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Hello again

by Jazzmoses
written by Jazzmoses

It’s been a very, very long time. Last time I posted something, I was a freshman in high school and my mom had just left.

I am now a senior in high school, hoping to graduate, and struggling. I somehow turned into one of those kids that don’t try in school. The ones that go to school with bruised knuckles after having punched a wall out of anger. I thought that was incredibly stupid of them. Now I’m typing with bruised knuckles, a result of anger. Not anger at the life that was given me, but at myself.

So much crap has happened over the years, so […]

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Advice!

by Dodgeem
written by Dodgeem

I’m 46. I was a child of 2 sexual abusers for years. Ok! I had to finally accept that in my adulthood. I dealt with domestic violence abuse from someone that was suppose to love my children and I. I protected my children the best I knew how. After dealing with it for 8 years, I finally found a way out for my children and I. I attended college for 2 years and eventually married. I raised my 3 and his 2, but tragically in 2007, I lost a child to post bmt. I busted my ass everyday to try to save her with hardly any […]

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Some advice

by copenhagentojapan
written by copenhagentojapan

Been lurking on and off in the dark periods of life for years, now I’m looking for some advice.

I’m m27 and probably been depressed more or less for 10 years+. I’m finally getting some help and facing a lot of fears and problems that I’ve ignored. Due to being depressed and that leading to anxiety and some degree of isolation how do you return to normal life and in particular dating when you feel like you cant tell anybody about the last 10 years because you fucked up everything by either being sad, selfdestructive or wasted?

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Restless

by J Doe
written by J Doe

Hello.  Today was a bit rough.  I have a little under two weeks left for school.  I just need to get through it.  Around this time I get kind of depressed.  I am never comfortable around people and school is the only time I am ever around people.  When it comes to summer, I do my utmost to stay away from public places.  However, I can’t help but feel kind of shitty when going back to that routine.  It means I really am alone.  When you have no reason to be around people, it means people have no reason to be around you.  You are […]

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Life of Agony

by nuclearbackpack
written by nuclearbackpack

Well after years of social isolation suicidal depression and stress the chickens are finally coming home to roost.  I no longer have the will to live and spend half the day in bed. I am on antipsychotic medication and am due a hospital assessment to determine whether I need hospitalizing.  As a loser and social misfit I need a miracle to get out of this trap. Suicide is of course so final and hard to face but I feel is my only option as my life has become sheer agony. My only tears are for those I’ll leave behind.  No one can help me, no […]

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Trapped

by Casino96
written by Casino96

A while back, maybe a couple months ago, I learned that my younger brother has had suicidal thoughts. He doesn’t know I know that. I found a few discarded journal pages lying around while cleaning up the spare room I’m staying in. I don’t know if this is a current thing or not but it scares the hell out of me. Not even for the obvious reason of him harming himself in any way, because I’m almost positive he wouldn’t. It’s because now I don’t know how badly it would affect everyone when I do finally kill myself, and the last thing I want in […]

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by NicoleK
written by NicoleK

I think I’ve finally decided suicide is the only option for me. It used to be one of a few, but those seem to have disappeared. I just can’t take it anymore. I am exhausted and at my threshold of pain and bullshit. I’d do it tomorrow if I had enough pills. I will have to wait for a refill. Time to plan and get things in order.

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Claw Ring

by Cordless
written by Cordless

clawring
.
For about ten years I wore a pair of hematite rings.
Usually they don’t last that long because they can be brittle.
Mine finally broke awhile back, and I enjoyed searching for a suitable replacement.
Something which was interesting but still dark and angsty.
I decided on this.  I think it’s pewter.
Gotta love the all-enveloping claws of doom.

I wear it every day.

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In control

by Marissa
written by Marissa

Today was really hard. Couldn’t study for my final because all I kept thinking of were ways to get away with dying.

I failed my final. Possibly didn’t pass that class. Money spent for nothing. Parents are going to give me shit of course. I won’t ever finish college.

I lost a family member today. Talked someone out of not killing herself over a guy. Isn’t that weird how we can tell people it’s going to be okay and how suicide isn’t the answer?

When I’m cutting, I feel so in control of how deep I can go. I want to just hit a vein and be like […]

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Just checking in

by kismet
written by kismet

Hi guys.  It’s been awhile since I’ve been here.  I have pretty much been doing the ‘keepgoingandhopeitgetsbetter’ thing.  You know- putting off til tomorrow what I don’t really have to do today.  There have been a couple new developments in my life.

For the past twelve months I’ve been staying with my parents again.  Yes, I’ve been on my own since 20 and have now, after some major life events, had to swallow my pride and move back in, in my 30s.  Well, finally my patience has been rewarded and in a few weeks I’ll be moving back into a place of my own.

I’ve also started […]

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Im tired

by Dungeon
written by Dungeon

This is ridiculous, I know it’s not supposed to be easy or simple. But I’m just too tired to do this anymore, I don’t have anything left in me.

I physically feel like gravity is getting stronger by the day. I keep thinking about the bridge. About the feeling of falling, how it feels to know it’s finally over and it can’t be stopped. To feel the world pull me down. The air blocking all the noise around me. But the one thing I always wonder, should I jump forward and watch the water get closer or backwards and watch the sky get further.

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not doing so great,

by quietcheep
written by quietcheep

i’ve been having a very difficult time lately. i have a lot of health issues both mental and physical and they’re finally catching up to me. it’s been very difficult holding on, but even more so now than before because my family is now explicitly honest about how they feel about my condition.

my health issues have gotten to the point where i can’t work. i can’t function on my own anymore. i am a burden. i’ve been in the gray area of suicide since the age of nine and i’ve only been open about it in the last two years. it’s gotten worse. everything has gotten worse […]

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@ Salt, this was the old piece i was looking for

by Procel
written by Procel

Wrote it back in 2012, about depression, finally found it hidden in the recesses of my computer.

That little bastard never sleep, always does he creep,
Here now it seeps through me,
Everywhere I am he never agrees,
Righteous ************ just please,
Ease the fuck up you squeeze too tight.

Inside my head you infest,
Silent screams making me depressed.

How the fuck did you get so loud,
Over the others you reign supreme in your own shroud,
Please ************ shut up cause here’s the crowd,
Every voice you ground out now we back ***** shouting loud.

No more will I listen to you,
Every moment dragging me down […]

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Ylem is Okay

by Ylem
written by Ylem

Yes. I’m okay.

I can finally breathe. Exams are over. 2 rotations down, 4 more to go.

I feel… Alive.

No cutting needed. Haven’t made a cut in over 2 months.

Suicide thoughts… What is that again?

I’m moving on. I’m moving forward. Ylem is getting her life back on track and I couldn’t be happier.

I’ll make a proper update when I’m not as busy. Just wanted to pop in, say hi and see how all of you have been doing.

Keep smiling peeps.

Ylem is out!!

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Random Rant Mumbled Into Cyberspace

by Cordless
written by Cordless

Chimichangas are awesome, and so is General Tso’s Chicken, but Thursday I discovered that if you consume both of them in the same day, you will fart approximately 1,391 times. Which isn’t the best situation if you’re in public trying to get things done.

Also I went to pick up my refills Thursday and the pharmacy LOST my prescription. As in, I wasn’t even in their system anymore. So they had to look me up in a different computer and refill everything all over again. And it took them FOUR TIMES before they finally put it through the right insurance and got everything to ring up […]

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Letting Go

by jay7436
written by jay7436

I’m finally letting go. Life just keeps on getting worse. Nothing good ever happens anymore. I always have to put up a façade that I’m happy and hope that people don’t see what is really going on. I know if I act unhappy, people will ask and I know I will never be able to give a good enough answer without everyone being suspicious. I know I have to ‘catch the bus’ soon. I always wonder if there is an afterlife or if we just turn into ghosts and just lurk around, basically stalking people just we aren’t really there. I know I’m going to […]

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Friday is near

by Sui the Bunny
written by Sui the Bunny

IMG_20160406_212523 It may look like scribbles to you but they are words just 2 words “worthless” and “useless”  (there is more words I have written this way but can’t bend my arm to get a pic) I needed to feel something I need to feel pain. (I also drew death with his scythe which I can’t bend my arm far enough to take pictures of that…) No I’m not bleeding tbh the site of blood makss me feel quite queasy. But I […]

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