Stories of Hope

4

I am a disappointment

  August 18th, 2017 by haterlivet

One thing i´ve always thought of is that it´s so scary when someone mentally ill and suicidal (me) falls in love. We start feeling whole again. Like we´ve got a purpose, a reason to be here and a reason to start and try.

But one thing that really scares me and hurts me inside to think of  is that; what happens when the person who´s saved me leaves? What happens when the person takes away all the hope and love and beauty and rip out all the stitches they used to put in their partner together again and the broken soul is left worse than they …

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5

Suicide without hurting others

  August 18th, 2017 by haterlivet

I want to end my life, But i want to end it in a way that doesnt hurt the people around me. I’ve come to learn that this life really aint for me, i tried for so many years to stay strong and fight the pain Im feeling, But its absolutely impossible and Nobody really understands the mental illness Im going through. I dont really like to talk about my depression to a lot of people, Cause they think that Im calling for attention or that its no big of a deal. But i really wish They knew What Im going through

My biggest problem is …

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11

First post, with a question

  August 14th, 2017 by uptheguff

I’ve been a lurker here for quite sometime, I have read so many post, replies and whatnot, that my head is filled with swimming thoughts.

I understand all too well, what has brought you all here…what has brought me here.

Seems, that most of wish to be free from existence, from the pain….we all have reasons why we want to go, some more than others.  We all have a reason that life is not as it seems but a form or “HELL”.

With all that in mind, I have a question.   All I want is death, all I want is peace, to no longer exist.

About 6 months …

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3

Is It Really All It’s Going To Take?

  August 9th, 2017 by Eccedentesiastsoul

I do not think I am capable of being loved. I fear that I am never going to be able to find someone who will love me the way I fail to love myself. It has always been my only hope. What if it’s the only way all of this will ever get better? To find the right person who will always be there for me. The thing is I’ve been lied to so many times that I don’t think I can trust anyone anymore. People talk to me when they need something then they just disappear. If I refuse to do what they ask …

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2

9am thoughts

  August 8th, 2017 by Eccedentesiastsoul

Okay. So I don’t really know how this works. What if someone I know finds this, what then? How am I going to explain all this. When people I know see my cuts they judge and say I do it for attention so what will they think if they ever found this? I just need my space, I want to be able to express my thoughts without being scared but I guess fear is always going to be there.

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12

The Average guy.

  August 2nd, 2017 by Urm8451n

After getting accepted to the Uni’ (a really good world known one), I have finished my first semester with an average grades of 75.
75 means – No jobs as a student, hard time finding job once I’m out, and other shitty stuff.
But what is worst is the fact that I went back home. I went back to the nothing I have. To the environment where I have to work a lot while my…. UsedToBe Friends, got their parents as financial backup.
I feel just the way I felt as a 4th grader – Isolated, powerless, incompetent.
My spirit as a fighter died, I feel alone, …

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6

My Parents are Narcissists

  July 22nd, 2017 by BlueDiamond

I’m afraid of writing this post because they might be watching this web-site. I talk and they pretend not to listen, but they’re watching me closely.

I discovered this weeks upon accidently stumbling upon Narcissist parents. They resemble this parenting style the most. When I learned about narcissism. It all everything clicked. Why I’m  so unhappy. Why my self-esteem is so low to almost non-existing. Why my parents confused me, and yet I never wanted to blame them for fear that I’ll upset them like feel their wrath if you challenge let alone question it their ego.

Here, I thought that my mom was overprotected and my …

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4

One More Step.

  July 21st, 2017 by kellinandrew

I tell myself, one more step, every day. When I wake up, I think, just one more day. I try to keep my mind on one day, one moment, at a time. Because when I begin to let my mind drift, I start to slowly drift away. Sliding into an uncontrollable downward spiral. I cannot keep living my life through the small window I have allowed myself. I feel as if I am completely alone. My boyfriend, is gone. Our relationship fell apart after I lost our baby due to a miscarriage. My rape case against my father has been dismissed. So, he is on …

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1

I’m here for you

  July 18th, 2017 by firefly11291998

Hey guys, if you see this and want/need to talk. I’m always open to talk. I really want to make someone(anyone) feel like they are worth it….

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3

Lost Hope

  July 2nd, 2017 by bunniekiss17

I’ve lost hope in my life ever turning around again. My mother has been abusive to me for years now and no one ever listens. I’ve been trying to get out of the house for years now. I’ve talked to social workers many times. It never works. I’m not in a good place. I only have about a year and a half left at home but it’s still hard. I don’t know if I can handle living on much longer. The only one who actually messages me to make sure I’m okay is my brother in law who lives two states away. No one else …

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3

An Exercise Journey

  June 29th, 2017 by BlueDiamond

I’ve really let myself go. I was at my ideal weight when I was a teen I was 160, and I am big bone, so 145 to 160 is ideal. I loved eating healthy and exercising, and I did all forms such as pilates, yoga, weight lifting, and cardio. I also had the teen metabolism, so I could a whole medium pizza from Domino’s once in a while and still run all over the place. I was lacto oavo vegetarian too, so again I ate these weird but healthy foods such soy milk, or sea weed. Not only I was I thin, but apparently I …

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6

why God tortured me like that?

  June 24th, 2017 by an_old_child

after years of suffering, it’s getting good at last.

i think i’m feeling happy and it seems to last for a while. the question here is, why did God tortured me like that?

i know that the day would come that everything will turn upside down again and i will feel down and suicidal -since no happiness is everlasting and no sadness, too- and i think that i’m not ready for that day.

i definitely feel stronger than before all these things happened to me – i don’t really want to say what i’m referring to by “these” – but i don’t like the idea of being put …

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8

Here to listen to you

Here to listen to you

  June 23rd, 2017 by LostInDebt

Hi guys,

I thought I should be a leaning shoulder to several people out there willing to put an abrupt end to their lives.

Firstly, it is safe to say I have been down that road as well and I know exactly what it feels like to be empty and isolated. I held on to one string (scratch that, two strings actually) : my pregnant girlfriend and God… If my girlfriend wasn’t pregnant, I probably wouldn’t be writing this today because I wouldn’t have anything/anyone to look back to… She loves me too much to hurt her. Then, God! I remembered everything they said about suicide, how …

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3

The Punching Bag, or The Outcast

  June 16th, 2017 by BlueDiamond

According to the site’s FAQs, if there are multiple posts in a row, then they will be all? deleted. The site recommends one post per day for the maximum. I love being on here, and being able to write my honest thoughts and feelings, and have a thoughtful audience to engage if they feel like it. It helps to relieve my stress and depression, which it starting to get better. Thank-you, guys.

Topic:

I always had a theory about purpose of the outcast, the person the majority doesn’t like, so they mess with him or her. Don’t think theory more like a thought is the right word. …

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0

Legalities

  June 14th, 2017 by nokshus

As if it wasn’t already a ***** enough. Fuck sakes you deal with the trivialities daily. The unending grind and minutiae. The milieu of reckless absolvency. Fuck, you go from the boredom to the banality. It’s all stupid shit.

Introduce the legal system or any of the bullshit bureaucracy into the fuckshow that is life and it becomes a whole new ball game. Fuck the legalities and hoops it makes you jump through. For real. Fuck incarceration.

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2

Some hope to share

  June 11th, 2017 by SoVeryTired

Six weeks ago, on the Saturday,  I put up a post that I had given up and was going to end it.

However, my conscience got the better of me, and I stepped back from the brink (quite literally, as I had a noose around my neck and was ready to jump) and reached out once more. Some of you here supported me wonderfully, and for that I am really grateful.

My psychiatrist upped one of my meds, and prescribed me some sleeping meds, and that was part of what helped me, as it gave me the breathing space and strength to tackle some really gnarly psychological …

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2

He made me feel like a fool again. This time our relationship paid the price

  June 10th, 2017 by GerbzBaby

I’m irritated to say I’m writing about this particular “friend” again.  I’m beyond angry with him. If you don’t know we and him have a history of “love” together. The last time I hung out with him he was kissing me on the cheek, cuddling with me, laying on my leg/ chest and jealously asking about my love life. Which to me seemed as thoughts still like me but boy was I fucking wrong.

 

Today I found out that he  lead me on and fucked me over for my sister. At first he refused to tell me, saying I would be mad at him forever. Damn …

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2

Relative contentment

  June 8th, 2017 by heartlessviking

I don’t want to say goodbye. I want to reach out to others and remember where I came from. If I don’t do that then I feel like I’d be just as bad as those who didn’t help me.

I’ve been depressed for 7-8 years. That’s off and on. I know people who have had it worse. This last episode lasted almost a year. That’s about 7 months falling into a hole, and 6 months currently climbing back out.

The last few weeks have brought many changes. I finally got a good therapist. I have returned to church. I’m starting to do things I enjoy again. The …

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7

To the ones who know loremaster

  June 7th, 2017 by My life is over

He is in the CCU and he tried to slit his wrist open and failed. He almost died he is in the hospital. Sorry for the death the hospital just called and said he is in critical condition.

 

loremaster82@gmail.com if any questions

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5

Goodbye

  June 6th, 2017 by My life is over

I’m gonna do it from me to humanity hold on and don’t give up stay strong.

 

 

It will be rope this time

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