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never good enough

So I’m in a bit of a rut…

by Hope342
written by Hope342

So a few months ago I left university for the day, half way through, because I couldn’t take the overwhelming nervous feelings of being with my classmates, and lecturers, who are the type of people that make you feel on edge, never good enough. Leaving my coat, bag and items sprawled out across the desk to look as if I was just leaving for lunch, I escaped and walked home as fast as I could, heavily breathing because of the stress of the day.

I don’t know what it was, maybe the fact that my lecturer is quite harsh and makes me feel my work is […]

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An Introduction

by NicoleK
written by NicoleK

Hi, I’m Nicole. I’m sorry that you’re here, but I’m also glad that you understand. 

I would never consider death if there weren’t so many barriers to survival. I mean, many of those barriers are within myself, but there doesn’t seem to be much help to fix those things. I have tried counseling and talking with friends and praying (which I very much believe in), but I still feel wretched. I just can’t handle failure or any kind of mistake, really. It comes from years of abuse and others’ harsh reactions to childhood mistakes. Now, I react to failure in a way that resembles muscle memory. […]

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Its too much

by Wanttogiveup
written by Wanttogiveup

I’m killing myself before I go back to school. How? I don’t know. I just know I am. Everything is just adding up to being a crappy year. I’ve had so little to hold onto. Depression has hit me like a semi truck, anxiety the wheels that ran me over. School is terrible, I pushed my friends away, my ex gf got cancer, and to top it off, we were supposed to go on a skype date but she fell in love with someone else. So yeah. I have nothing. No will to live. 

 

To my friends: no. This was not your fault. Many of you […]

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My story

by abisslover25
written by abisslover25

So this is going to be long and grammar has never been my strong point. Plus I cracked my screen really bad so it’s hard to type. Maybe getting it out will help, maybe not. Either way I have to try something to help.

 

I Had a rough childhood starting when I was 6 was when I first remember wanting to die. I never fit in.

Continue on and I never had any friends. Not once did a boy ever show interest in me (even the cute kindergarten crushes). I always felt broken.

When hen I hit puberty I gained a lot of weight and my mom decided […]

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dear Dad.

by L0STgirl
written by L0STgirl

my heart: broken into a million pieces, my brain: shattered, my soul: no where to be found. I feel as if my body roams this earth but I am already deceased into the dark shadowy pits of hell with no where to go but down. I can physically feel the overwhelming heat burning through my body. my cries for help are consistent and as loud as atomic bombs hitting the ground. yet, no one seems to  hear a thing. I’ve realized I’ve fallen so deep in this trance that no one is there to hear me now. hitting rock bottom is an understatement, people go […]

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)’:

by Wanttogiveup
written by Wanttogiveup

Hello everyone…I haven’t posted on here for a while. I sincerely apologize for my lack of absence…I said I would try to help people but I just left. I thought I was better…but I’m not sure anymore. I’ve been always feeling like I’m never good enough. I’m not good enough for school, I’m not good enough for my family, I’m not good enough for the ex girlfriend I still love, I’m not good enough to for anything. I don’t know what to do. It’s handicapping me from doing anything I want to because I’m positive I’ll screw something up as usual. I keep trying to […]

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Hey guys…

by AskingMyselfWhy
written by AskingMyselfWhy

I want to start off by saying this is not so much a cry for help as it is more just for someone to listen for once in my life. You know the guy you always hear about with the “so fucked up it belongs on TV” life? The guy who is a struggling drug addict, unmedicated bi-polar, self hating suicidal freak? The guy who’s self-esteem is at absolute zero because no matter what he does or how hard he tries he is never good enough for anyone? Well, in a short description, that guy is me. I’m not proud or happy to tell anyone […]

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LivingHell

by NoHopeShay
written by NoHopeShay

I’ve been through it all.. it started when I started high school to when I lost my first boyfriend. I tried overdosing on Pain Killers nothing happened… nothing ever happens. I try to hang myself.. over 10 times and it always end up to me taking it off my neck and being weak about it. Because in all reality who really wants to die right? We just want the pain to end. But it doesn’t last. But Lately I’ve been letting this whole suicide thing get to me. I’m literally thinking about doing it tomorrow and succeeding. I don’t know what else to do. This […]

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Silence is Golden

by Heartwellx
written by Heartwellx

I’m beginning to lose my voice; not through a health condition or illness but because everything I say is meaningless…no one listens and I know deep down I’m not worth the time. I’m not funny and I say idiotic things, you’re suppose ignore stupidity right? I guess it makes sense now. I’ve been feeling like this hole in my chest getting deeper and deeper and I know it’ll eventually eat right through me till I’m completely erased. And to be honest, it relieves me. Maybe someday soon I’ll actually work up the courage to finally do it. It just gets so lonely.

It hasn’t […]

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My Down Fall

by wellthen1998
written by wellthen1998

It all started at a young age… my mother was in an abusive relationship, and I felt helpless because I was too little to stick up for her. I started hating myself, I blamed myself for her abuse. Eventually I began hating her, I despise her, but I still wish I could’ve done something! This is where the self hatred began. I then moved in with my father and have been living with him for around 4 years now. In the past 4 years I have severely struggled in school. I had always been a straight A student, but now I find myself struggling to […]

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The Last are the Most Beautiful

by Black_Heart2001
written by Black_Heart2001

I’ve left my fears behind. Now I’m purely fuelled my anger and sadness. I was never good enough for anyone, and that was okay with me because I didn’t need to be.No, correction. I was never good enough for YOU. You stupid, terrible parents that pushed me to my breaking point and every time I built something for myself, you would knock it down and then ask me why I couldn’t build anything. I didn’t want this life. Everything I did I did for you. Straight As. 4.5 GPA. Getting into one of the top schools in the world. Student council president. Swim team. Band. […]

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TAKE ME!

by takemeplease
written by takemeplease

It’s hard for me to BE here…It’s hard to BE a person. I’ve been sad, hurting and lonely for so long, it’s changed me…… Forever. I don’t say the right things. I talk to much when I’m with “people,” because I’ve been desperately alone suffering for so long. I WAS a people person. People are mean. Life is mean. Kids are mean. Husbands are mean. I feel like I’m never good enough, there is a list being written. It’s a long list of my faults, of my mistakes, of my inadequacy. It’s like the damn Grocery List my family keeps adding to. It gets longer […]

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I’m not really sure..

by SeeYouSoon
written by SeeYouSoon

I’m not really sure what to say im new to this googling suicide crap. All night I been thinking about ways to kill myself how to do it. This isn’t the first suicide attempt. There’s been a few but overdoses never really work I end up being sick and well I failed. But tonight I just can’t cope anymore. It’s getting worse and worse I don’t get any help with my depression. I even told my support worker I’m going delusional. Funny thing is she thought it was nothing and signed me off that day! Tonight I even written a suicide note. First time and […]

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Avant Garde

by Black_Heart2001
written by Black_Heart2001

I’ve left my fears behind. Now I’m purely fuelled my anger and sadness. I was never good enough for anyone, and that was okay with me because I didn’t need to be.No, correction. I was never good enough for YOU. You stupid, terrible parents that pushed me to my breaking point and every time I built something for myself, you would knock it down and then ask me why I couldn’t build anything. I didn’t want this life. Everything I did I did for you. Straight As. 4.5 GPA. Getting into one of the top schools in the world. Student council president. Swim team. Band. […]

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lost

by bno381
written by bno381

im never good enough for anybody, im always sad. most of my friends are gone, i dont know what i do. i think a lot about death but never had the courage to fulfill it.

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Black sheep

by idonthaveagoodusername
written by idonthaveagoodusername

To start off, my parents divorced when i was really little. My dad remarried almost 4 years ago. In those 4 years living with my dad and stepmom, my dad started to really force his religion on all of us. My stepmom had 5 kids in her previous marriage, but only 2 live with us. Z (male) and K (female). My dad is mormon, and from what i’ve heard from my friends, when i told them my dad’s religion, they all groaned and said things like “Oh my god, Mormonism? Really? I feel so sorry for you. Mormons are super controlling”. From my experience, what […]

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Is life even worth it?

by GoneGirl0227
written by GoneGirl0227

I’ve had ONE suicide attempt… only one. I was a strategically thought out plan, that I thought would work. Obviously it failed because I’m here typing this now. I’m not going to go into the detail of my attempt but I will say I’m 5’3 and weigh 110lbs and took 800mg of Benadryl it was 32 pills… i had 68 in the bottle… I kinda hate myself for not taking the whole bottle, but with all the research I did I REALLY wasn’t expecting to wake up the next morning, and I’m lucky I did. I almost had a a stroke, 18 years old and […]

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My Andyrew

by LostandLonelySoul
written by LostandLonelySoul

I’m sorry, my baby…. I’m sorry that I feel this way. That I feel like you don’t love me anymore. I’m sorry that I still want to kill myself because I feel so inadequate. I’m sorry, my love. I’m sorry that I was never good enough for you. I’m sorry that I haven’t made as big of an impact on your life as you try to tell me I have. I’m sorry I’m so fucked up. I’m sorry that I’m not good for you. I’m sorry you still can’t see that. I’m sorry that I’m clingy, that I’m possessive. I’m sorry that I can’t wait […]

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by dead
written by dead

Today in therapy I learned a few things about myself. As a child, I was never taught kindness, or how to love. I raised myself and my little brother. My mom was always sleeping, or couldn’t care less. The little she did for us, some cooking and laundry, she’d complain about, scream about it. She is a ticking time bomb we’d have to tiptoe around, avoiding the next explosion. As unpredictable as she is, it somehow was always my fault, she was never in the wrong. What could a 4 year old have done to have my mom scream at me every day before school? […]

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