It’s about to happen. I can feel it within me. The next phase is about to commence. I feel a great ache for growth. All the things i couldn’t do. All the things i didn’t do right in the past put me into a paralysis as soon as high school ended. And for 3 years time has just kinda went on its own. I feel like I’ve watched myself go through these past years in 3rd person view….almost as if i was in auto-pilot. Emptiness from realizing that things could have been better had i just not been so depressed. If i could have just […]
Category:
Stories of Hope
I am here. Simply as it is that. For few months, I was thinking that nothing is truly last. I lost someone, a good friend who I care and love very much. The last person, I would expect to lose. It takes me a while for me to recover from that loss. I didn’t want to believe it is my loss. Now I accept it happens to me and it does not matter if I deserve it or not. I simply lost someone and it affects my life in good and bad ways. I still have hard time to look at something I love such […]
Hi there, I’ve probably had suicidal thoughts for a little over half of my lifetime, but it has always been more of an academic debate for me, I would think about what my family would do without me, how my friends would feel, and I know I couldn’t go through with it. I don’t know why I never killed myself, I never really had any reason to stay alive, I wasn’t exactly the most promising kid I knew, I’m not athletic, I’m awkward as hell, and I’m not even that attractive…
And I had every reason to do it…
My stepdad was abusive, and made me […]
In the last month, I felt on a breaking point. I opened this site because I had to write, for my own mental health. I had to put it all out. for fuck sake.
The untold story by many suicide attempts (and survivors) is what pushed them. Most of them (***) are talking about miss understanding the reality itself. I wish to ask them – how can you understand a reality where you have been the victim of abuse? How can you explain to yourself ” oh everything can be perfect” when each day is just you avoiding the damage?
I want to post here in this […]
Hi guys its goooodguyyy!:D
i know i said that i won’t be back until i do the exam. but i just checked sp i thought maybe its good if i talk about the way i was doing these months.
yeah i said i was trying to make a difference and a change in me and my life and since then i have failed 23 times(today is counted). i have tried and failed,tried and failed:D. well, i know im not perfect but i am forgiving, i may not be where i should be but im making progress, im moving forward im not where i used to be 🙂
since […]
Hey you. You can still live that way. Living with a heavy heart, a chaotic mind, that’s fine. You can use it as your strength. Being like that pushes yourself to be better. You’re an artist. You can let out your demons in your drawings. You can draw your own world. You can express anything through your pen. If it hurts, draw! Drawing is a big part of your life, you know that without this, you’re useless! Being able to draw is a gift for you! It serves as your protector in life! Even if sometimes you can’t draw, remember that you draw to live. […]
Yesterday I broke down.
Yesterday I posted here my most utter feelings and ideas, I didn’t censor anything. That man yesterday, was me, it still is me, but for now it is all under control.
I want you all to know that I’m doing well, and this is a fact for all of us , that we all have those grey days, but at the end of each session, we have bright ones too.
I’m not at my best, nor at my worst. I’m just living life as much as I can, and as much as socially accepted.
I sometimes fantasize about suicide, it is how I can keep […]
Hello! If you remember any of my last posts (I don’t blame you if you dont), I’m currently in a mental rehabilitation center as necessary due to my recent suicide attempt. They allowed me technology today.
They’ve been shoving psyciatric pills down my throat and it’s so annoying, but I guess whatever helps. I hope to be out by the end of March.
See you the next time Im allowed my phone. Stay strong.
~Alex.
So I want to try something. A ‘Proof of God‘ project if you will…
I’d like to be clinically dead long enough to see the “other side” and if possible ask God a few questions and then be resuscitated. (If there is such a deity).
This would actually be pretty awesome to do “Live” on Facebook or YouTube.  It seems I would need a partner to resuscitate me after I have been in fact, clinically flat lined with a heart monitor hooked up to verify time of death.
I have some ideas as to how I would do this, but suggestions are very welcome.
Tell me your story, tell me what you would want to wish for, tell me what would it be like if you were happy and successful at the age you are now or just tell me if you are happy with your life and why.
At the age of 16 and a half I would be in a public high school with Straight A’s, friends, and a girlfriend.
I would have a job and be saving up for college or future Investments,
I would be very intelligent, reading books all the time and making goals for myself to make myself better,
I will be more patient with people that […]
Many of you are looking for reasons to keep on living.
I wanted to say that one morning, maybe weeks from now, month, or even years, you will wake up without doubting that you have a reason to.
I wanted to thank you all for all the job you are doing and all the stories that are being shared.
I always felt so alone because I never knew anyone else who is coping with struggles like mine.
I would never have survives without you. In my last post I wrote I’m quitting this site, and well, I’m kind of. But even then, I’m coming over sometimes to […]
two days ago, i attemped to take my life. If you remember, i made a post on it a few hours prior. so, heres how that day went and where i am now.
That day i had waken up around 9pm. By 10 i had my mind made up. I ate breakfast, watched TV for a little while. After a couple hours, i began to secure the rope (i had previously bought it) to my ceiling fan, then i tied a hangmans knot that would so just fine.
I chose a chair and placed it underneath, standing on it with the rope around my neck. My adrenaline […]
With days going on, I learn more and more about myself.
I had it hard in my life. I still am alone. I hid anything I can from people who know me in person.
But sometimes, I feel like I had enough.
I decided, hope for long, to stop crying and ranting about my life. I want to move on, and IF my focus will stay on – “what is bad in my life”, or what bothers me, or all those horrible things that are living in my past and present – then I would never overcome those demons.
If I […]
I’ve been reading many posts made by teenagers and, I won’t lie to you, I feel so sad. They’re young and they still have a lot of time ahead of them.Being young is tough,parents can be a pain in the ass a lot of times and being a student can be sometimes unbearable.But still,they can pursuit their dreams,they can try for what they want and certainly they can achieve many things.
In 2016 I read about a 16 year old girl in my country who committed suicide.Her classmates have been bullying her,because she was overweight.Three months ago I read about a young boy in my hometown who […]
Tomorrow is the beginning of February, which holds with in it 4 major finals.
To start with I want to say sorry for the last disturbing posts.
I use uppers [- Ritalin- ] to treat my ADHD, and it definitely causes heavy downs and other irrelevant side effects.
I’ve promised to update: I decided to let go of this site for a while, let go off whatsapp, facebook, 9gag and etc.
I know myself, and I know what I need for my own good.
Plans motivates me best, and I will from now on, focus on the studying and on the craving of achieving 100.
—- […]
Few years ago, I was a dead boy walking down the school’s corridors. Walking back, forth, between rooms for each class, and from there back to the empty house.
I always had knew what was expecting me at that house.
I always feared from those ‘good’ days. I was so.. under pressure, I could have felt that life is a – if you enjoy today, tomorrow you will be in sorrow, and if you are really lucky, your suffering will start from the same day you dared to fucking smile.
I kept my mouth shut for so long, didn’t feel anyone around me. They were merely humans […]
I wish I live in movies, books, novels, comics, anime, video games. Real world / Real life / Reality is boring & depressing.
by niki
written by niki
Honestly, I just can’t understand nor fathom why Most / Majority of people can go watch movies, read cool, creative, imaginative books / novels / anime / comics, or play super imaginative & fantasy video games, and then later on they just go back to reality, as if nothing happens, and they’re ok with everything.
I hate to say this, but Most people simply just lack Imaginations. Even worse, Most people are boring. All people care in the everyday’s reality & their lives is just the most superficial, mundane, boring, & stupid things. Which is very depressing, especially when you feel like you’re just alone & […]
Years ago, I woke up one day without a fear of my own choices or actions. I didn’t feel time. I didn’t know what age was. Age was just a number that silently reminded everyone of another year that gets us closer to our death.
Hearing the number “24” is nothing to an even older person. It’s as if the youth evaporates into the sky when our age consumes our identity. So, if “24” is nothing then when will we become something? At what age will we start to exist in this world? When will the youth be able to stretch their legs out without the […]
So it’s been a long time since I’ve been on this site. Last month, was the worst month I’ve ever been through. No, I didn’t self harm, because, i was way past that point. I was at the point where i felt certain pain and had emotional breakdowns often, but i felt genuinely empty now. Before, I often had reasons as to why I would feel particularly horrible one day, more so than before. But last month, I just was horribly in emotional pain for all 31 days. My grades dropped so much and the drive I had to succeed in school and life was […]
I will be strong,
I made up my mind
So why look back,
Theres still hope in sight.
Day by day,
Step by step
These little things I will never forget.
I once was weak,
But this is my day
I will be strong,
Get the fuck out my way.