I had a job. A government job- with job security, promotion, retirement pension and all. I resigned on 2nd of this April. I have seen it all now. They can’t claim I was just a dreamer not knowing world and worldly ways. Though I hate society and its system to the very core of my being, I always gave them benefit of doubt thinking that maybe, just maybe they know something I don’t. Maybe things change with a job and responsibility. Anyway, on the positive note, nobody can claim I don’t have experience of worldly ways now. But it changed nothing. And I don’t know where to go […]
I sit here in utter amazement like I have so many times before, paralyzed stuck on the couch where I’ve been since last night on the down side of this GOD FORSAKEN rollercoaster. It seems like the older I get, there’s not as many highs as there used to be just down, deeper and deeper, when I finally do reach the bottom there’s not even a little bit of light anymore, and it takes so long to reach the top again, I suppose I will get up soon and try and find something, anything to ease the pain like […]
Im in angry state right now with all little things in my life that has happend. In first place I angry for me for not solving my social anxiety. In second place im a feel myself as failutre for not accomplishing much in life an in failing in many times in different areas of life. I angry at people because i think they take advantage of me or are not reliable. I SEE A LOT OF POSTS HERE WITH THESE COMPLAINTS. But at the same time i feel its all my fault for not going for it.Being a lazy ass and not trying. […]
Just a post to say thank you to the awesome dudes/girls who replied to my first post and helped me out. I am truly grateful that you cared enough to reply and offer me support and sympathy. And especially for not preaching the feel good bullshit that is on 99% of help sites online.
I kind of feel as if I’ve hit a point in life, as if I am waking up to who I really am. It is terrifying but I have to be me. No matter how I am on the outside, my soul and brain are still me. It’s time for me to […]
Everything in my life is gone. My partner, my friends and my work. Life is not really worth living. I feel so much pain, anxiety and will not living. I feel the end is near. I had it all and lost it all.
I posted a while ago about a test I was having done. I got the results today……..
I Have to go back in for surgery because they found some pre cancerous cells and need to be sure there is not cancer hiding behind the small sample they took.
Not much in my life can be a simple yes or no UGHHHHH
I know, i know…this is a rather touchy subject. The fact of you leaving will hurt many people.
Lets just be clear, i am not suggesting or supporting that anyone leave this world, simply stating an opinion anyone may think on.
So your there, in that moment, yes you know the one. And all you can see is you hurting people if you left. Which is true. You will. Theres no doubt in my mind of that. But lets..just…step back moment from thinking about that.
Lets talk about me. I’ll be the genii pig in this example. If i were to leave. Right now..i would hurt lots of people. […]
I am sick of my life. The only thing stopping me from killing myself is my cat. I have promised I won’t leave him.
I am trapped in a life that I never chose for myself. There is no way out. I’m tired of carrying on, day after week after year, with no hope for a future.
I have tried everything I can think of. Everything I can realistically do. I’m not depressed. I’m just tired of my life.
Please, don’t anybody give me the usual bullshit that’s found on the internet. “It gets better” Really? It’s been shit for the past 28 years and *really* shit for […]
I’ve come so far, and have tried too hard to just give up now… But I’m angry, and I’m hurting deep inside too badly… I’m angry because everyone has tried so hard to help me, my therapist, psychiatrist, friends amd family… But no one can seem to rid me of this nightmare… I have tried so many medications just to be let down in the end… I’m angry because the last thing I want to do is give in now… I HATE the fact that I’m even considering suicide; but there is nothing left for me anymore…
I’ve tried to […]
I’ve been lurking on this sight for months now: but just recently made an account. I’m not sure if I waited so long because I was nervous about posting or because I didn’t want to push my problems onto others. But anyways, I guess now is a good a time as any. A little background before I get into what I really want to talk about, my dad was a very abusive drunk and mother left us relatively young due to a substance abuse problem. I was always looking for a way out, a way to find some normalcy in my life. Eventually I found […]
You ever just wish there was a button that would end it all? I would have been dead a long time ago. I would be dying right now. My life just kind of hit the fan. I’m 32, my girlfriend/fiance of 4 years just broke up. I was a complete asshole so deserve the pain I am feeling right now. I think this must be the most depressed I have ever been. And I’ve been in the hospital 3 times for attempts…major failure at death apparently. I feel so utterly depressed about my situation that my mind is even too clouded to think seriously about […]
So I watched two Matrix like movies (World on a wire & The thirteenth floor) and this documentary and I’m back to the thinking world again.
What is life and how are we any different from, say, a rock? I can’t get my head around feeling like a character in video game. What if I’m told today by a supernatural being that this really is a simulation and I’m a Mario like character in it? What difference will this revelation make in my life? I don’t think it will bring any difference. I will keep suffering from same things I suffer now. The state I’m […]
I think that I’m past the point of being depressed. Feeling has gotten old and I’m tired of it.
I was doing good for a little while, after I had attempted and survived my first suicide attempt in high school. I found things that helped, like meditation and mindfulness.
I read some self help books that really changed the way I think (I’m only mentioning this incase someone reads this, I HIGHLY recommend you read some books by Eckhart Tolle: A New Earth & The Power Of Now)
I used to be a good person. I don’t know if I am anymore. It’s been a while since anyone […]
This morning I was thinking of posting my last thoughts somewhere, just in case. I’m glad I came across this.
I will kill myself on an August 15th. I don’t really know the year, but that date will be. I’m supersticious of a certain event and I want to try out if it’s real or not.
The only thing that has kept me alive until now is anime, and will still until the August 15th.
My parents blame anime of my “weird” condition. What they don’t know is that it’s because of them I want to kill myself
I’ve tried so hard to get away […]
This is just the same old post, made because I’m feeling lost and lonely and don’t know what else to do.
My life is probably not worth living. I don’t anticipate much in the way of happiness or meaningful events down the road. Generally speaking, anything involving human relationships is a non-starter. I’m not particularly artistic or creative. I don’t really believe in anything strongly, or care about anything that much. In other words, I am a void. My life is a big fat zero. And that feels terrible. All the things that you could’ve been, that you were supposed to be. And you’re not. You’re this. […]
I’m easy to scare. To deal with my overwhelming anxiety and depression I’ve been watching scary clips on YouTube. Anything that I can find from ghosts caught on tape, strange disappearances, weird coincidences, creepy pasta… Anything. It helps. I get scared. It’s become addictive to feel scared of the paranormal instead of just having this agonizing anxiety. I actually welcome a ghost. Anything to shake up my life, anything for a moment not to think about my constant pain.
The thing is, I don’t really know if I believe in any of it. I still get creeped out. But being creeped out feels so much better […]
Hello guys. I don’t know where to start. This is my first post here.
I have borderline personality disorder and find it nearly impossible to have meaningful and healthy relationships. I feel so alone all the time and have no one I can talk to about it. When I try I get the stereotypical “try to be less negative.” This loneliness leads to hatred. Hatred of happy people. Hatred of laughing kids. Hatred of those with good jobs and loving girlfriends. Hatred of the world; and even more hatred for those who can’t see how fucked up it is. This hatred drove away my girlfriend, it […]
Not really sure why I’m doing this, I stumbled across this site to let family and friends know if something was to happen. Coming here I’ve read a lot of people’s personal struggles, and my heart goes out to you all, and to you FUCKS out there with your perfect lives, well you can chew on this, cause if anyone can go through what I have and not think about putting a fuckin hole through the back of your head, well you’re definitely a better man than me, so here it goes. Not gonna bother with my miserable childhood, I’ll just say my pops isn’t […]
Just a picture I threw together on my phone in like ten minutes. But a bunch of shit in my life right now just became more shitty. And my mom was confused why I reacted the way I did because my life is just so great, at least she thinks. 1. She’s only there for the good parts. 2. She doesn’t know anything I’m dealing with. 3. I don’t have god shitting his shiny gold turds into my life […]
Malicious neighbour who always try to put us down and got away with their petty revenge in the past threaten to sue my family over our car Back Up Alarm. They mock and taunt us that my family can get a heavy fine, arrested, and owe them compensation money in return. The worst case scenario is that we live in between them and their in-law family down the street who kids are just as bad. They are like ping pong balls bouncing back and forth leaving the mess behind on our driveway.
Basically, they have been openly overconfident and obnoxious ever since they snapped […]