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0

I always

September 16th, 2014by I_tried_

Why do I always run from my problems… I’ve deleted my Facebook told a teacher and now I’m trying to get homeschooled because the people at that school are killing me literally

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0

My shroud of darkness… White Lighter, take me

September 16th, 2014by Bisban

 

Xorn

 

-beat at 55-

 

I need to find comrade, today. I walk because I die.

I got a grand a month, I’ll buy the wagon.

Take this book of true-dire and let me live freely like you.

Godmother of Mercy. Sister of Seraphim. Brother of Crusader.

A chained black-beast of ‘Heaven and Hell’.

Do not ever forsaken, “Salvation.”

 

Someone bust the next wrap, we can probably make at least a ‘thou’.

Don’t leave here thy no longer; like a bird, you can open my cage.

Pure alchemy, fortress; fortify my iron-chain of fate, vowed to the death.

The faithfulness of it’s mankind, the fidelity and homage for the undead.

I need to explode in golden-fire from the die.

‘Comrade Of True Life; arrive, awaken’

 …

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0

Fuck

September 16th, 2014by tpc

So I think it’s just hit me that committing suicide is a huge deal when you’re in the right mind set. Something horrible might set someone off and so they kill themselves in that moment without realising what you’ve left behind. I was writing letters to the people in my life that I think would miss me and I said goodbye to my brother which was extremely hard for me. I ended up balling on the floor of my bedroom wondering whether I should continue with my letters or apologise for confusing my brother.

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2

here’s for another day

September 16th, 2014by death bunny

It’s never-ending.

Don’t try and fucking tell me it’s just ‘a phase’, and please, PLEASE, just stop telling me it is going to be okay. I’m sick of your lies. I’m sick of you smiling when I’m covered in numbness. I’m sick of your ‘good morning’s and ‘good evening’s.

 

I hate you for not accepting me, as I try to do that myself. I hate you for being so naive and stupid. I hate you for believing I will be good again. Face it. Me, depression. It took over, can’t you see ma? can’t you see it’s not your son anymore? Can’t you see I’m someone else? …

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2

a day after my birthday

September 16th, 2014by passionfruit3

Today is my birthday.im twenty two.twenty two and unmedicated and suicidal.but heres the thing i dont know if I’ll ever complete suicide.i tell myself i will and i even get as close to swallowing pills or standing on a bridge.but the thing is i seek help or i wait to long and help arrives.on wendsday i want to kill myself but my mind jumps ahead to overdosing and seeking. Help right. After.i believe a lot of this is fear based and this is a cry for help.i just don’t know how. To ask for it ecspecially seeing as the only help the er will offer …

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1

Extinguishing the light that should never go out.

September 16th, 2014by Shephard (Disavowed)

It all means nothing if I have no one to share the glory with, and the struggle which was all too real will be nothing more than a hard fought battle taken on solo by a lost soul who succumbed to defeat long ago – and it’s better to admit defeat than to triumph in a perceived victory when you know very well that you did not earn it.

The few times during my life where I’ve been inexplicably happy can be counted on one hand. I made it my life’s purpose to increase that count tenfold, yet I’m still barely hitting single digits. More than …

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0

Cemetery in Portugal

September 16th, 2014by lonelyplatypus

Literally meaning “Chapel of Bones”, this Portuguese chapel houses two full skeletons that hang on chains in addition to skulls and human bones cemented to its walls. You can also read an inscription at the chapel’s entrance which reads “We bones, lying here bare, are awaiting yours”… I WISH… That’s what I call “good company”.
This is just for sharing, not really for discussing (I am not in a talkative mood right now)…

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1

I’m Not Through Yet…

September 16th, 2014by karmansteward

My name is Karman Quinn Steward, I am 20 years old, and I attempted to take my life. Three times…
March 29th, 1994-June 12th, 2012
March 29th, 1994-February 3rd, 2013
March 29th, 1994-August 18th, 2013
For the first time in a long while, I was boiling with a sick determination. I was ready to make one of the above be the cover of my funeral program. Every one of my family members, friends, loved ones, and everything in between would gather to see me finally at peace. The confusion I thought they deserved would cloud their minds…
“I should have called her more.”
“But she was always smiling! This makes no …

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2

Losing it

September 15th, 2014by superiorClown

The life becomes unbearably painful for me. I’m slowly losing it.

Everything was just as I always wanted it to be. That is, until the third year of college. I did two faculties simultaneously and I started running out of time, sleeping less and receiving not-perfect grades because of that. Then I failed one exam. That completely broke me.

Suddenly problems appeared, all at once. Problems with being gay and not accepting myself because of it (I never loved anyone and never been with anyone, I consider staying in closet forever), with trust, self-esteem, need of approval, enormous stress, problems with physical appearance, money, family and friends relations. …

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1

girl in the front row

September 15th, 2014by tpc

I often wonder what everyone else is thinking. Do they think the same way as I do? Do they have scars under their sleeves? Are they suicidal? I’m 17 and in my final year of high school. I’m sure there is some statistic that tells you one in every x amount of people have depression, and y amount of those people are suicidal. But I really don’t believe in statistics, everyone is different, you know. No one would ever guess how my mind works. I am the quiet girl. She sits in the front seat, laughs with her friends, smiles, comforts people, maintains average grades. …

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3

I Like Cough Syrup (^-^)

September 15th, 2014by TwistedSpace

Gel pills are the best because they taste like nothing, and it’s the more adult way of doing it (whatever that means, huehuehue!). They take me to another world, they make me feel innocent and kind – like a little girl, and ignorance is total bliss when you’re someone like me. :)

190306

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0

????

September 15th, 2014by thatonegirl

I don’t understand I was so damn elated this morning and the past few days and I really thought my life was going to change for the long run but then out of fucking no where a deep sense of sadness hits me and im literally and figuratively aching at this point. This happens too damn often and its the worst??? Why cant I be constantly happy?? Hell, ill take content?? Fuck Ill go from rainbows and fucking rays of sunshine to a damn psycho contemplating whether to walk into a busy road?? I don’t understand?????

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1

Read and die

September 15th, 2014by depressednihilist95

I’m failing college, and therefore wasting both time and money. I’m eighteen and existentially distressed, so how my parents think I know what I want to do in life and how they think that I can put on a happy face and go to college is beyond me. I have no one to consider what I should do with my life with. My parents say “college.” There’s simply no other option.

I don’t know what I want to do in life, to be honest. I’ve had ideas, but they all never worked out. I thought I might want to learn programming, but it’s boring, and boredom …

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16

Farewell SP friends…

September 15th, 2014by Still Lost

As some of you know, I tried most, if not all treatments out there… My psychiatrist abandoned me 6 months ago. We had a close relationship so it crushed me. She energized me and inspired me to do things I never had the courage to do myself. She got sick (but us better now) so she couldn’t manage me being suicidal. Even though she said we could reevaluate after 6 months, she won’t respond to my texts, emails or calls. She is really the only hope I had to get better and stay better. I left her a voicemail this morning saying that I will …

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4

i plan to die tonight

September 15th, 2014by death bunny

But planning is far from actually having the balls to kick the chair.

Swallowed some Xanax, snorted some Clonex, but I’m still restrained to this life, stuck between the living and the dead. The clock strikes three and the sky never seemed darker. It’s time. I am becoming. My soul turn black, my eyes hurt and I’m raped all over. It starts with the stomach, then it goes to the throat and eventually squeezing my skull until my ears are bleeding and my eyeballs hanging outside their place.

It doesn’t matter where I am. As long as I am in my soul, like a body, I’m me, and I’ve …

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4

Why keep trying?

September 15th, 2014by lonelyplatypus

I gave life a go, but it didn’t return the favour.
I gave life enough time to prove itself, but it ignored me.
I am really tired. When I wake up in the morning I am TERRIFIED of what might happen.
I live in fear because I don’t expect anything good.
This MUST come to an end.
I walked through the tunnel only to find a wall on the other side instead of light. I am trapped inside, shaking, not knowing the way out. The tunnel is slowly collapsing and I am buried alive – slowly and painfully.

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1

No will.

September 15th, 2014by lorlypenguin

I used to weigh 120 pounds…now I weigh 200 pounds…I gained all that weight  in less than a year…My fiance had just recently come into money and I guess you could say “we lived the good life”…since then I’ve had nothing but hate for myself.. I take forever to get ready because none of my clothes fit me and I hate to look at myself…now it’s constantly the center of my fiance and I’s arguments..he just doesn’t seem to understand my pain…I used to get comments like of your pregnant? And oh wow why didn’t you say anything(about being pregnant)…and I wasn’t…the sad part is, …

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3

Why can’t dying be easy?

September 15th, 2014by Agony

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5

How do you see it?

September 15th, 2014by tpc

Depression to me is like a little demon/devil that lives inside of you. I watched this video of this guy on youtube who basically said how he viewed depression. He said…
“Humans possess this instinct of survival, humans want to survive, that’s why they eat and they work, all to keep them alive. When you have depression, that instinct vanishes, it isn’t there anymore. You want to die. You don’t see the reason of why you are here or why god put you here. You become confused and eventually kill yourself”
I can’t remember if he said that last part, that might just be my input. …

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4

What happens when you put the phone down on a crisis call?

September 15th, 2014by pinkcoconut

The police turn up at your house. Even when they don’t know where you live.

I called an urgent mental care health line trying to get some help with not hurting myself. The nurse quizzed me on my address because it might affect where I have my CBT. I felt like he wasn’t trying to talk sense into me and was instead just trying to fill out a form. I shouted at him asking him whether he was going to help me right now or not, and he said he needed my address for my long term care. I put the phone down on him. …

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