I can’t wait any longer, all I can think about is how useless I am, how I’ll never get good at drawing, how I’m a burden on my family and everyone I meet. I just can’t wait any longer, tonight I want to take my life. I’m not doing anything good staying here. I think I’m finally ready.
Tag:
my life
I’m incredibly tired. I have to work in an hour. I’m permanently lonely. I try to improve things but im too much of an old useless failure. Im in physical pain mental and emotional pain and i don’t want to live anymore. I wish I had a method. I’ve tried so many times but life I failed. Just like ive tried to improve my life but i failed. I wish death’s sweet embrace would show up. Im just fucking tired.
When I try to get my head around the idea of ending my life, I can’t imagine going through with it. Letting go of all the possibilities of existence. Everything suddenly starts to seem precious. Every moment, every minor positive experience, becomes meaningful. How could I leave a world with such beauty in it? A world containing fluffy clouds on summer days, rolling hills, and a sky full of stars. A world full of music. How could I not hang on for as long as possible, just for the chance of another moment like that?
The problem is maintaining that feeling while interacting with society. You […]
Idk what it is but I’m depressed again like I was last year, only this time I think it’s worse. I do pretty well all other months but right after that second week of february hits so do the feelings. I feel such sadness, disappointment, loneliness, and confusion and it literally sucks the life from me.
Not a single person knows this about me but I need sex to keep me sane otherwise my whole world crumbles. I’m not an addict I don’t have sex with anyone nor do I necessarily do it all the time. I’ve only been with 2 people one I was dating […]
Feeling depressed sad, not grieving sad. At least it feels like it, like I’d be feeling this way (mostly) even if my fiance and I were still together.
I do feel like I’ve sort of accepted she’s gone and what’s happened, maybe. But it feels like my life is just a cycle of loss and tragedy on top of unrelenting depression and anxiety. The only reprieve I’ve had was when I was with my fiance/girlfriend. Our first year together is probably the happiest I can remember ever being- not only was I in love with an amazing woman who loved me back, but right before we […]
I’ve been in counseling for like a month. I thought it would help more than it has, but I guess it isn’t much of a surprise that my counselor can’t just fix for me what I haven’t been able to fix for myself. My counselor hasn’t offered diagnoses and I haven’t asked. She doesn’t know all the information, quite frankly because most of it is really embarrassing, and also because if I said I was suicidal she might tell my mom or the school. I’d rather go unchecked and kill myself than let them find out and have to explain it. And how would I explain to […]
I’m pretty sure it was a month or 2 ago that I made a post saying that I was hopefully leaving this world and that it could very possibly be my last post. Nope. It didn’t pan out the way I would’ve wanted it to so I’m still here. Around the time I found out it wasn’t going to happen my mother took notice for once of my depression. So it was about 4 years ago that my mother moved me away from my friends and I haven’t made any since, partially due to my social anxiety but also a lack of opportunity. Anyway my […]
This song is about suicide..It helps me forget about my life and just feel anger about everythin and everyone!
The Trance Is The Motion”
speed toward hell
shed no tears
you don’t know me
take my life
steal my tongue
to defeat your taste
could never criticize
no better then me
better then you
it’s easier to lie
than to tell the truth
you’ve become the waste that i despise
this is the motion of the new revolution
the trance is the motion
Oknso i am so afaid for tomorrow it’s not normal. My father is probaly gonna come and drag me out of my husbands grandparents house. And. One out of two things are gonna happen .
1. My marriage will break
2. Or i lose all contact with my family
So i dont know how im gonna make threw the night.
And on top of that my brother is getting a divorice and its all my fault.
Why is it my fault because when I first came to fl my parents did not want me here and threaten to drag me put of my inlaws house were i […]
So this basically what’s been going on in my life for the past 3 years I’m married no kids and I have a husband that does love me.in my culture get married very young I got married at 18 and that involves living with your in until it’s time for you to move out and live on your own.after a year and a half of marriage I was feeling pretty good I wasn’t feeling completely worthless and I haven’t cut in almost a yearPoint.right after 2nd year mark life went to shit .financially I was very unstable which is a very big problem my mother […]
Some of the things I will speak about in this, have already been stated in my previous post, not too long ago. So let’s begin.
As a child I was constantly beat up by my step father, this only stopped when my mother kicked him out of the house. I would constantly be beaten up and bullied at school, during the same periods of time. I went on to secondary school, the first 4 days were fine, but after that I started getting bullied again. At around age 13, I lost it in a fit of rage and beat the “Leader” of the group of bullies […]
Well I’m planning to end my life in the next day or so because I just can’t take it any more. I’m not really sure why I’m even posting this but I feel someone should know how I feel at least. Things have been terrible for me since my mother’s death last March.
I’m 28 but because of severe anxiety and other issues have never had a job and thus have no money of my own so I’m stuck living with my father who I hat for many reasons and have hated for about 20 years. Not the least of these reasons is that he […]
This is my last chance. My last post. My last idea to change hope for the future. My life has had many happy and not so happy moments, and that’s what is getting to me. I may still be young, but no one not even myself knows everything I’ve been through. You may find no interest reading something like this, but those who do, I suggest you read everything.
My name is Mike. I am 17 years old, and have lived through a lot in this so far short life. I have two medical conditions: Moebius and klinefelters. If you say me in real […]
I feel so powerless and worthless. I’m in pain again. I just want to take my life.
I can’t cope with life. It’s too painful. It’s torture and agony what I’m going through again.
I was able to distract myself recently and felt good by keeping busy. Yesterday all the pain came back because of a memory of the past. Now I don’t have the will to do anything. I feel so small, insecure and hopeless. I just want to end my life. It’s the only thing that can free me from this nightmare and give me peace.
Sigh…
I try not to but how can that occur. Im old i missed out on life and i want to die. I try to give myself hope sometimes i even succed. But death would be better. Depression is cureless in people who have had it their entire lives. People who have had useless pain filled lives. I cant look forwards or backwards in my life without seeing pain. I cant look at my current life wit out seeing pain. Without being told by life that loneliness and depression is all i deserve and that im not good enough for more than pity maybe. Some days […]
Time has come. The moment when I feel like my ressources are becoming too thin to help me deal with the damages caused by a series of traumas that happened for seven years, leaving me with sole compagny our dear friend depression and collateral damages for over ten lovely springs. The urge to kill myself has been within me for so long that it shaped my life, my personnality and most certainly my abailities. Nethertheless, there are people I love and who care about me so I cannot make the jump as I think is the case for many other peeps around here. This attachement […]
Was meant to go college today set my alarm but when it was time to get up I couldn’t get up iv had enough of this shit everyday waking up tired everyday no motivation I could easily sleep 12 hours I don’t even like college ok it gets me out the house and I’m almost done well I think I’m planning on another attempted once I finish college I don’t even no what to do with myself my life has fell apart I’m rock bottom I can’t live like this anymore
This Won’t Make One Bit of Sense… I’m writing things as they pop into my head
by lanegirl
written by lanegirl
I’ve been asking my parents to take me to a psychologist for the past four years. Today they told me I have an appointment next week, I was happy at first, then they told me the day of my appointment and I got scared.
I have too many things on my plate…
I used to enjoy going to my Forensics practices, it was a time where I got to swear, scream, cry and just be who I am inside without anyone knowing. Now, I have to be patient, not be so dramatic. For FUCKS sake, how am I not supposed to be dramatic? Seriously, my category is Drama! I […]
[tw: self-harm]
i turn 21 tomorrow and feel pretty terrible about it. i didn’t want to make it to 21. i wanted to be ashes by now. i told my family i don’t want a special meal or a cake or presents, but they’re nice people so they’re insisting. i think my brother feels bad for screaming at me and basically telling me i was worthless, a few weeks ago (the first time he’s ever treated me that way…can’t say i didn’t deserve it haha). he insists on at least picking up good food. why.
i wish i was dead. i have a list of […]