A year ago i was at this same point thinking life is meaningless and that i should just end it all, but now a year later i can confirm that, the last year i had spent in a relatioship, i didnt feel pointless and my life was meaningless because i had love, but i was still depressed, ive turned to drugs and that the only way i feel normal, i dont do hard drugs just yet but i can tell i will one day soon….. i want to give up on life completely, ive quit going to school and its at the end of year […]
Okay, so I know it’s supposed to be 1 post a day but I need to get this out too. I’ve just been thinking about how hard it is to live – and how hard life is really. But death, it’s such as easy escape. It would be so much weight off my shoulders. It would be all of my problems solved. And for me especially, I have so many ways that I could die like to be honest I should not have the “luck” to be alive today. I could die from eating a peanut, having an asthma attack, cuddling a horse, eating as […]
I realize daily now there truly isn’t a reason. Im 23 its not that im bad looking or unsucessful at all or even that im unintelligent. I was quite blessed to have a good looking face, thousands of people who called me their friend and a wonderful job where the people are always kind. I was also lucky to have the drive to pretty much accomplish anything i wanted and being intelligent enough to have been that kid in school who tutored everyone…
The truth is Im planning on my permanent solution because everywhere i go i just end up hurting people and my past.. growing […]
I feel nothing but pain. The smile on my face is fake. The happy, carefree woman who was a mascot two consecutive years in high school, who sang for small crowds, who wished for world peace when she was younger, who wanted to be beautiful, has died. There is only a broken, tearful, world-weary woman in excruciating pain. A woman who spends her days crying. Who spends her nights crying. Who can’t take the pain.
I feel like I’m a burden to people, and I want to free them from their burden. I make everyone else sad because I have crippling depression, and I’ve had it […]
I don’t know where to start but I’ll just state points. I’m not being negative, I’m just being honest. I almost had 3 attempts that were so thoroughly planned these 2 yrs. I know that the 4th will be attempted with no reverse;)
1) I am too naive for this world. Meaning; my crybaby ass self-has never faded. Somehow it got worse. I am the weakest person to the point of not being able to function properly for at least a min.
2) It’s obvious that I have a mental disorder. I know that it can be managed if I had my mom by my side or […]
If hating me makes you hate yourself a little less, I’ll do that for you…
I’ve long since outlived my welcome and my usefulness.
Precious little goodness have I contributed to this world; nothing to my own credit do I leave behind. Nobody here depends on me, all will be relieved when I’m gone.
I’ve nothing left in this cold, desolate place to hold me here.
I’ve lost it all. There’s nothing left now for me to lose, anymore.
There’s just nothing left. C ‘est la vie.
Sometimes I just feel down and sometimes I feel as if im being held down by something so big I cant breathe It casts a shadow over me I cant quite tell how big but its big enough to cover my mind its so dark I struggle to smile people think they know but there just as lost as me they offer advice but it passes by my head like a breeze not a small breeze its like the breathe of the shadow it inhales and I feel blank then it exhales and still nothing happens im at a stand still but I don’t know […]
I’ve repeatedly been suicidal in the past number of years becoming more and more frequent. That meant that my note has changed over this period naturally. The latest note wrote today is as follows:
I’m sorry to everyone Mum, Dad i’m sorry. I just can’t continue my life means nothing and all i do is cause pain to everyone inside it. The closer you are the worse it is, so i’ve ended it to save everyone from the pain. You will feel better when i’ve done it.
I can’t help but wish i made different choices but all i see is death at the end of the […]
dear anonymousie
there you go
ruining everything again
without even trying to
how pathetic are you?
you want to die,
and it’s so rightfully justified
because you’re mediocre at best
no matter how hard you try
you could eat healthier
exercise more
erase your past
you could do everything he wants
but who says that will make love last?
you’ve made mistakes
many terrible
some preventable
most were accidental
you can try blaming it on
being a millennial
but not all of us
are fuck ups like you
“consistency is key”
the only thing you’re consistent at
is ruining everything for me
you’re the one that won’t let you be happy
you know […]
What do you do when you can’t feel anything?
Just emptiness, numbness… I can’t do anything. I’m suicidal. Ive tried so many times. I tried to get better. I stopped taking antidepressants for 2 months now. I didn’t want to depend on it anymore.
I wrote my suicide not last night because everything is fallen apart so here’s what I say
Dear Family, Friends, and my Boyfriend,
So sorry to do this but if your reading this by now I must be dead there’s so many reason why I’ve decided to end my life here they are
Ever since I was born I was placed in so many fosters homes with so many schools and all the bullies I had dealt with
Dad it was just the two of us before she came in the picture you let her control you and me and I hated it I learned to love her but she still thinks she can ruin […]
Having been hating myself for a long time, I’ve decided that now is a good time to reflect on my good sides.
I’ll start first.
I have a high pain threshold.
I’m witty enough to minimize leaving scars when cutting.
I can’t tolerate hating anybody except mine.
Leave yours in the comment section.
I’m 30 and just wish I had never been born! People who say oh it gets better are just lying or on some powerful drugs. Most of my problems are self inflicted but some aren’t. I’ve tried sucide 3 times and each one failed I’m definitely going to complete it next time fuck life.
I’m 30 never held a job besides a temporary job from a government program. I did county work. That was like 9-10 years ago. I haven’t got a license and I’m obese a virgin can’t even talk to the opposite sex. I hope I die soon. I was molested by a friend […]
I’m trapped. I desperately want to die but doing so would leave my partner in a terrible position financially and as such could lose her daughter and her dog. My mother recently passed and has left me her entire estate in her will. I have been struggling against these feelings for so long and do not want to live another day. I have massive amounts of Seroquel and other rx drugs for the taking and I just want to take a walk to the woods tonight with a case of beer and down as many of them as I can. If I provided a written […]
It’s hard for me to know
Where everything went wrong
Nothing’s getting better
I’ve felt bad for so long.
I’ve fought my inner demons,
But now it’s time for me,
To end this life I hate
And finally be free.
I don’t want to be mourned,
I don’t want you to cry,
I just don’t want this life,
Please; let me die.
Mum, don’t be upset,
I don’t know when I’ll go.
It might be this year,
I honestly don’t know.
I’ve got a guilty conscience,
For what you’ll go through.
Don’t blame yourself, or anyone
It’s what I want to do.
I don’t want to live. I’m going to pick a time that will upset my family the least, then I’m done.
I’ve been keeping myself alive for so long. Failed suicide attempts in the past but none since the birth of my son, who is 6 years old. I love him. Oh how I love him. But I can’t fight anymore.
I was a bit problematic ever since I was in elementary, my dad had another family and left us although he supported our family financially, I still need a dad and I was just around 11 when that happened. When I entered middle school, I had new friends and I was really happy, I started to change and forget the problem/s I encountered. I even thought of studying Psychology and help people overcome their fears, issues and problems. But then recently, I found out I’m suffering Borderline Personality Disorder, I’m impulsive, have low self-esteem and do self-deprecating. I think of myself pathetic. My friend showed […]
Fuckshitshitfuck
first of all im not a native english speaker so this post might look terrible
I tried partially suspension
I thought Ive done more than enough research
so I tried it and tried it for like 3 hours
I just can’t fucking black out. I mean I felt the pain
my head felt like gonna explode
everytime I ‘fine lets do this properly this time’ and then I’m just trying to bear the pressure to my jaw and skull for like 1 min
WTF am I doing wrong
I even ordered a rope on the Internet??????
I’m even starting to think ‘is it my neck too thick?’ sth
I feel like my time is getting close. It’s as if I am ready to go now. I know how I will leave. Just have to put a few things in place…
I am just not sure if I should leave a note behind. What do you think about it? would It help those left behind or do you think it would just make it worse?