so hard that you almost feel like you are in the past again. Like all the hard work you’ve done to be a better person to have a better life just to end up right back at the bottom. This depression is eating away at me and it is truly agonizing I’ve gone such a long time without feeling suicidal. But yet some how I find myself wishing that I could just disappear and be done with life. I’m destined to be alone and I’m mortified by that because I know it’s true. I am so fucked up mentally and emotionally and every other way […]
Tag:
wants
I feel like I’m several trillion spoons in debt… (if you get that reference)
So, the girl he was after rejected him. No, of course I don’t want him to be miserable but it would have been a bad situation for him to get involved with. He chases perfect little girls around or under 5′ tall and under 100 lbs. This one just so happened to be married (but in process of going to get divorced) with 2 little babies 9 months apart. It would have ruined everyone’s lives because of the things he has attached to his name. Which, could be the reason she had […]
I am okay. I mean, I may want to die, but I am okay with that. I don’t care about much anymore. It’s hard because everyone wants to help, kind of. They don’t want you to kill yourself. So they tell you how you have so much to live for, how they would feel if you left, how nothing lasts forever. I know nothing lasts forever. I just don’t see a reason to keep going, but I do keep going because I don’t really have a choice. What I wish they would see is that there is pain even when I do keep going.
This last week has been a blur.. I dont know what to think, cant seem to identify how i feel. When i think about leaving i seem to think of my kids less lately. And more about the end of feeling. Telling myself shell find someone to step in and in a few months itll be asif i had never even been here. Mom wont care, shell still be focused on success and work after a few weeks again. Dad wants to kill himself to so whats the difference. Im glad my boys are young they wouldnt remember. But i wonder would i be free? […]
I dont even know what to write here, im so lonely, i dont know where home is. Im so embarrassed about how i get when im upset. Im weird and it feels like nobdoy could possibly love me. Its 4:43am and im always awake at this time, i dread the sun coming up so badly every morning. I sleep all day and that helps but at the same time i think it’s not doing me any good. I haven’t worked in like a year. I just dont feel alive, all i crave is to be held but girls dont even like me, im not ugly […]
I’ll be honest i don’t like being on this site. Don’t get me wrong it isn’t you guys its just i rather not feel the need to post. I’m sure that you all can relate. No one wants to live in depression. That said I come back because I have these moments of pure depression. I try to tell myself in these moments i should accept that I feel this way and stop beating myself up for being beaten by life. I work all but 1 day in a culture full of depression triggers. This feeling is as natural as getting sick from a peanut […]
I was depressed before I fell in love. I have to remind myself of that so I don’t think that I am even more crazy to want to kill myself because I lost the person that I love. I. was. depressed. before. I. fell. in. love. I had suicidal thoughts before I met him. I have been anxious and depressed for a very long time. Probably since childhood.
It’s not like I’ve never been in love before. But this time, I thought he was last one I would ever have. We match. He understands me. But I didn’t give him what he wanted. […]
i am fed up with my life. i loose everything in my lyf, i lost my 1st love he dumps me after that i lost my 2nd love u can say 4 years relationship break up. he dump me very badly cant tell u everything, but my 2nd love is my real love. i am tottaly break. and my brother left me. i am doing mca. but can’nt concentrate on my studies due to this i have lots of supplies. and now i lose my job. my mom alwyz teasing me because i am not inteligent and also that because i have bf, not bf he […]
I never thought it would get this way again. Everything was looking up, I was happy. But I guess my happiness always has a nasty habit of running away from me and leaving me like everyone else.
I’m scared. I’m so fucking scared I have no idea what to do. I wake up shaking from anxiety from dreams I can’t remember. I’m not eating, i’m not sleeping. I just got a new job and I don’t even know how I’m going to manage that. I never want to leave the house anymore. What’s the point? I have a boyfriend, things seemed perfect. Maybe i’m just too […]
so last night I was having a conversation with my mum and one thing lead the the other and I basically said I wanted to die I explained how I feel like iv lived enough already and I can’t take no more I haven’t planned on killing my self yet but now I feel worst because she worrying about me I told her not to worry about me and she started crying saying what would become of her she knows I’m in pain but still wants me to tough it out but I’m not as strong as she thinks I am I’m passed breaking point […]
I feel like I’ve posted something like this before…So sorry for a potential duplication. Or…Whatever.
Anyway! A lot of times people will do “weird” things caused by depression, or other “disorders,” that can cause oddball behavior. Half the time – ok, I don’t have actual stats, so I’m basically pulling shit out of my ass – but a lot of the time, the behavior is just dismissed as someone “looking for attention.” This NEVER MADE ANY SENSE TO ME. Even on here, so many posts are about it: I did [behavior] to express that things aren’t ok, and it was just […]
I don’t want to seem like that person who wants to seak attention when I rant or cry out for help on here. I always feel like that’s the case.. But can someone please try and convince me not to do something stupid.. At least by tomorrow..before I go to work…
Sorry for the long whiney post I probably just sounds spoiled
So im now in my husbands aunt and uncles house.laying down and his first cousins bed her room is cute. What would have given to have a room like this while home . i had my own room but it was always undone. and when I was 15 my older cousin took my ipod radio and I didn’t have a TV the time so always in the dark like it like that. I actually got a TV when I was 18 it was a few months before I got married. And i used to stay […]
I can’t live like this anymore. Is it even living? It’s not even surviving. I’m barely existing. My depression is getting worse again. It was just starting to get somewhat better.
My moods are fluctuating terribly, but there’s been some sort of ‘okay’ in there for a couple weeks. Now it’s all just came down so hard and fast over the last few days. It’s making everything else spiral out of control.
All of the voices are constant, including the Angels. The figures are everywhere. I can’t eat. I barely sleep. I don’t want to leave the house. My suicidal thoughts are overwhelming, and I […]
I am 14 years old and the reasons for me to sucude are:
1. My exam pressure is too much, even after studing more than 50? in a year my dad isnt satisfied with 80% of average marks and pressurises me whole day and i know i got no bright future woth this much of marks so i want to end this right now. 2.My dad is very rich but I am too poor, i got a low specs pc which has i3 has outstandjng features, a 1.8 years old phone and my dad doesnt want to buy the s7 edge for me after alot […]
Cold seems crippling lame meander through corridors aroma’s thick
with age mark off the day reflections of my life are fading
Pull me out of body don’t want it don’t want in,
Feeble frail and rotting descending I’m lost in,
A structure that’s collapsing don’t want it cast into,
Maker take the body don’t want it wants me
Past has found its place salvation is no more will god accept my
peace bleached will pardon me reflections of my life are fading
Pull me out of body don’t want it don’t want in,
Feeble frail and rotting descending I’m lost in,
A structure that’s collapsing don’t want […]
Don’t you ever feel numb all over, for no apparent reason? Welcome to the feeling of depression..
I honestly don’t know what to start with, so let me just say this:
Most of myself (my dark, depressing and suicidal self) actually wants me to kill myself, but I don’t think I have the guts to even do it. But I always think about what will happen, and how I wouldn’t have to suffer anymore.
But the (I hate using this word) normal side of me thinks about who it would hurt, and then I’d feel guilty and would want to seek help. But most of […]
Hmm… I can’t exactly be sure why I decided to come to this site, to post about it… But i need to get it out and off of my chest to people who i don’t know. I don’t want my friends and family to know how i feel.
I’ve been depressed as long as i can remember. I remember as a little kid crying and asking my mom weird questions such as
“How do you know if you’re depressed?” “What is depression” “Is depression feeling sad all day?”
I was probably only 6 or 7- but my dad had very bad depression so it wasn’t not talked about […]
so tired I really don’t want to get up one part of me wants to give up the other part wants to push on I feel it’s goin to be one of them days I want it to end before its begins hopefully things change I hope the day runs smooth why is life so complicated sigh
This has been on my mind recently and I think it’s the reason why there is so much mental health issues in the world. I think our society wants to keep its nasty habits and yet still have no issues.
Like one obvious example is that it wants to blast us with models and perfect bodies and yet it doesn’t want people to have bad self imagine. It wants to load the movies, music and media with dark themes yet it wants no violence. It offers and encourages addictive behaviour at every corner yet it doesn’t want addicts. It fights all the bad outcomes with “awareness” […]