Lyrics:
So many feelings
Pent up in here
Left all alone, I’m with
The one I most fear
I’m sick and I’m tired
Of reasoning
Just want to break out
Shake off this skin
–
I can’t escape myself
–
All my problems
Loom larger than life
I can’t swallow
Another slice
Seems like my shadow
Mocks every stride
Can I learn to live with
What’s trapped inside?
–
I can’t escape myself
–
So many feelings
Pent up in here
Left all alone, I’m with
The one I most fear
I’m sick and I’m tired
Of reasoning
Just wanna break out
Shake off this skin
–
I can’t escape myself
I can’t escape […]
Groundhog Day Loop Syndrome
(Image Source: Haruhi Suzumiya (Anime/Manga))
Itsuki: “We’ve entered an endless recursion of time. (x4)”
Intro
(Some rambling, sorry. :()
Sigh… I feel like saying so many things on here. 🙁
Like, most of it is on my profile I guess, but it would be nice to talk about personality stuff to see where everyone is at so I can get to know them, or if they never looked into it, they could to discover themselves. 🙂 Like, Myers-Briggs, the Enneagram, arguably sillier ones like their D&D alignment, […]
Introduction
Here’s a poem I made on Facebook on June 1st, when I really needed to vent. :p
(It’s a bit dark and sadomasochistic, instead of just plain masochistic, I hope that’s okay…)
Not that anyone cares, most people just ghost me…
People usually ignore me or hate me, I’m not sure if anyone is at fault when people leave me or don’t want to talk to me and I’m not sure if I should even care…
I just want to be myself… people are too different from me…
I […]
I woke up this morning,went to the kitchen and made a coffee.I sat in front of my pc and I started watching videos on youtube,smoking and trying to kill time.Most of the time I wasn’t paying any attention to these videos.I was thinking.Thinking about my life and the world.
I spent most of my life in this empty house (I’ve been living here since I left my parents’ house when I was 20 years old).Alone.I haven’t got any purpose or any goals to reach.I’ve saved some money,so I don’t have to work for now.But I know that I’ll have to find a job.Working is a nightmare.I […]
I always feel as if my chest is empty.
So I’ve decided that since I’ll never fill it, I shall make the rest of me feel empty.
Just like much of my writing, this probably won’t be read much before it is eventually destroyed… Though unlike most of my writing, this is public… Just thoughts I guess..
I wanted to say.. I wish there was something… Of all the reasons to leave this world, mine is in essence.. I never found my place.. I never found my passion.. Where I fit.. That one spot that actually seems right..
I’m a great jack of all trades and I have passed tested rating me as a genius.. I’ve thought it all out to the point where I don’t have any questions left to ask..
Its just.. Day […]
I’m new to here, so hello… I’ve been feeling down for a while now and alots been going on… I’m sure a lot of you can relate to this poem …
You make me feel so worthless
So depressed and so alone
You make me feel like crying
And cutting deep into the bone
You look at me in solitude
With your evil looking glare
Make me feel so worthless
Like I’m living in despair
I want you to understand
To have some gratitude in there
To feel the emptiness I feel
And the loneliness in the bed we share
Why am I here
What have I done
Will […]
I am still here.
It seems as if it is just one disappointment after another. I have everything I need to “punch in my ticket,” yet instill I hesitate. My friend said something is keeping me here, keeping me from committing the final deed. I don’t know what it is but I want to find it. I am tired of the monotony of life and just want to be okay again. I have been seeing a psychologist and psychiatrist on and off for about three years now and it doesn’t seem like it is working. I don’t feel intense emotions anymore and all I do is sleep […]
Sometimes I wonder if there really is an alternate universe, or another life, or a life in a life. And whatever might happen when you’re dead and your feet are no longer touching the ground.
What do you feel after you die? What do you see? Is everything pitch black, you with no thoughts whatsoever, you literally just gone? Are you really going to be up there, with a God who just so promised to have plans for you? Plans for your life? Or is there another life, where, once you’re dead, you live again. Live another life. Reborn. Forget your past life and just move forward. Start new.
Sometimes […]
when was it that I first knew you?
Eternity — at the age of two
I think I first saw you.
gazing through my tear-soaked blindfold
that my mitten-bound hands could not remove,
I lost myself in the warm colours of your embrace
as terror descended on a body no longer mine.
you remain my first memory. but then,
how could I understand you?
seven. on dark basement steps, you found me again.
though you took me by surprise.
soothing and seducing
were your intoxicating whispers —
yet silent were your eyes.
I took in your ethereal liquor —
I breathed your whispers in.
“You don’t have to be here and suffer;
you just have to imagine.”
so imagine I did. I buried […]
Where to begin… I’ll be 19 next week and I still don’t know what do I want from life, I don’t even know what would I like to do in the future, what would make me happy. It all started around the age of 10 I guess, my parents got devorced and we moved in the new environment. But I wasn’t really sad beacouse of the devorce tbh, it was the new environment, I wasnt excepted there, I was an outsider. But that was only the begining, at first I thought it made me stronger and it did in some way but since that year I can’t […]
I wrote this a long time ago, in my teens when I was first coming to terms with my depression and feeling suicidal. This was one of the many many poems I wrote going through a really bad time. Thought some of you might relate or have at some point.
I can’t bare to go on much longer
These suicidal feelings continue to grow stronger
The only escape is in my sleep
I’ve dug this whole and now I’m in to deep
Don’t act like you know how I feel
For you see this life of mine is surreal
Still praying you hear my desolate […]
I really don’t know what to do anymore.
Some call it a phase of life, others just a small crisis.
But I don’t know and I actually dont care.
I feel empty. Nothing excites me. I don’t have goals and no matter how much I search, I just feel that I will be put down.
Everything I do is put down. I got support, but what does that count? They wont be there forever.
I wonder, why was I born? I feel empty. Don’t feel joy actually and just waste my life.
I tried many times to kill myself, stabbing, hanging, drowning and even throw myself infront of a train or […]
YOU ask me what i need and WHAT I NEED IS YOU.
I know I cant have you, You tell me i cant have you, you’ve made up your mind. You tell me you love me, you tell me you will still be around but you tell me you’re leaving overseas.. HOW THE FUCK?
You tell me all these things but do you really mean it? Why would you challenge yourself trying to make it overseas when you have a challenge here trying to make this work, make us work and (what i was hoping) start a family. YOU and only you would throw this all […]
What or who do you think is torturing us? And why? Is it a god that’s torturing us for some reason? Is it some evil powers like demons? Or is it just “nature”?
I see a picture of horses grazing in a field and, my god, it’s so beautiful, it’s so peaceful, none of them are bleeding, or in any pain, all of them are beautiful happy and content. That’s how life should be.
Instead we have chaos everywhere police syrens, blood, screams, filth, crying, humiliation, emptiness, suicide, hopeless, traumatized….
Everything is wrong. I want to know why.
It’s been a tough few months for me lately.
Some days i hide it well, others, not so much.
Some days I am sat on my own in my bedroom and I feel so low I have no idea where to go or what to do.
I consider whether my next breath is worth taking dozens of times a day.
Some nights i go to sleep and admit to myself that not waking up; well it wouldn’t be so bad.
Sometimes i will try to talk family or friends but they are always seeming so happy that I don’t want to spoil their day so I […]
My home life really isn’t as bad as some here. But, I’m not going to say it is spactacular, because I would not be telling the truth.
But at home, there is always conflicts. People are always unhappy. And if I want to talk to anyone in my family about my feelings of depression or emptiness or loneliness, they get shoved asside. When I went to the mental home last year and my parents found I was suicidal, it was more like, you’re turning your back on god, or, how could you be so selfish?
I never want to be a greedy person or selfish, […]
its seems everything i knew about the human race the people i’m growing up with the people i look up to the ones that leer over me are all… i can’t rely explain it to be honest its like there cross’t between 2 faced and volatile or in the case of my peers just plane violent i look arrowed and everyone i know it seems purely sexually driven like its the only thing they want need desire is sex and frankly i think it’s a bit floored coos if that’s all you can think of what’s the fucking Pont what do you think… pray tell […]
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