When I was a little girl my mother was a pill addict and attempted to commit suicide multiple times. I remember finding her in the bathroom with her wrists cut open when I was around 8 and feeling something inside of me die. When I was 9 I attempted to cut my own wrists open with a knife. There was a time when my family functioned but now my mother was in and out of mental hospitals and my father was constantly working and taking care of her. I can remember my first time being in the mental hospital and actually being happy there because people […]

“when it rains it pours”….. well,,,, it has not stopped pouring for about 8 months.
To summarize, the daughter that I raised alone for 20 years, showed up one night, with the police, and her boyfriend after a small argument on the phone the night before and took some belongings and left, with no explanation. I apologized for things that were said on the phone the night before. We have had arguments before that were much worse. […]

In recent years, for some reason i keep thinking things may turn around. what shit. things only get worse, like the growing pain i have living. in recent years ive had 2 sepereate relationships ending in getting cheated on.. i dont complain to people i know, as i would burden and alienate them, as i have done to all of my friends. i recently lost my best friend to suicide. I have no one to talk to. i lost my car. my job. my frinds. family. and parts of my body from accidents. I have cancer.

I always cycle through 3 moods. It starts with apathy, my ‘normal’ mood. I don’t feel shitty, I don’t feel great. I’m just existing, nothing else. Then I switch into anger cycle. Everything pisses me off and I feel like butchering everyone who talks to me. It always ends with the depression cycle, which is where I am now. Every time I reach this cycle, it gets worse.  It always hits me like a brick and I feel this is the last time I can tolerate it. I can’t think of a reason I feel this terrible, I just do. I feel like I’m addicted […]

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” – Jesus, Matthew 11:28

hey everyone.

i don’t have too much to say but i’ll start off by mentioning that this post isn’t at all for myself.

there are a lot of people who come to this site and write down their experiences/situations for others to read, but many of us here don’t really receive help.

the only way things fall away from goodness is because of a lack of God. so basically what i’m trying to say is that if you really want to make your life and yourself […]

When I was a little girl, neighbourhood bullies made me bury a tiny baby bird alive. I had no choice or they would beat me. I wear the guilt in my heart every day.

I’m 15 years old. I turn 16 on the 19th June. But you know something? I don’t think I’m going to get there anymore. I don’t really care, either. Another birthday marks another year of being in constant pain. It’s not teenage drama,  it’s not because of the boy I like rejecting me or my parents grounding me, or anything like that, that’s just silly delusions for people that haven’t seen the […]

I’m so tired. I just want to throw it all away, seeing as I no longer care. I’m 34, married, and have a 3 year old daughter. But I just don’t care anymore. I have a life insurance policy, and ssi death benefits won’t pay in event of a suicide. But I’ve found the way. I know how to make it look like an accident. Now I just have to wait for the right timing. We’ll all be better off after this is done.

……..i JUS hate my life!!!! ughhhh!

I posted earlier today or last night don’t really know what time but for the frist time I tried to talk to some one about how I feel. I talk to my cousin I told him how I hate my self and wanna die aand how I tired every single time I can. He understand and gave me good adivce but it honestly didn’t help at all I hate feel like such a messs like nothin useless I was hopin that talkin to him would make me stop feeling like this but it didn’t help at all I told him it did so he can […]

Hi readers,

I’m brandnew here. I’m a 48 years old man and I work as a consultant for chipmakers, and I just do not understand how I came into the situation I’m in now.

Lonlieness and cold hearted people are litterally killing me. I was born in Germany, came to France at the age of 14 with my parents, and lived there for 28 years, was married 14 years, with three daughters with whom I  have no contact since 5 years. In 2002, my father, a rude and intolerant man I really hated, died. My former wife hated my father too, maybe more than I did, and […]

I’ve lost 3 pounds in the last 2 days. I’m hungry and I can’t breathe. I have no idea why I refuse to eat. Maybe I’m trying to prove something. I just don’t want to live anymore…

I took  break from love for a while, but now I am at the place I was when I was 12 (Yes, to me a year is a lifetime) I don’t want a pathetic little puppy love, meaningless practice relationship. I want the guy I dream about! Why in the hell can’t I have that? Is it really that naive to want the almost perfect guy? I don’t want […]

I am 19 years old, since I was 14 I been feeling like am very use less in this world like am a waste of a body here. I haven’t accoplished anything in my life. I feel like the only reason am here is so people would look at me n feel better about there life and so I can suffer every single hour of my life. I have tired none stop to kill myself. I think about ending it every day. No one knows how I feel and no would understand I keep everything to my slef until today. To everyone I look […]

The constant fighting, the constant crying, the constant angry slash marks on my arms.  Suicide is probably something that I won’t go through with, however, I wish that I was never born.  That may be awful to say, but I’m extremely saddened by everything.  I’m no longer happy with anything.  I cut myself to feel, at least, in control of one emotion.  Truthfully, I don’t really know how much I can put myself through.  Constant heartache after another.  Constant issues with my family.  Constant battles with the mirror.  I cannot stand to look at myself.  All I see is someone not worthy of anything.  I […]

Honestly speaking, I don’t think I will kill myself, but only because I don’t have the guts to do it. I really really wish I was dead though. I just really have to get this stuff out. Many people have it worse than me I know, but that doesn’t change the fact that all I feel is pain. I can’t stop crying and saying “I’m so alone.” I’m 27 and married, with one 2 year old and one daughter on the way. Ever since age 13 I have wanted to kill myself. I have thought about it probably every day. I just have never found […]

do u ever get the feeling like ‘ is that it?’ is this what i was born for , to just exist and nothing more? Do u ever get the feeling your never going to be happy, as in, your were just not meant to be ?

i really feel like this is it you know? this is what the rest of my life is going to be like , ill never  be happy to the extent I want to be , ill just be , ill just exist , go through life doing all the things im  supposed to do , like everyone else, only […]

I’m 19, a freshman in college, and I’m surprised it’s taken me this long to lose my mind. I’ve quit caring about my life. I’ve never really seen it as anything special, but I at least used to care a little bit about what happened to me. Maybe it has something to do with my roommate almost killing himself, or maybe it’s because I’ve finally just felt so alone I can’t take it anymore. I stare at myself and see an ugly, wretched existence that no more needs to be on this earth than cancer.
I don’t feel as if anyone cares, even though my […]

I keep playing Russian Roulette (THE SONG!) over and over again. It provokes my old thought process. I was able to write poetry for the first time in a few weeks. It was pretty intense.

I have to go to martial arts tonight. I like it a lot but I feel stupid since I’m just a beginner, and since I kind of like my instructor and this other guy in my class. But, lucky me… They’re too much older than me. The last guy I dated was 17 and he was flaky as hell! He was so annoying. And he tried to act like he knew […]