I’m 16, and I’m going into my senior year of high school in a few months, and I’ve been facing depression for over a year now. I wish I could explain how I really feel, but I don’t think it would make sense. Mostly it’s the fact that I have high-achieving dreams. Like, the kind of dreams where it takes a one in a million chance to actually accomplish them. And I’ve convinced myself that I’m not going to achieve anything in life and I’ll just be bored and miserable the entire time. As if I’m convinced that without these dreams, I won’t be happy, […]
Tag:
Depression
I hate business !
I hate money !
I hate capitalism / capitalist !
The main reason is because business kills creativity & ideas . money kills creativity & ideas . capitalism / capitalist kills creativity & ideas !
There are a LOT of good ideas , creativity , imaginations , inspirations , dreams , & even good deeds that business / money kills ! simply because of a petty, shallow reason “it doesn’t make a lot of money or profits ! ”
money makes the world unfair ! business makes the world unfair ! capitalism makes the world unfair !
plus , the world becomes a boring […]
Im not sure whether or not I still have depression because I stopped crying and feeling numb all the time. However, maybe its because I got out of school and I dont have to see anyone anymore. I still cut and think about cutting everyday. I still like depressing music. Im not sure if im better or not.
It’s one of those days I don’t want to move from my bed or see anyone
Well I am new here and im only 14 years old in 8th grade going into high school. I am going through depression and have had many suicidal thoughts and attempts. To start off with school is stressing me out right now and theres only a few days left. My grades are horrible and I might not graduate. I have no freedom because my mother doesnt let me out and I stay in my room all day. My friends are always together out being teenagers and I am just at home arguing with my mother. A few days ago my mother told me that if […]
Hello to you all. I am DarknessIncarnate. This is not my real name but my tale is real I can assure you.
How do I start? I suppose it started when I was in Primary. In my years in my primary school I was never able to make any friends asides from two people. One had the surname of Holmes and the other of Dell. Let’s call them H (for Holmes) and D (for Dell). My first friend was H, and we never really were that far apart from one another. We were close friends and always enjoyed more abstract, imaginative games. Often involving crossing together […]
I guess I’ve been scared for a long time. I worry constantly about everything, so much so that people yell at me about my worries and about how annoying I am. I don’t know what will happen in the future – I don’t know if I’ll be able to change or if my depression will go away. I’ve had depression for about two to three years, and I haven’t seen anyone or told anyone about it, except for my best friend, but he doesn’t understand. No one understands. I don’t think I truly have friends, because they know me on a school-politeness-same hobbies way, but […]
So, I just started a new job… I took it for several reasons:
a) I earn 300 euro more compared to before and could depending on my performance boost this with another 60% of my total salary… But this is just money. I hate it.
b) Maybe it is the same as the above as I am currently in dept more or less… because of the drugs. I actually took the job (partly) so that I could support this lifestyle, while thinking I would be able to make my life more stable with a 9 till 5 job rather then one in which my hours […]
Depression
Depression is not something easily understood. It drains the life out of you. You just fall and can’t get up. It requires so much for you to stand up, specially by yourself. People can lend you a hand but it’s just that they’re out of your reach. Depression is not funny or cute. It is something that consumes you. It takes over you and you feel like you’ve lost control.
Anxiety
Anxiety is not something you can understand just by learning about it. It is something that you have to experience in order to understand. It is fear. It prevents you from doings things. Making friends. […]
I may not have had the greatest upbringing being from an undesirable neighborhood of NYC. But despite all the bad things I saw and experienced as a child, I was just so happy. The trick was, it can always be worse. No matter how bad things got, all I had to think was ‘it can always be worse’ and bam I’d feel better. No matter how terrible I think my life was, there’s always someone out there going thru much much worse. And this simple way of thinking has gotten me thru my entire life.
Now things have changed. I just turned 20 years old and […]
I’m not sure what I want. I not sure weather I want to kill myself or just die. It’s 2015 and I’ve been facing depression for over four straight years now. When I tell my parents I’m depressed they just think it’s a temporary thing. When I tell my “friends” they think I’m a attention seeking whore and don’t believe me cause I’m always “smiling”. I’m only 16 and I’ve never had a girlfriend and I always feel alone. Which causes me to think that no ones cares about me and that’s the reason I’m lonely. I believe that I can be cured by finding […]
So, I have nowhere to rant so im just gonna do it here. Excuse my incorrect grammar and spelling or confusing stuff. Here goes. Please stick with me.
Everyone who I thought was my friend just ignores me. Im never invited anywhere when all my best friends go out together. People never text me, I have to text them first, and they just ignore me. I’m fucking sick of trying to make everyone happy when no one gives a shit about me. Thats one of the reasons why I have depression. Now let me tell about other stuff.
Im not sure how this all started off. I […]
I was doing so well for a while, it had been over 3 months since I had dangerous suicidal ideology. I mean I think it is normal to think of it from time to time but to feel like you are truly plotting it out and very close to action is another thing. I am still bad today. Deep depression, suicidal ideology, but I am not close like I was last night. I did speak with my doctor and I admitted to thoughts of suicide, but I didn’t tell him how close I was to taking steps. I am afraid of going to the hospital. […]
I’ve been depressed for over 9 years now. I can’t deal with this pain anymore. I have scars all over my body, and I want to add more so I can ignore my pain, just for a little bit. But, mostly, I just want it to end and the only way I know how to do that is if I kill myself. Then it will all stop! Right?
I’ve been bullied since day 1 of school, never had a good solid friend until i was about 10 years old, my mother passed away the day before I turned 12, and ever since then my depression […]
basically for over 3 years now i wake up with the same question in my head, what happened?/when did i start to feel this way?/what the hell caused this?! for 3 years now, I still have no clue. Why am i so sad? why am i even depressed? why is it every time I’m hanging out with my family or my friends i feel alone and empty? I’ve literally lost myself. I’m not the same anymore. I don’t find excitement or happiness in the things that i used to, i don’t want to hang out with any one anymore, all I wanna do is be left […]
As i’m sitting here, home alone, typing this, i’m feeling slightly hopeful for this website. I don’t know how many people are active here. I don’t even know if I really care. All I know is that I need a place to vent when I need to, and this place caught my eye. I would like to begin by just venting about my setting. I’m sitting here at a kitchen dining room table that’s littered with used kleenex- 15 of them, my OCD made me count-, a red face, and a wadded up suicide note. Kidding about the last thing. I have a need to […]
I don’t want to live life, it bores me… and I have not enough will power to do things. I’m lazy. Do you think I could do something about my life?
by Baenum
written by Baenum
It all started when I was little. I would look up at other kids doing things and I would wonder: why? why are they doing all that? I know, there are existentialist questions and I am kinda existentially depressed. The meds cannot get as far as my body and I do feel better physically, I don’t feel stress as intensely as before and I don’t think about suicide. And yet, I do think that suicide is the only way to end life because that’s the obvious truth. I don’t want to live it, it’s beautiful but boring. I have lived on this earth for nineteen […]
Hey umm.. I love this site, and I just wanted to know if there’s a way you can private message on here, or are there chat rooms on other sites that you could suggest to me..?
Depression is getting to the best of me today.
Whoo Hoo.
Something about this so called life that I am living seems artificial. As if I am the punch line to a very cruel joke. I’m overwhelmed more often than not about what it means to take my own life. In my mind it’s simple. Numerous ways to end my suffering or finish the joke before I’m thrown down a whirlwind of continuos pain yet again. I’m suicidal almost daily. When I think I can handle taking my life I know I can’t and I break down at the thought of leaving behind loved ones. I would tell a therapist but that would get me committed […]
Who else is with me here? I don’t just get depressed, I’m always depressed. My mind can’t think about anything else unless I am unconcious (sleeping). Nonstop pain every second of my life for years now. Every single memory I’ve ever had is gone now, I don’t remember even the biggest days of my life. It’s incredible I am still alive, when my brain doesn’t even function no longer. I just want to stop being tortued alive and be in a unconcious state forever..