I should just let him fuck me whenever he wants. Even if I have his words playing in my head over and over. Even though I’m so stressed out that my period actually stopped for two months. I tried to reach out to people. Tried to find a friend in those who were there before but that was a mistake. I go online and type “My boyfriend wants to have sex but I don’t”. Found ONE article in which the answer-er was sympathetic. The rest were all leaning towards compromise. “It’s your obligation as a woman to meet your mans needs.” Go fuck yourself you […]
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needs
There are a number of tasks I need to do today, but I lack the emotional drive for any of them. An exam. Work. What does any of it matter? What’s to stop me from ending it all? What are the moments I live for? Most of the moments in my life are all pretty boring since I spend them by myself anyway. I claim to have aspirations like traveling, maybe agriculture later on, and going to Japan (if only to visit Aokigahara), but when I think about it, none of these things really seem like they’d be that fun since I ‘d have no […]
Acceptance is crucial. Kind of. And it happens to be relatively difficult for me sometimes. But I’m getting there. I have to accept that no one cares, no one loves me, needs me, or wants me. I’m insignificant and unimportant to anyone but myself. It use to pain me so much and it’s still upsetting but I now realize that even though it’s not ideal, I’m all I have, and all I need. I didn’t get very many good things in this life, but the one’s I did get I am grateful for. I’ve been holding off on writing my suicide note because I want […]
I made a Kik specifically for you guys here on SP. Just in case anyone ever needs or wants to talk, vent, rant, etc privately, it’s anoynomus and I’ll get back to you as quickly as I can. Just so you know I’m here for all of you, whether I know you or not. The username is haileeonsp. Have a lovely night guys.
Greetings. I created an account just now– but I’ve been reading some posts here for quite some time. I hope this type of post is acceptable.
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At first glance, you won’t really see me for who I am.
They see a curious wanderer, a determined overachiever, a hopeful soul, an enthusiastic teenager.
They say I bring sunshine, rainbows and butterflies wherever I go.
They think I’m awake at 3 in the morning because I’m eager to learn more about this world, because I’m comforting someone who needs my help, because I’m out running.
And at second glance, you still won’t see me for who I […]
About a year ago I lost a job I was with six years…that’s around the time I lost my fiancé of 6 years. It was mainly due to depression and really stupid choices. I never cheated on her but I guess I was kind of a mean drunk. I found new work but couldn’t hack it there and ended up leaving and getting buried in credit card debt. I still haven’t been able to get out. I was with a job the last couple months that I really thought I could make work. Mostly due to my depression I started to despise it. Found myself […]
I have been the happiest I’ve been in years these past few months. I’ve been feeling confident and beautiful but today all my depression flooded back. I know it’s going to be bad again. I’m not going to be able to get out of bed again. I have a beautiful 5 month old Husky. He is my best friend in the world and I love him so much. He doesn’t really care for me though haha but I don’t mind because I love him so much. But I know I’m not going to provide him with the care he needs anymore. I knows this hole […]
It’s by one of my favourite internet writers, he always has a good way of knowing the underlying meaning in things:
http://www.cracked.com/blog/7-ways-you-can-accidentally-become-social-outcast/
For those who don’t want to read it, it’s about how today’s social dynamics abuse and imprison the arbitrarily selected bottom few. It’s mainly about the time of adolescents but I think it explains all stages of life. Because of the way the world works, it needs an amount of people in the bottom for it to function and it doesn’t care how much mental damage this causes those unfortunate enough to be caught in the “shit pit”. It’s one of those harsh reality articles […]
I’m sorry for the demon I’ve become.
You should be sorry for the angel you are not.
I wonder how its gonna be when I don’t wake up.
Some words when spoken can’t be taken back.
I’m becoming more and more comfortable with the idea.
Everything is ready. Except for my family. I don’t want any one to miss me. Not like they will anyway. If I was still jumping, this would be so much easier. Blame it on a chute failure. Pour me from my boots and into a grave.
Now the biggest enemy I face is myself. I’ve got a fairly reliable method for self-disposal. […]
It never comes out right, never quite like it is in my head. I always come off like an angry, whiney freak when I try to explain to you how I feel. The truth is, I don’t think I’m actually an annoying person or a whiney one or even angry. I’m just sad, ya know? And stressed. Anxious. I’ve had a lot of messed up stuff happen in my life, much like most of you. I don’t think I am any better or worse. But I feel like I don’t belong here or anywhere. It’s like, I try to connect with someone, anyone, and it […]
I need some advice. The more people respond to this thread the better, please.
Some of you might recognize me and know what I’m going through, well I may have found a way out.
There’s this scholarship I can apply for that will allow me to go to Japan for a degree. I match almost all the requirements, the only thing left to do would be the knowledge test. But…
I will die next year, that’s a real fact. So what if I get the scholarship? An entire government will put their trust in me, but I will fail them and end up dying. All the resources they’ll […]
this is more to do with the comments than the post itself, i tried to write a comment but it didnt seem to post, so ill just put it here, as you can see its long, perhaps theres a word limit on comments? either way after writing so much i would be irritated to just delete it
Wow, this one really blew up didnt it? Just a couple of pints id like to add after reading all the comments.
Firstly is the discussion over ways to help, @salt you know i agree with what you say regarding more serious members need more serious help instead of […]
The Wendy Williams show is on. I can’t find the damn remote, I can’t change the channel on the frickin cable box without the damn remote. And I swear on all that is Holy that if I hear these women yell whoop-whoop one more time I just might end it. ( it gonna take a talk show to drive me over the edge ? ) screw it. I’ll be in the garage if anybody needs me.
Hello.
I’m not very sure why I made this account, but you all seem nice enough. I don’t have a bad life. I have loving parents, an annoying brother, and many friends that love and care about me. So it isn’t really fair for me to complain, right? But every single day is filled with anxiety and fear that I will do something wrong. I am a perfectionist and someone who worries a little bit too much. My hands are shaking as I type this because I fear that it will be something that I will regret starting for the rest of my life. Oh. How […]
Everyone seems pretty adamant I’m going to college tomorrow. They don’t understand that I don’t need college, I’m doing a bakery business and I’m going to write. Wasting my time and effort at college doing art is stupid when I could be writing, or starting up the bakery.
I gave a hint about me not going, and my mum blew up at me on several occasions today. Great. I need to just avoid it all week until Friday, and tell my therapist. She’ll get it across into my Mum’s thick skull that I don’t need college. I’m going to fail anyway so why drag it out […]
I don’t want to die. I want to be happy. I want to be normal. I want to be fulfilled. But I don’t think I can be.
So instead, I’m this poisonous, negative force. Because I can’t be happy, I want everyone else to be unhappy as well. I want to drag them down to my level, so I don’t feel so jealous and inferior.
I think maybe it would be better if I was dead. I don’t think I have it in me to come to terms with how much I’ve fucked up my life. And I can’t see any way to really live a fulfilling […]
I’ve have slept through three alarms, miraculously I’m awake relatively early in the morning.
I’ll lay here, on my sleeping bag, wool blanket, yoga mat combination for an hour at least.
Neglecting all needs.
Half ass wondering what has sucked pleasure from my life and has left me a husk, a shadow of my former self.
Until I stop carrying and I day dream of much more entertaining thoughts.
Like, wouldn’t it be nice;
If I woke up in an alternate world.
Woke up in a game.
Or not at all, and instead of day dreaming about life that could be… Oh fuck it, you’re stuck.
Stop […]
Hello all, please forgive me if my English is weird. It is not my first language.
Anyways here goes nothing and I am new here:
I have been wandering on Internet and seeking suitable suicide-related or depression-related websites. I stumbled across this website and had thought about signing up. So I did and started out by reading how others deal with their side of Depression and stories. We live in different places so maybe there are some alternative ways of coping stress-related or anything negative. I have been suffering from depression for more than a decade now and at times, self-harm for pain relief. I have been […]
It’s fucking 7:11am in the NZ here I am woken up looking after my brother’s kids have to fucking do all the shit he would if he was here
Feed them cereal
Make my nephew’s lunch
Get them dressed into their superhero costumes
Have their bags by the door
The whole time I’m doing this make sure they don’t cause World War 3 or argue over a stupid felt/marker because they are currently colouring in, in their books.
Also make sure my niece doesn’t press the button on her Elsa dress that plays the whole song of let it go because I might be prone to pull my hair out….
I’m such […]
I am a person who needs a lot of guidece.
I’m reading a book by Gandhi.
I’m reading a red letter edition of the NIV Bible.
I’m keeping a journal and I write whatever comes to my mind and tear out what I don’t like.
I often just nod or shake my head when I’m asked a question.
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