Tag:

maybe

Alone

by thehusk 5/14/2016

written by thehusk

I don’t know how to live with this. With myself. I’m full of hatred & negativity. I feel so alone, & lost. I am a terrible person, but I don’t have it within me to be better. I can change my actions, but my underlying view of life remains the same. The problem is fundamental to who I am. No matter how many new starts I make, I will eventually drag myself down.

I have cut myself off from all humanity. I am completely alone. There is no meaning to anything I do. I go through the motions, clinging to the vestiges of life. But it’s […]

5/14/2016 4 comments

Giving up

by alyzabelli4 5/12/2016

written by alyzabelli4

Everything is my fault it seems , I can’t be happy for more than a two hours , I’m giving up , I push everyone away so they won’t get hurt when I’m gone , and maybe by making people hate me it won’t be so hard . I’m giving up and I’m counting down the days . I can’t wait to be free from everything I can’t wait to be somewhere where I can be happy . I have given up and I have set my mind . I hope I can help others I hope one day people won’t be so sad that […]

5/12/2016 0 comment

Remember when we didn’t existed ?

by Lacalamity 5/11/2016

written by Lacalamity

Man oh man I surely miss those times before I was born, felling nothing, no hunger, no thirst, no emotions and times flew bye so fast don’t you think guys ?

So yeah I really want to go back to those good days, I don’t want a paradise or hell, I don’t want to be conscious, maybe because I fear to see my family from the otherworld.

But jeez it is so tempting, the good old days, jokes on me if we live again the same life.

so yeah, loosing it soon as time goes bye and as the gun locker laughs at me.

If anyone wants to know […]

5/11/2016 6 comments

Distrust

by YoungGods 5/10/2016

written by YoungGods

If my parents ever divorced I wouldn’t be able to choose which one I’d live with. So from my previous post not long ago this memory came to me. My dad and I were in the parking lot at a restaurant about to go inside when my mom called in. I don’t remember what they talked about but when my dad hung up he was pissed. He asked me if I would want to go on a trip with him, England exactly, just him and me. I didn’t say anything. I didn’t know why he was saying it. But it hurt. Did he want to […]

5/10/2016 3 comments

Sketching something

by Cordless 5/8/2016

written by Cordless

I mentioned in an earlier post that I wanted to try sketching some things.
I couldn’t find an app that did what I needed, so I just drew on a sheet of paper and took a picture of it.
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sketch-cryleaf
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I haven’t taken any art classes, and I realize this is nothing compared to the amazing things some of you have posted.

Still I’d like to keep working on some projects, and maybe I will get better as time goes on.

If nothing else, maybe this (plus my […]

5/8/2016 41 comments

Well…. this is it

by The Advisor 5/8/2016

written by The Advisor

I’m pulling the plug in 9 days and to be honest, not entirely regretting it. This is the first time I’ve had control over anything and it’s nice. I mean, it sucks, but in the end, maybe this is for the best. For me. For everyone . Because this is not a disease. This is a result of just not feeling anything but pain. Pain that no one should have to endure.

I searched for 6 years for someone who cared. It took me maybe a month to drive her away. If I could just have one thing before I die, I just want to hear […]

5/8/2016 2 comments

Gold Flakes in my poo.

by Alan Ominous 5/6/2016

written by Alan Ominous

Drink enough gold schlager you can too.

All jokes aside. I don’t drink. Read this in an optimistic tone: things suck right now. They’ve sucked for awhile. Maybe they always will. Who knows? You surely don’t. If you’re the religious type, Bible says path to heaven is narrow and hard to find. Not sure that’s my flavor. Point is, living a good fulfilling life is hard as fuck.

I see a lot of people ask, I’ve asked myself even, why bother? Why not? See you and I , we’re the same. Everyday, we stare death in his face and say “fuck you! Bring it knob gobbler!” […]

5/6/2016 18 comments

May 7, i hope is my last day

by icantevenfindaname 5/6/2016

written by icantevenfindaname

well i kinda fucked up my whole life, just turned 18 in April, and i have no hope of living my parents love me to bits but i have given them enough pain to and made them cry so many times that i am a disgrace to this world. my whole family praises my sister and my cousins who are extremely smart and doing well in life though they have smaller problems they have never let down their parents but i just can’t get out of it, i fucked up in school got terrible grades, and now i fucked up in uni by getting terrible […]

5/6/2016 7 comments

sharing some music that helps me.

by Cold_Sleep 4/29/2016

written by Cold_Sleep

Some music that helps me cope with depression and ease the pain,

I hope you might discover a song or two that you will like or even maybe it will help you in someway,

or at least it will give you an appetite for searching new music or songs.

I have try to shorten the list, and divide songs in some fashion for a little easier overview.

If you find a song that you like, please let me know, also post a song that you like and I will check it out!

PART I.

— music & lyrics + “the feelings so deep and true” —

Dark Tranquillity […]

4/29/2016 2 comments

Last few weeks of the semester = Disaster

by Bri 4/27/2016

written by Bri

I’ll be quite honest here. I’m barely holding myself together. My family has such high hopes for me, but I just can’t handle this. As soon as I graduated I was thrown into college, being told “I know you, if you take a break you won’t go back.” Maybe that’s true, but maybe when I imagined college I had dreamed of doing something that involved something I love, like art or music. I never imagined I’d be sitting in a class room with these people who are always over dressed and at least twice my age. I never once thought I’d be a business major. […]

4/27/2016 5 comments

It’s all so meaningless

by tryingtohope 4/22/2016

written by tryingtohope

Thanks to those who responded to my first post. It was nice to be heard.

It was another horrible morning. I wake up in so much physical and emotional pain. I don’t know how much longer I can take it.

Sometimes when I’m out in my car I just want to close my eyes and let my car soar off the edge of the road or something. I wonder if in that instant of being airborne I would have regrets and want to go back.

This is probably the only place I can say it: one of the reasons I haven’t done it yet is because I’m afraid I’m […]

4/22/2016 4 comments

first post.

by Soco 4/22/2016

written by Soco

whats on my mind…..well suicide. It has been for as long as I can remember, in one form or another. The last month it has gotten stronger tho. I watched “the bridge”, and now cant stop watching the footage of people jumping off the bridge. The thought of the release of pain when at last u get to fly must be beautiful. I think thats why people choose that method. Anyway I opened up and told my wife about what ive been watching and my thoughts on it and she was shocked and worried. I do suffer mental illness and we both have […]

4/22/2016 6 comments

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by quaero 4/22/2016

written by quaero

I had a job. A government job- with job security, promotion, retirement pension and all. I resigned on 2nd of this April. I have seen it all now. They can’t claim I was just a dreamer not knowing world and worldly ways. Though I hate society and its system to the very core of my being, I always gave them benefit of doubt thinking that maybe, just maybe they know something I don’t. Maybe things change with a job and responsibility. Anyway, on the positive note, nobody can claim I don’t have experience of worldly ways now. But it changed nothing. And I don’t know where to go […]

4/22/2016 1 comment

Maybe this is part of my rewards

by noneedforaname 4/21/2016

written by noneedforaname

I keep thinking about what I might’ve done in my past to deserve a life like this, and I realized that I screwed up alot, nothing really intentionally. So by my account I should be even with the house, debt paid in full. It seems that not the case, so now I’m beginning to wonder if this is just the hand I’ve been dealt and I just gotta play it out ??? Like I said, I’m no angel but as an adult I’ve grown and always tried to learn from my mistakes, I try to help, and give, […]

4/21/2016 3 comments

Uncertainty

by dividebyzero 4/19/2016

written by dividebyzero

Uncertainty is probably the thing I hate most about life. Or maybe it’s feelings. If I had no feelings, or if I could regulate them like a normal person, uncertainty wouldn’t bother me. I often beat myself up or behave self-destructively because even though it makes me feel miserable, I’m in control of that misery. Which often seems infinitely preferable to taking a risk and making myself vulnerable to acute uncontrollable emotional pain.

I have to make a big decision by tomorrow about my next job. A lot of people would probably want to be in my situation, but I can’t stop dwelling on the downside […]

4/19/2016 1 comment

Change..

by nonexistingsoul 4/15/2016

written by nonexistingsoul

It’s been a long time since I posted something here again. So here I am, still alive. Remember my post entitled “April 2”? that should be my date of death. I should’ve been dead by now. But still, I’m alive. But now I wish I wasn’t. I regret choosing to live again. I thought everything might turn out good this time. I tried changing. But every time I’m trying, something bad always happens and it drags me down deep. And when I thought I was getting better, it turned out worse. As usual, I still do self harm scars. I still think about suiciding. And […]

4/15/2016 1 comment

Wish someone could follow me around all day to know how much my life sucks

by blank-clutter 4/14/2016

written by blank-clutter

This is a scenario I have played out a few times in my mind. I sometimes wish I had an observer so I could show them all the mental suffering I go through on a daily basis. Everything from how interactions with people is basically me being an anxious, dumb minded wreck to seeing how little enjoyment I get from the things I should be enjoying.

Ideally the observer should be placed in my head and feel the same things (ooo maybe a cool sci fi story can be made about this). They eventually will soon realize that something must be done and this state cannot […]

4/14/2016 2 comments

I don’t see a reason not to

by haileewantstobehappy 4/10/2016

written by haileewantstobehappy

I’ve been flirting with suicide a lot more lately, and I’ve realized that it’s the only way out of the mess called my life. It’s shitty, but it’s what it is. I wasn’t blessed with a good life or happiness, I don’t get the same things other people get. This isn’t a suicide note or anything, just writing my feelings. But I’ve realized that the only thing stopping me from killing myself is fear. It’s a cliché fear but I don’t want to stop existing for eternity. I just want to be happier. And there’s a tiny bit of hope that I’ll finally be happy […]

4/10/2016 1 comment

Hey

by Jojoistired 4/10/2016

written by Jojoistired

It is my first time to post anything, not my first time to think about hanging up the hat. Life can be what one makes of it and often what you see mainly depends on what you look for. I’m 32 and have always looked for the best in people. I was taught to love and forgive, to turn the cheek and be selfless. It made me a clueless person and an easy target for lots of things. My childhood wasn’t exactly sheltered,PTSD and daily panic attacks have been the norm for three decades. Between witnessing my mom commit suicide and living among […]

4/10/2016 1 comment

Old habbits

by kupo95 4/9/2016

written by kupo95

edit

This made sence .

Find myself repeating to my old habit. To be alone secluding myself keeping away from others. Not Wanting to talk to anyone . Constantly being angry all the time when others are playing and having just outside my room I sit in bed try to ignore them and I try to go to sleep but instead I just think of how useless how worthless nothing unhappy how sad I am and feel bad for a worthless piece of piece […]

4/9/2016 3 comments

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