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Family & Friends Effects

The effects of suicide on family and friends.

Dance With My Worthlessness

by Virus.Found
written by Virus.Found

I’m someone who likes to draw, to edit pictures (especially of games) and write my own stories. This year something happened and I lost all interest for my hobbies. I’ve recently just started to regain some interest but… It’s like nothing I do, seems great enough.

I’ve also noticed my friends, that I always share it with, being rather uninterested. I’m not sure whether my perception is just ‘wrong’ or it’s really because I’m shit. I keep thinking: What even is the point of doing this.? If I don’t think it’s good and people around me don’t really care, then why do I waste my […]

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“I don’t believe in luck! I create my own luck!”. Most people seriously underestimate how luck plays a BIG/HUGE factor in life.

by niki
written by niki

A friend of mine used to tweet a phrase that always sticks with me: “Some people are lucky, some people are not.” That was some years ago, and the more I live now, the more I see (& realized/learned) that it’s true. Most people seriously underestimate how luck plays a BIG/HUGE factor in their lives. Or in life, for all that matters. I don’t know and I’m not sure if it’s due to the meritocracy thing (“If you work hard, you WILL succeed/reach success!”), or if it’s due to the ‘positive/optimistic’ self-help culture/trend/hype that is literally almost everywhere nowadays, etc etc. But I think it’s […]

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Letter to me 3 years later

by The riddler
written by The riddler

so the post below is from a few years ago, and I’ve decided to respond with it based on how I feel now.

 

 

original post:

 

June 3rd, 2016 was the day I snapped. I drove my car into a light pole at about 100kph. I just couldn’t/can’t handle life anymore. First responders arrived, I admitted to the crash being due to me wanting to die, and not losing control of the car. I was taken to the hospital where I was drugged up and put through extensive testing. I guess it was considered a serious crash even though I had no physical injuries. The next […]

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air

by plasticflower
written by plasticflower

i can’t feel anything lately. right now i should be sad, a family member passed away yesterday. but i truly just don’t feel anything. it’s like i’m walking on air

that’s not new though, i’ve been struggling for a few weeks. recently, certain memories regarding childhood trauma have resurfaced, and i don’t know why. again, i’ve been struggling a lot.

i don’t know what i want to say, actually. you know how people sometimes change their personalities slightly depending on who they’re with? lately i had to create a new persona, let’s say. my mom said a few things on different occasions, so i decided to pretend […]

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I want to …, okay? Okay.

by Virus.Found
written by Virus.Found

I want to die, the second that I wake up and realize where and who I am. I want to die, checking my zero messages on my phone from my friends. I want to die, listening to a gloomy song on loop, while brushing my teeth. I want to die, when I eat breakfast at 8 pm, even when I have cake in front of me. I want to die, trying to distract myself from this urgent feeling, by watching YouTube.

I want to die, when I crave for coffee and feel short happiness imagining the taste in my mouth. I want to die, standing […]

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Depressed little Firework

by Virus.Found
written by Virus.Found

It’s almost 4 am and I woke up twice from the darn fireworks outside, because there’s been a demonstration going on for a few days. This is such a bad idea, to post here, when I’m sleep deprived. But none of my friends are available to talk to, so you guys are all I got right now.

I’ve been having such a hard time, fighting off negativity. I feel like all my energy goes to telling my thoughts to shut the hell up, so in the end there’s nothing left for myself… I honestly don’t think that this is normal. Even when I try my […]

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Greedy

by Itscolourlife
written by Itscolourlife

To: Sister with a flower in the head

You are really greedy huh? You have been living well, have many friends, have lovely boyfriend, have your youth life without studying, hang out friends, eating good food, top three doctor college, but still you said you are jealous of me…
You said its not enough and you still need 1% of my happiness. How can you be so cruel as a sister huh? You want to play music like me, you want to be loved by parents like me, like me, like me, like im living with the best live more than yours.
Everyone can see even […]

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I’M THE ONE YOU’VE COME TO TALK TO. LEAVE A COMMENT

by OddOneOut
written by OddOneOut

What’s on your mind, bud? Talk to me.
I know you came on this website to see what people have to say, to see if you can leave any comments. And I also know that you want to leave comments on people to help them with the shit they’re going through.

SCREW THAT. THAT’S NOT WHY YOU’RE HERE. YOU’RE HERE BECAUSE YOU NEED HELP, YOU NEED SOMEONE WHO’LL LISTEN.

I WILL LISTEN.

Leave a comment, let’s talk. I’ll listen. No judgement, no problem-solving (unless you want it). I’ll try my best to understand, I’ll try my best to here you until you’re through, and most importantly I WILL NOT LEAVE […]

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We die, so liars don’t have to

by Virus.Found
written by Virus.Found

Burden. Inconvenience. Deadweight. Those are the words I’d describe myself as lately. I’ve taken a month break from any contacts to my friends. And guess what.? No one fucking missed me…

I’ve received a ‘hey’ from two people and that was it, they didn’t try again. They simply didn’t notice. They simply didn’t care. It was hard for me, I’m a very affectionate person. I didn’t want to let myself get dragged down by that though. So what, if I’m the person that keeps the contact going right.? Wrong. Super duper wrong.

Just everyone that comes along bails on me, I don’t understand why… I […]

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Death gotta be easy, cause life is hard, it’ll leave you physically, emotionally and mentally scarred.

by ineedhelp19
written by ineedhelp19

struggling to keep up in life cause of the vices i caught on during the last few years is making me go insane. my minds a mess, I can’t seem to find peace in anything and sometimes i sob up but don’t have a shoulder to cry on or people to fully express how i feel. I know life is hard but getting through it is even harder, at least for me how am i not supposed to be bothered when there’s literally no tunnel vision. Sometimes i have suicidal thoughts and sometimes i feel like its just a phase I’m going through. I often […]

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Someone text me or I’ll…

by osamabinchubs
written by osamabinchubs

…Jump. Been in the longest relationship with her my whole life. Even though I’m pretty young, it feels like it’s been forever with her. Funny I never liked people. I counted it off as being anti social or just not being able to put up with people’s shit. It felt cool. I always ditched public outings with”friends” just to hang out with her. Even in the emptiness I find peace.

They always ask me, “why don’t you come around”. I say “I’m busy; I’m busy with her”

‘Who is she?” Man I couldn’t tell them. Well to be fair I didn’t know who “she” was. […]

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Two Little Lights

by LiquidHuman
written by LiquidHuman

I’ve always cared about my younger brothers. Even when I was a kid. I may be a girl, but I still feel a deep desire to protect them.

My middle brother used to get bullied in elementary school. Even back then, as a preteen, I wanted to kill someone. He was the quiet, nerdy type. He’s intelligent, extremely intelligent. Always looking at the technical side of things. The type to tell you about how a patch in Smash gave Samus’s up-b two less frames or something like that. Makes sense why he’d gravitate towards computers and coding. He doesn’t have any friends. That scares me. He doesn’t know […]

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A break from ‘friends’

by Virus.Found
written by Virus.Found

Wow, just wow. I’ve been doing better without any friends but it was really hard in the beginning. So after a week I check my messages: 0 Just why do I care so much…? When you’re someone, that has so much affection to give, what the hell do you do.? Seems like, everyone who’s not depressed, is just not much of a friend these days. Oh, to be 16 again and have a bunch of depressed friends and they have so much free time, you could actually form a ball of clay and stick together for forever. Loneliness is no joke…

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18 hours of sleep

by Virus.Found
written by Virus.Found

Have you ever kept the seriousness of your mental state to yourself.? Just to finally open up to a person and they’re not being understanding whatsoever.? Yeah, well. That happened to me tonight.

It’s night and I’m miserable. I’ve told my friend, that they have not been there at all, when I needed them to be. And I understand, that they are busy and I’ve been ever so patient. But it only goes so far, you know.? I’ve been feeling extremely lonely lately. I’ve just slept 18 hours straight. I’ve reached out to many people, just to get nothing back in return. Isn’t that already […]

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Ramblings of a madman

by Shadymoon
written by Shadymoon

At this point, the glass isn’t half empty or half full, the glass is shattered and the pieces are embedded deep in my flesh. I have final “insurance” if you will, I’m just waiting for the right time to use it. I’ve practiced over and over. It’s not a matter of if I choose to make my exit, but when. And oddly enough, having a surefire “insurance” policy helps me through the bad moments, the mere knowledge that I can reliably end it when I choose to do so, when the time comes, is almost enough to bring me peace. I’m playing a sick game […]

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The Funeral

by ghostingthem
written by ghostingthem

It was back in January. Our friends and I were sat all of five feet away from her casket during the service. She wasn’t religious, but they held a service anyway.

I felt like I couldn’t be seen crying. My friends were distraught, feeling sick and bawling like newborns. I was like a rock. I don’t think I cried at all. How sick does that make me? The monster who didn’t cry at their friend’s funeral. What’s worse is I’m now realising I never got to break down like them. I didn’t cry for hours or get comforted by doting parents. I was left […]

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My Eye

by Scolopendra
written by Scolopendra

That’s the silly nickname I’ve given My Eye. My Eye’s unresponsive now, gone, I can’t reach My Eye. My Eye had just confessed to being very, very depressed. My Eye’s LGBT and from a really abusive family. I love My Eye, but I asked My Eye a difficult question right before My Eye went radio silent. I’m scared My Eye will commit suicide. My Eye’s the best I’ve ever had, I don’t… it’s… what do I do? I’m suicidal too. I don’t think I can take it. There has been a long string of deaths around me. I’m a bad luck charm, I guess. I […]

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Sad and Mad/Mad and Sad

by DovaKitten
written by DovaKitten

I’ve been thinking about things that have happened to me a lot lately, and I have realised that I am stranded, stuck, lost, alone in this world now.

My parents, as much as I love them dearly, have no idea about what I’ve been through, and wouldn’t (couldn’t) understand if they did.

My friends don’t understand why I am not the same, why I am not the old me. They have noticed that I am not miraculously better, even after being given time and space.

The only one who does know, is the one that left me like this, and they don’t care. They just went back to […]

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fond memories

by c-note13
written by c-note13

i’m here after two months. feeling slightly better as my second year of uni commenced a week back and i became a part of a pretty good research club. i’m here to talk about fond memories and clinging on to them. this post is mainly about a friend i made in grade 10, four years back. if you’re ever here, N, i hope you come across this.

she transferred from an all girls school to a co-ed school (mine) in 2016. i was one of her first friends. turns out she lived literally two fucking minutes from my house. we bonded pretty well and got close […]

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