Tag:

want

I’m weak, and I’m finally admitting it

by orange-juice 11/3/2016

written by orange-juice

I’m 17. I can hear too many things going on in my head but at the same time I feel blank. I love life but I hate life. Everything is so confusing and I feel a lump in my throat when I try to explain what I really want, so I thought I’d type it.

I don’t want the life that everyone is told to follow. Working behind a desk, getting large sums of money for rotting away in a grey, dull workplace and consistently working for a force that marginalises freedom. I want freedom. I just wish I could run through endless green fields that […]

11/3/2016 2 comments

I hate reality ! reality is boring ! Doctor Strange , Marvel MCU , Avengers , Sword Art Online , Virtual Reality , games , movies , novels , anime manga , comics is better than reality !

by niki 10/29/2016

written by niki

I hate reality ! reality is boring !

Doctor Strange is better than reality !
Marvel MCU (Marvel Cinematic Universe) is better than reality !
Avengers is better than real world !
Sword Art Online is better than real life !
Virtual Reality is better than boring reality !
video games is better than reality real life real world !
movies is better than real-world real-life reality !
novels is better than real-life real-world reality !
anime manga is better than boring real life real world reality !
comics is better than boring real world real life reality !

Why Human’s Imagination is much better than […]

10/29/2016 4 comments

how can i be both lonely and also want to be alone at the same time?

by adecoy95 9/19/2016

written by adecoy95

i dont want to be alone anymore, but at the same time i dont want to put myself out there.

i dont understand why being alone bothers me so much if i dont want to take effort to change it. it makes no sense

im going to turn 30 soon, i have never dated or been in a relationship with anyone, ive never been intimate with anyone

i have been considering hiring a escort, but i dont know if i could even do that, what if i got caught? would my family despise me? consider me a terrible person? could i accept that?

what if i hired one, and […]

9/19/2016 13 comments

The end is nigh

by AshCoveredAngel 7/27/2016

written by AshCoveredAngel

So the state refuses to fix my insurance. In 4 days I won’t have any. Cancelled insurance at 32 1/2 weeks pregnant.

I won’t be paying medical bills back because I don’t have an income of any kind. I’ll just have to deal with collection calls and letters until they give up getting money from me and put it as a charged off account on my already very poorly rated credit.

This also means I won’t be able to get any kind of postpartum care. Good news is that I’ve already accepted I’ll be a depressed woman with no safety net.

At least I […]

7/27/2016 4 comments

I wish I was pretty

by little_japanese 7/9/2016

written by little_japanese

From head to toe everything seems wrong. Nothing seems beautiful about me. I’ve never had anyone look me in the eye and call me pretty. I’ve never turned a head walking on the street. All my friends are physically perfect and amazing people.

7/9/2016 5 comments

Question for Anyone

by AshCoveredAngel 6/24/2016

written by AshCoveredAngel

Have you died but you are physically alive?

For example when I’m asked my age I reflexively want to say “21” except I’ll be 24 here soon. I also no longer have any desires, aspirations, goals, or dreams.

Ultimately I feel like the Corpse Bride.

“And I know her heart is beating
And I know that I am dead
Yet the pain here that I feel
Try and tell me it’s not real
For it seems that I still have a tear to shed” – Tears to Shed lyrics.

So is anyone else dead alive?

6/24/2016 5 comments

Schizoid Personality Disorder

by AshCoveredAngel 6/10/2016

written by AshCoveredAngel

I have schizoid personality disorder and basically I’ll never get “better” from that.

After loads of research I’ve discovered that the life I’ve wanted has basically been the root cause of my depression.

I know there’s exceptions but

Schizoid people don’t typically get married let alone have dating relationships

Schizoid people don’t have children

Schizoid people can’t or don’t work in most professions

Basically I’ll never have a healthy or happy relationship with anybody and that’s why my marriage failed and my current relationship is likely to fail as well.

I may have brought my daughter home from foster care but I’ll never be […]

6/10/2016 2 comments

I’m an attention whore

by outinthedark 5/27/2016

written by outinthedark

Today was my friends high school graduation. I went because that’s what friends do, right? During the ceremony I was sitting with my other friend, and I was texting the one guy who knows about my depression. It was light hearted and joking conversation but he’s not the best at conversation so I stopped responding because all I wanted to do was tell him how I’m doing mentally. But it wasn’t the time or place. But I haven’t seen him in a while and I got to see him today but I wasn’t able to to talk to him in person because we each had […]

5/27/2016 2 comments

Can’t stay still

by J Doe 5/26/2016

written by J Doe

Hello. I have less than 1 week left in school. I can’t seem to stay still. Going to a place full of people like school is agony. I hate it. I got to get away. I can’t stay still. Every time I look around, I see people having a great time and spending it with others. I understand that I am alone. I just don’t want to show up to a place where it constantly reminds me. This restlessness has extended at home as well. Even in my room I can’t sit still. I want out. It’s driving me insane. Like I need to be […]

5/26/2016 2 comments

If I Could Attend My Funeral

by CocoaS2cookie 5/26/2016

written by CocoaS2cookie

You know, I don’t believe in God or heaven or hell. Maybe in that one sentence, if they existed, I condemned myself. The rational part of me thinks we just cease to exist. Sure, people remember us but there is no part of our consciousness or spirit that lingers, I think.

At the same time, I wish I could see what happens right after I die. I wish I could hear what people said, their true feelings, if they had any regrets. For the last thing, at least, I think they should have done something before they had time to regret. Life is too short for […]

5/26/2016 3 comments

Quick question

by darkwillow 5/25/2016

written by darkwillow

back when people were talking about trolls.. Not that i want to bring that up.. someone said they could look at deleted posts through archives.. Can someone show me how? I want to find someone

5/25/2016 4 comments

more music.

by Alan Ominous 5/25/2016

written by Alan Ominous

Why do I post music so much. I guess, for the most part, music is such a personal flavor. You really want to summarize someone, scan their playlist. Also, some I find funny, some feels like the message was ripped from my soul, crafted poetically and spoon fed back to me.

5/25/2016 6 comments

Loser-dom

by anthropophobia 5/25/2016

written by anthropophobia

I am an addict, and I’ve attempted suicide several times. I haven’t been dependent on my parents in years, but because of my rather dramatic and reckless lifestyle they have made gracious gestures to assist me in getting better. This assistance comes with a heavy price, and as a result really leaves me in a state of inner turmoil with anger directed at people who believe they have my best interest in mind.

I have been on an annual cycle for the past few years, and it seems like understandably enough everyone is getting sick of it. Seems like my family doesn’t know what to […]

5/25/2016 1 comment

Rip out

by J Doe 5/24/2016

written by J Doe

Hello. Im at school right now. I should be studying but I’ve got to decompress first. I don’t think people want me atound. I don’t feel well. Do you ever wish you could stick your hand inside your head and rip out the things you don’t like about yourself? I would like to rip out the thing inside my head that makes me feel weird when around others. I wish I could stop caring. I don’t feel well. I don’t want it anymore. Back to studying. Thanks for listening.

5/24/2016 2 comments

i should do it

by jasal 5/24/2016

written by jasal

everyone’s sleeping. no one would be able to stop me. even if i do it wrong, what’s 5 more minutes of pain in this life. in the end, i’ll still be dead. i want to do it. i want to die. let me die.

5/24/2016 6 comments

I just want to end it NOW

by tryingtohope 5/23/2016

written by tryingtohope

Oh God SP friends I am in a major crisis. I am ready to find anyway I can’t to commit suicide. I have just had it up to my eyeballs with this chronic pain and the bullshit of life. I just want to die. tell me why I shouldn’t do it. I’m so desperate to be done and gone.

5/23/2016 9 comments

So here i am again…

by Ryed 5/23/2016

written by Ryed

This year i will die. That is my resolve and it will not change anymore.

However i got myself into a responsibility mess by adopting two kitties and that is why i cannot or rather do not want to make it an obvious suicide. Ideally i want terminal cancer, and i’ve done some research on how to get it despite being as healthy as i am, but i’d like more input.

Do you think radiation from exposure to 2 or so americum 241 would be enough to give me cancer? I’m thinking of putting it in my water every time i drink, basically.

If not then what would […]

5/23/2016 11 comments

Reality is boring , real life is boring , real world is boring , not like movies, comics, novels, anime manga, video games !

by niki 5/22/2016

written by niki

Reality is boring
real-life is boring
real-world is boring
not like movies, comics, novels, anime manga, video games !

also,
I hate Humans , Humans suck
I hate Human , Human suck
I hate Humanity, Humanity suck
I hate people , people suck

Most humans / people only think about Money ,
and this reality is boring !
reallife is boring !
realworld is boring !

people / humans are so shallow, superficial, stupid, ignorant
Humanity is hopeless

if there is God , then God is boring !
even Science is boring too !
Science fiction (Sci-fi) is much more interesting than real Science facts !

why […]

5/22/2016 3 comments

Whatever… at this point I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.

by Dog1IsOpen 5/21/2016

written by Dog1IsOpen

Ok so let’s get the elephant out of the room. I don’t expect to get help from anybody on this whatever it is. I am only crying for attention like I do whenever I feel overwhelmed. I feel overwhelmed right now and I have begun my suicidal thoughts again. I don’t want to preach or pretend like I have any insight to offer. All I want to do it express my feelings in this rant I’ve made;

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Words on a page what for and have we to. This drunken stupor of man’s design. To keep the life and the divine. To keep the soul intact and […]

5/21/2016 1 comment

Lets be here for each other

by Iwantpeace2 5/20/2016

written by Iwantpeace2

I wanna start by sayin when I post here I dont want to sound like some winny 23 year old we all know theres no where else to vent to , even right now my heart is broken with dispair nd I want to die I need the courage to do myself in

With that being said maybe if I could jus reach a new friend here maybe something will change so SP …

What is everyone doing right now what do yu do from day to day lets just try And connect more

5/20/2016 8 comments

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