Why the fuck after so many years do I still end up coming back here to post about how shitty I feel. Why can’t I just be better? Why can’t this have never happened to me?
The last eight years of my life have been so fucking meaningless. A waste of fucking time. Even now I am wasting time, nothing accomplished and nothing to look forward to. Fuck this.
Well, it is Sunday and things suck.  I know I came here to get a pause on my plan to disappear. Well I have that and have been very honest with the staff here with my feelings, plan and all that is going on.. I was hoping that that would give me some sort of hope so I can extend that pause or better yet turn it off completely.
Well, it hasnt.  I am now in a closely monitored room along with having my CPAP machine for sleeping confiscated.  I know the staff are doing their jobs so I will not vent anger towards them.
I […]
Rickrolled, theo, postalservice, postal, the burrow, 4privetdrive ect…. Banned huh??? I wouldn’t trust anyone you don’t already know they have so many alt accounts.
Seriously not making a scene but they should be gone. Theyve been busted using the same emails for alt accounts and yet still you can’t get rid of them?
Not blaming just confused
It also seems that the abuse they put abandoned through is gone. I’m sorry admin but the fact that the proof is gone and they’re still here really looks like […]
Pele, goddess of volcanoes and fire-
It’s difficult unearthing ancient symbols of strong women and border-line feminism.
Fierce in their endeavors, powerful, and wise. But rare, in those trying days. Irritating, to say the least. Still sifting through chariots and finding good stories though. I found like, two badass goddesses- not very successful –
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I don’t know why nautical metaphor feels so fit for describing depression, the common denominator of loneliness I suppose is unparalleled. The point is; I feel quite alone, especially in philosophic and religious desire. I seek that which is beyond human understanding, and at the same time fully admit that what I am looking for may not be there. Those around me get more and more upset about my qualification that I do not know everything. Yet, there is but one flaw I cannot stand; pretending to know what you do not. So I am disliked/shunned by the religious and the atheists. I have a […]
problem solved, eh? 🙂
trigger warning for mentions of stalking/blackmail/abuse + victim blaming + abuse romanticization + mentions of forced self mutilation… and excessive sarcasm on my part (under the screenshots).
thread 1:Â on my post “liar [internal dialogue]”
thanks for the insincere apology.  how do I know it was insincere? oh, well, I dunno… maybe because you continued to act like this even after I made […]
My bad for not reading the FAQ section for so long, but guys, it looks like you can just report them through the email provided. I’m sure if enough of you say something, she’ll get banned. Please, can we do something about this? The mods don’t have time to watch this site all the time and get involved in everything, clearly, so can we please do this together? I don’t know why I overreacted, but I agree that “theo” has seriously got to go. Sorry didn’t mean to make things worse but I think that’s the route we should all go please I feel silly […]
anyway just leaving this up
“Postal” has made creepy comments bordering on sexual harassment on System’s posts, posts the same incoherent bullshit over and over again while aware of their actions, irritates everybody here except those naïve enough to talk to her, posted stories, selfies and comments that don’t line up and contradict each other, masqueraded as multiple alts, harassed members here with flat out blatant lies, please get rid of them now, I don’t want to see this bullshit when I come here
+Echo has two coextensive histories: the mythological one and the scientific one. Each provides a slightly different perspective on the inherent meaning of recurrence, especially when that repetition is imperfect.
To repeat: her voice has life. It possesses a quality not present in the original, revealing how a nymph can return a different and more meaningful story, in spite of telling the same story.
To illustrate the multiple resonances found in an echo, the Greeks conjured up the story of a beautiful mountain nymph. Her name was Echo and she made the mistake of helping Zeus succeed in one of his sexual conquests. Hera found […]
I’m trying to figure out what I’m doing. So I’ll try to maybe “organize” my pain? I guess? Well, I’ve always been lonely. I’ve never had any close friends. That’s just the case. When I was around 11 years old, or maybe 9, or maybe even earlier, I started having double personalities. To explain, I was one person at school, another person at home. Then eventually, I was one person with one group of people, and another person with another group of people. So when those groups of people met, I didn’t know what to do, and I became nervous, usually just following “the script” […]
I know that there are so many other horrible diseases that need cures but I really wish they would find one for depression. I’m pretty sure we’ve all had our share of hospital stay, pills and therapist. I’ve also been lucky enough to stumble upon this site 6 years ago and have been able to come back whenever I need to vent anonymous and also even though its sucks that anyone has to go through this, but its a little comforting to not be alone. I wish all of us free of the crushing weight of depression.
I made a post yesterday about how I consider my depression of the last 50 years to now be a terminal disease (I am 59 so the math is easy).  I had hoped that I would see some responses, suggestions, and or rebuffs and was sad that I did not, but then again. I am posting here so what should I expect.
I am still in the psych ward of the community hospital and have been here 4 nights so far with tonight to be number 5.  I will definitely see number 6 here because I have been very honest and candid about how I […]
I wanted to make this because I’ve only ever been venting on this forum and being extremely negative about myself all the time. I feel like that’s pretty unfair, so yeah I don’t know.
I had a pretty good day today. I got up at like two in the afternoon, I didn’t eat much, but hey, at least I got up right? Better than not. I tried listening to some new music but I just ended up listening to pretty similar music that I always listen to. Not a huge deal. I watched someone play a horror game too, I’m a big fan of horror games […]
Harassment | the suicide project – suicide stories
this person and ALL of their alt accounts should be banned. they are a troll that doesnt care.
The trust you built then shattered. Lost, alone, and tattered.
I was nothing more than an experiment to you: One successful experiment. I wish I had seen that then, because now I am left with only the destruction you gave me.
I’m so lucky for the man I have now but I can’t even appreciate him because of you: I can’t appreciate me or anything really.
Even the good days are meaningless.
Had it been 3 Days since? The Reason of my Traumata which drained the Happiness, the Hope and the Future in every agreeable Type I had left before the Person decided to repeatedly hit into my Life and disappear did contacted me again, now after a Year ago when the Cause of this Suicidal to the Grave State occured due the appearance of the Person.
The Person relieved me from the Amnesia but forgot to accompany an such crucial and critical Phase of Healing. The Person intended to Help me, and I gave all I got into it. I understand when the Person eventually did not […]
Are you doing okay?
$20 at a time.
I have enough left to pay it all back at once but that would leave me with only $10 (I have ~$90 but I want to take out another $20 for this weekend) “hey can I get $80 in cash even though I have zero way to spend it because covid feels like shunning me for having physical and mental problems” yeah…. No.
However the cats tracker tags are on the way so at least I made a responsible purchase with the money I do have. My coffee on the other hand is still on hold and even though it physically hurts way […]
Please log in to report posts