I’m starting to realize how much freaking effort it takes to start trying again, while still depressed and after having pretty much given up on life for a couple of months. My initial motivation was simply that I had nothing to lose, but that doesn’t really help me when I have to get up and commute to work despite feeling physically and mentally drained. It’s not as simple as having nothing to lose or taking it one day at a time. Eventually I will get tired and start asking myself “What’s the point,” and I don’t have a good answer. I still have no long-term goals. […]
This is my first ever post. But I was desperate for some help because I don’t know how much longer I can go on. For many years I have off and on considered giving up and ending my life. And lately the need and want for giving up is growing stronger. Some mornings it is just hard to get up and out of bed. I live with my boyfriend, who does not take suicide very seriously and only thinks it is stupid and what weak people do. I have a hard time talking to him about it. He asked me to be stronger. I don’t […]
Hello. I think I’m running out of steam. I just don’t really care anymore. It’s a hassle to get up in the morning, I stopped talking to a lot of people, my grades are starting to slip (yes I’m in high school), my teachers and other students are getting visibly frustrated when dealing with me. I just don’t really care anymore. I try my best to put up this front that I’m fine, but I’m starting to lose motivation for that too. It’s starting to show, and I can’t afford another freak out and get sent back to therapy. I’m tired. And I feel shitty […]
I’ve been away from sp bc I was staying with family to help my mom who was here (NY) from Florida. I got home yesterday and I haven’t moved from my couch since except for the bathroom. I haven’t showered, eaten, unpacked my bags or done anything. I’m starving but I don’t care. I don’t even have the will to get up and eat. I see no point to doing a damn thing. I wonder how long it would take for me to starve to death. Probably too long. I’m just lying here staring at the wall. I feel paralyzed by hopelessness. How does one […]
I’ve been finally realizing how old they are becoming. Their health and minds are slowly depleating. I remember growing up with them. Spending time with them. Helping them so much. Today everyone was in a hurry to see a movie and rushing them. They both dont walk fast anymore. And Grandpa has nerve damage in his right arm. So he is unable to move it. No one asked if they needed help, just rushing them. They get so confused easily on top of that. Me on the other hand I waited for them. I stood by them as they got ready to get up and […]
You know sometimes I really frigging think to myself, (LIKE RIGHT NOW):
“FUCKING. SNAP. OUT. OF. IT.”
No yah. Its true. Just snap out if it. There IS no sadness.There is no stress. There is no problem. Get up and move on and live life “normally” because that exists for a damn reason.
But you know what? I can’t,”snap out of it”. I can’t wake up one day and be OK. I can’t pretend I am fine. I can’t because I am NOT.
But still,
once more,
“snap out of it. Everything is fine.”
Sure.
But maybe I’m not.
well apart from being able to feel physical pain today which is not really normal for me still shocked usually completely numb anyways struggled to get up and to college but I did but my teacher is saying basically if I pass the next test I will be done thank fuck but I really don’t no what to do with myself when I finish more time on my hands and mind isn’t good but I ain’t got no goals or plans no interests now what ? Like I said before I didn’t really plan living this long I’m a decade over due Now were is […]
I’m leaving for a job interview in an hour. Hoping I get employed. If I found a job again I wouldn’t feel so useless. It’ll give me a purpose to get up every day again.
well were to start well having to get up for college at 6 am today and tomorrow and mayb Friday Which really dose suck because I hate college now but I’m one of them people that have to finish something They start OCD maybe who knows
but the worst part is no not having to get up and go to college which u hate or get up at 6 am
The problem is waking up at all I really didn’t plan on living this long I really didn’t I should really have died at 18 or 19 so I’m like a decade over due and still don’t […]
so tired I really don’t want to get up one part of me wants to give up the other part wants to push on I feel it’s goin to be one of them days I want it to end before its begins hopefully things change I hope the day runs smooth why is life so complicated sigh
After four days of being sick and near-bedridden because of the usual health issues, I was FINALLY able to get out today.
I was able to get up, shower, get dressed, and go out to one of my favorite WiFi spots.
I realize I should be used to it by now, but it’s just such an awful feeling to be trapped indoors like I am sometimes. It’s like being an animal caught in a trap. Stuck in bed, with bones hurting anytime I try to move. Rolling over in bed was something so difficult that it occasionally […]
Was meant to go college today set my alarm but when it was time to get up I couldn’t get up iv had enough of this shit everyday waking up tired everyday no motivation I could easily sleep 12 hours I don’t even like college ok it gets me out the house and I’m almost done well I think I’m planning on another attempted once I finish college I don’t even no what to do with myself my life has fell apart I’m rock bottom I can’t live like this anymore
When you are talking to your friends and they make “harmless” jokes about what you feel and what you do to yourself everyday, what do you say?
I know they do not know what happens when I’m home by myself, but they always make self-harm jokes or suicide jokes. I have recently been trying to open up more to my friends and to actually talk to people but I haven’t gotten to the really deep stuff, and I probably never will. But I have tried getting them to stop using jokes about self-harming or suicide but they just question why I am saying to stop.
Everyday they […]
You can’t really plan a day for suicide, can you? You just have to get up one day and do it.
Gee, took me that long to figure it out.
Wow…
If I wasn’t so apathetic right now, I’d be shocked down to my core…
I never thought it possible to get emotionally lower than I was feeling before… But here I am, unable to even think, my last drop of energy being used earlier today when I walked home from my studies…
I don’t even have the energy to kill myself. If I had energy, I’d do it right now, as this is unbearable, but I cannot be bothered to get up from my chair for nothing in the world…
If the building would just collapse on me and excuse me of all the work involved in killing […]
It’s pretty late where I’m located right now. Normal people are sleeping. I should be as well, although I can’t seem to do that at this time. I need to get up for work in about three hours, and if I don’t do that, this day is going to be long, no doubt.
Do you ever feel like the silence is the loudest thing around? I’ve moved to a new area, and hardly know anyone. Sometimes I wish there were someone out there, maybe like a radio Dj, that one could listen to at these odd hours of the evening, and just let everyone know […]
Hey guys, it’s been a while since my last post. Probably gonna be a post with random shit, sorry.
So my first internship went really bad. My supervisors don’t know about my attempt, but they know I had to go to the hospital because of a mental problem. When the internship was over they had a talk with me. They were really worried and advise me to get help and to speak with the school. I went talk with the responsible teacher and she started asking a lot of questions and found out about my attempt. She was reluctant to let me do the second […]
I cant seem to get up or do anything useful…anyone up for talking?
I don’t care.
I don’t care enough to get better.
I don’t care enough to kill myself.
I don’t care enough to take anything seriously.
I don’t care enough to make anyone happy.
I don’t care enough to prove anyone wrong.
I don’t care enough to be on time.
I don’t care enough to keep my promises.
I don’t care enough to accomplish anything.
I don’t even care enough to get up early 😛
I don’t care, no one else does, I am a pathetic, retarded little child and if I die, I might just make a lot of people smile, it might even cheer this place […]
So I’m 64 now and my whole life has gone by and I’ve got nothing to show. I’m still living in my parents house. I never left. I can’t afford my own apartment because I don’t have a job. I haven’t worked in over 27 years. I still havn’t had a single boyfriend at my age. I just live in my own little bubble. Get up, watch some YouTube. Go back to sleep is my routine. I am a fat slob because I have no motivation to get out of the house.
Okay so I’m not 64 yet but this is practically my life as it […]
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