Hello everyone, sorry to do this on here but I have no other options, (I’ll make this short)I want to find someone like me so this site works….Anyway I am a male 44 years old and I’m looking for a female close to my age that I can go “through the struggle” with, someone that can cook and is depressed and anti-social like me, I have my own apt and live in the Midwest, please let me know if interested and please no rude/negative comments if you don’t like this just keep scrolling, thank you
I was born to die. I am literally the embodiment of everything that can drive a person to suicide. Mental illness. Genetics. Biology. Trauma (emotional / sexual). Grew up with a mentally ill parent. Bullied. 2 prior attempts. All the ingredients are there. I spent over a decade in college exhausting every avenue of possible things I could’ve done with my life. I finally found my calling and my passion as a first responder working in EMS. Now there’s all kind of stupid bullying going on and drama. I feel trapped. This job is all I have. It was my purpose. It’s the only thing […]
Feeling down, feeling like sh!t
I don’t know if you’re still here. I can’t claim to understand what your deal is. But it doesn’t matter– I could have, and should’ve handled that differently regardless of who you are. I feel like you were playing games with us here and that’s not appropriate, but maybe you couldn’t help yourself, but I still think that’s no excuse to act that way. No one wants to watch someone abandon their self respect and mutilate themselves. I know if anywhere were to be the place for that to be acceptable it would seem to be here. But it isn’t. And if we look at […]
Not suicide related
It’s hard not to feel like scum….
guys i’m so done done with everything i don’t see a point in living anymore i’m in my worst spot and i don’t even know why.. glass is shattering all around me and there’s no way out…help > email: andriannamueller@gmail.com
When you don’t care about anything anymore?
When you’re not doing anything to help yourself
When you’re only doing destructive things (in my case, literally not doing anything)
I’ve fallen into a deep pit of depression, despair, and self-loathing.
I cannot get out of this deep pit; it takes too much effort to.
While I don’t drink or do drugs, being depressed and doing nothing with my life is just as destructive. I don’t go out, I don’t have friends, I barely go out to get food to feed myself. It’s pathetic. I feel half dead already, not living life.
All I do every […]
”I still love you as much as i did then which is totally a whole frikin lot! I’ll never leaveeee youuuuu because i needdddddd youuuu foreverrrr innnn myyy lifeeee (yes there is a tune to that, my own kind of tune that is) Well my sweet sweet love i’m going to sit in front of the heater my feet seem to be going nmb from the coldness. I LOVE YOU LIKE A FAT KID LOVES CAKE”
but then you left us all.
i hate this.
I hate my life.
I hate who I am.
I hate how I’ve wasted so many years of my life.
I hate that I’m too afraid to do anything.
I hate that I’m not really good at much at anything.
What do you do when you’re in love with your best friend and he has fallen for someone else. I know I’m about to pick up the piece of his broken heart but there is nothing I can do to stop him from getting hurt again. Nobody is ever gonna love him like I do. I’m Ms. Nice Girl. Girl only want sex from him but he is all I want. His entire personality and everything about him makes my heart melt into a thousand pieces and I love him. He has been there for me always. But right now he is playing with my […]
anyone looking for a positive place to hangout, work on recovery, things like that, i have a friend that made a discord and id like to share it with you guys for anyone that wants to join. you dont have to be in recovery but like i already said it is a place of positivity. totally free to vent about your day or whatever so it doesnt have to be 100% positive all the time. basically read the rules, be nice to others and youre fine.
https://discord.gg/pjrtUQaU (expires daily. if you want to join leave a comment below and ill update it)
This world is like a prison for souls. I believe I have a soul because I felt a deep pain in my chest which is not physical, every time I got upset. I don’t understand this world. I always retain and remember people’s zodiac signs. I feel like many people are fake. I don’t have deep relationships with anyone. I live with my mother and grandmother for the last five or more years and I had many upsets because of them. I also take some pills for mental health over the last ten years but I’ve had many ups and downs daily and many revelations […]
No idea what the fuck I’m doing with my life. My entire life has imploded and welp maybe it is for the best. Maybe finally starting the 4th quarter of my life single is best.
Maybe just not being raped and abused is best. But FFS does change have to be so hard? I go back and forth between hope and hopelessness. Hate and sorrow. Nothing to show for almost two decades. Nothing but a few trinkets and well…
Thought of just putting a gun in my mouth again. I fantasize about that way too much. It never […]
Many nights I think about doing it
imdoneliving i hate life nothing matters pls help btw my email is in my other post titled ‘hi”
does anyone else have really vivid dreams? sometimes i get them mixed up with reality and it’s so weird because the people i meet in them feel like real friends, real people. it’s sad too, i feel like i’d be a lot better off just sleeping and dreaming forever . anyways i hope everyone’s doing alright although if you’re here that’s probably not the case.
guitars were put out into the rain, being yelled at for knocking on the door of the house i live in, and now my ‘cats’ are apparently a large burden. [my two cats, [who have an outdoor enclosure and are both adults, desexed, and lovely [AND INVITED HERE]] [[already lost 5 others who i love just as much]] because of this type of bullshit and coming here to support these fuckwits], recently i’ve even been grilled for buying my nephews takeaway or bringing them to visit family. lol. all the while i’m trapped in a fucking shoebox next to a toilet whilst being the only […]
I recently saw a documentary titled “Encounters at the end of the world). It describes people that Werner Herzog (called narrator from now on) encounters in Antartica. At some point, the narrator discusses with a scientist studying penguins. The narrator asks if there is such thing as insanity among penguins, although he admits he is trying to avoid the definition of insanity or derangement. Could they go crazy because they had enough of their colony? The scientist replies that he has never seen any penguin bash their heads on a rock. But they do get disoriented. They end up in places they should not be, […]
I dreamt a lot last night. It wasn’t pleasant (it rarely is.) I dreamt of doing terrible things. Or wanting to do them. Of being on the verge of doing them.
And I dreamt of figures from my past, in new contexts. But I felt their disdain for me, and knew it was well earned. That they despised me, and were not wrong to do so. I had pretended to be someone else, and my true worthlessness had been revealed.
I don’t know at what point I became worthy of such disdain. I feel it was long before my worst acts. Maybe my personality was always shameful. […]
I feel like I’m insane like I can’t get a grip. I am trying so hard to keep it together every day and not lose it completely. I have internal battles, I can’t make decisions because I can’t trust that I am in the right head space and I second guess every decision I make. I exhaust myself, the smallest of things have set me off into a rage and I can’t control it. I cry to myself daily and the tears never stop. I have dark thoughts about offing myself constantly and I have to fight that away and it gets harder to do […]