blind.
Not blind by meaning,
But blind in the heart.
Blinded by darkness,
Blinded by dark.
She walks around lifeless,
Her heart is beating but she feels dead.
A walking corpse.
She is lost inside her heart.
Things have no meaning,
At least not anymore.
She was not how she was once before.
She is one of the livings,
But one of the deads.
A part of her is missing.
She hangs […]
I lay here hopelessly upon my bed
where words seem to fall yet,
they never seem to leave my head
where I sit behind a colourless screen and constantly keep falling in and out of a bad dream.
The net I cast to set me free only ended up tying me up,
threatening to snap at the feel of a touch,
an emotion which is all controlled by the only constant friend,
who whispers in my ears and slowly cripples my self-esteem.
Is this the end?
It feels like I’m dying,
the comfort of my friends only seems to hurt me.
It hurts me to […]
I been feeling like nothing is real all the time lately, i never had any frens and was disliked by people for being too serious all my life. My attempts to improve ended up here. Been trying to form a relationship with a guy I met online but still haven’t met in person. He has stopped responding to me and i think i said something wrong somehow.
I’m stuck at a shitty 3rd shift manual labor job and too scared to quit.
I was watching a video of people answering this question and id wish someone would ask me this, but id like to answer anyways. Im smiling, breathing, laughing with everyone around. but how am I really when I wake up each morning and as I lie in my bed before going to sleep. with all the thoughts running through my mind.
im almost nineteen. as I get older each year I realize more and more that I don’t know what I actually want to do. I don’t know what my future holds or what ill end up doing. I have these goals and dreams, I want […]
‘Where are we, exactly?’
Simple inquiry but no answer.
So, let’s just keep distracting ourselves with whatever, in order to avoid being bewildered out of our wits by the reality of our existence. Let’s just live it out, goddamit. Study and work. Succeed and breed. Love and laugh. Enjoy the ride while we can. And this and that.
Wait, but that brings up another question- Why? Again, no answer.
So, let’s just fucking die. Or whatever.
Does the sadness ever end?
I’m so empty so weak and tired
Things probably never get better do they?
On the surface my life seems perfect. I have a job, a car, so called friends, and I’m about to finish my degree in finance.
Yet despite all this I still want to die.
Here’s why.
I guess the core trauma started when I was 7 and my parents got divorced. (there were many others)
Life before that was perfect and I distinctly remember my parents sitting me down
and telling me I have nothing to worry about and that they promise they won’t divorce.
They divorced the next day and my life spiraled out of control.
My dad turned into a religious nut and […]
If I showed my true colors, what would society think?
Would they laugh, show pity, or read the ink?
I’m exhausted from smiling every single day
When I know the pain won’t just go away.
Every night I cannot sleep
Because my thoughts run so deep.
They went out for a stroll
But got sucked into a black hole.
My focus is no longer there, anywhere.
I don’t know why I’m like this, I swear.
It seems like I’m just well-dressed.
That just means how much I’m stressed.
My friends all laugh and hang around.
You don’t need water to be drowned.
This darkness beneath consumes my mind.
It’s like I’m living […]
I know compared to what some of the other stuff people have said, this might be, “lame”, but I have been at such a low point in my life lately and I need somebody’s help. I hate it at home. I hate my family. If you’re wondering why, it’s because I feel like I can’t have a normal life. I live in a strict household, I never feel love no matter how much times my parents say it to me because their words are hollow to me. Actions speak louder than words, and I have been taken granted by everyone around me. Sometimes I feel […]