Family & Friends Effects

The effects of suicide on family and friends.

0

to: mommy

  August 13th, 2017 by mynameisnight

why can’t you love me, mom? aren’t i your child too? or do you hate me that much?

honestly speaking, i envy my brother.. for you’re always being so nice and kind to him. you’re so obviously prioritize him, always give everything that he wants. you even sacrificed my happiness just to fulfill all his demands.
just like him.. me too, wants to be loved, wants to be happy.
was that too much to ask, mom?

all the other girls can be best friend with their mother. they can tell everything to their mommy and have their mom’s support on everything.
i can’t relate to that. no, that won’t do.. …

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5

I’m sorry.

  August 13th, 2017 by Eccedentesiastsoul

I’ve been fighting for so long and its time I surrender. I’m sorry I couldn’t be the perfect daughter. I’m sorry I wasn’t born a boy. I’m sorry I’m such a disappointment and I couldn’t be who you wanted me to be. I’m sorry i couldn’t open up about it. I’m sorry I was too weak to ask for help, I thought I would get over it like all my problems, just like you said. I didn’t want to cause more drama since you said I should “get over it and stop being a drama queen”. I’m sorry I wasn’t friends with who you wanted …

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4

It doesn’t get better, just different.

  August 10th, 2017 by Piratemermaid

I could say some bullshit about all the things that caused me to be depressed, but they won’t actually be what caused me to be like this. A lot of people have gone through my situation and been just fine, in fact my situation is probably really easy. I take full responsibility for being the way I am. I’m just not strong enough, not resilient. Maybe too gullible.

My parents divorced when I was five, it would have been worse if they had stayed together. Dad was an alcoholic and Mom was taking care of him more than she needed to be. There was that small …

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1

  August 9th, 2017 by DeadHeart

I have the same feeling sometimes, I feel a little cheered up, I have a laugh but I remind myself that this is temporary, the way I really feel, miserable, depressed, crushed, bogged down, stuck, jealous will return shortly.

My thoughts of suicide use to be just thoughts but lately this has also changed for me, I’m coming to realize that my life isn’t going to change, no one is going to come save, I either I have to begin to enjoy this miserable life or end it.

I know I won’t be able to enjoy this life, its literally to hard. I’m so far behind

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3

Is It Really All It’s Going To Take?

  August 9th, 2017 by Eccedentesiastsoul

I do not think I am capable of being loved. I fear that I am never going to be able to find someone who will love me the way I fail to love myself. It has always been my only hope. What if it’s the only way all of this will ever get better? To find the right person who will always be there for me. The thing is I’ve been lied to so many times that I don’t think I can trust anyone anymore. People talk to me when they need something then they just disappear. If I refuse to do what they ask …

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2

I’m not Beautiful

  August 8th, 2017 by LifeisMundane4EVR

My whole life has been nothing but pain and I’m so sick of living. Sometimes I feel like my own boyfriend doesn’t love me..but why should he? I’m not beautiful or smart. I’m constantly negative and he says he doesn’t want to be with a negative person. He says he can easily break up with me and find another girlfriend…maybe he just should.. I’m not worth loving. I have severe acne problems which results in bad scarring. My body is flabby and gross looking. His history with other girls just shows me he’s more interested in supermodel type girls than real women like me. I …

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2

9am thoughts

  August 8th, 2017 by Eccedentesiastsoul

Okay. So I don’t really know how this works. What if someone I know finds this, what then? How am I going to explain all this. When people I know see my cuts they judge and say I do it for attention so what will they think if they ever found this? I just need my space, I want to be able to express my thoughts without being scared but I guess fear is always going to be there.

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2

Off on a journey

  August 8th, 2017 by Cognac

I’m off tomorrow, away for a bit. Doing something I’ve never done before – wild camping, far out. I’ve spent most of my life indoors, not being allowed to have my own independence, so my experiences are limited. I’m looking forward to it, but at the same time, I’m not.

I’ve been really slacking, not having the motivation to do much in general (which includes writing this post, took quite a bit of energy to) and get packing and sort out my room before I leave, so I’ve left it to the last minute. This is really stressful.

The long hikes I’ll be taking might drain me …

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2

First post

  August 7th, 2017 by Eccedentesiastsoul

“We do not chose to be born but we do have some kind of decision in the way we die”

It’s funny how life works at times. For as long as I can remember it’s been this way. I just don’t know if it is ever going to end. Its really hard, living like everything is fine. I tend to focus on other people’s problems then my own. To be able to survive this I tell myself that maybe there is a reason I’m like this but I’m tired of lying to myself, I’m tired of believing something that isn’t true and nothing but a sham.

I’m …

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1

Art and Life sucks…

  August 6th, 2017 by helllight

I wanted to believe that my art might perhaps somehow brighten me up, and fill that emptiness I feel every morning. An objective that I ended up creating perhaps as a crutch. But gradually it seems that I am losing all the essence that I have acquired over the years, through everything that I have created. The meanders of life, The opportunities that I received, and that I denied, and gradually I distance myself from the initial will, my goals, and I’m stagnating more and more … Every day I go further, than before Being in search of perfection, now it seems only an impossibility …

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7

I Need a New Body – Mine’s a Worthless Lemon

  August 4th, 2017 by Hopeless89

I wish that I could be reborn in a new body. Cosmetically speaking, I have got to be one of the biggest freaks ever to exist. My body is a lemon. I have hideous body acne almost everywhere – including sometimes on my forearms. I’ve lost some hair. I have hideous teeth (possibly malocclusion). I am 28 years old but look like a puny 14-year-old. I’m also only 5’3.”

Before I continue, I must state that I know that these problems, individually, are not necessarily freakish (aside from forearm acne).

Yes, some people have bad body acne, and I’ve even found some rare examples online of people …

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1

Is it pitiful to die over a friendship

  August 1st, 2017 by FilteredSoul

Long story short im dieing, not actually dieing but spiritually and mentally. I dont feel alive among other things. The only thing I wanted in life was this friendship with a friend and we became really good friends. My happiest moments was when we were hanging out and i dont mind that my life was completely falling apart. Some shit happened that was out of my control but we stopped being friends and i tried to kill myself for 2 months because I had never felt so alone. I didnt really have anyone else or anyone I cared about. I stopped because we started being …

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1

Worthless bum

  August 1st, 2017 by Justanotherbody

So, since my grandfather passed in 2010 I haven’t been much of a person. Like my name suggest, I feel like I’m just another body. More like a nobody. I have an amazing wife and three amazing children. I’m truly proud to be their father, but I know they could have better than me. My wife is the most awesome person on the planet. Through every ailment I have had to suffer, and am currently suffering, she is right there to make sure it’s easier on me as I go through it. She is always making sure I eat, even when I have no appetite. …

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3

Mom

  July 23rd, 2017 by firefly11291998

My mom is sadly really sick rn. I am the youngest in the fam. I haven’t wanted to tell anyone any of my problems or worries bc there are other bigger things to worry abt. Recently i have started wondering if her sickness is my fault. I fucked up too many times when she was still with us. And my mom always told and asked me to stop. What if God is punishing her bc of me? What if I were to go……..what if then….everything with this family would go bck to normal. I was the accident. The one who after giving birth to my …

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6

My Parents are Narcissists

  July 22nd, 2017 by BlueDiamond

I’m afraid of writing this post because they might be watching this web-site. I talk and they pretend not to listen, but they’re watching me closely.

I discovered this weeks upon accidently stumbling upon Narcissist parents. They resemble this parenting style the most. When I learned about narcissism. It all everything clicked. Why I’m  so unhappy. Why my self-esteem is so low to almost non-existing. Why my parents confused me, and yet I never wanted to blame them for fear that I’ll upset them like feel their wrath if you challenge let alone question it their ego.

Here, I thought that my mom was overprotected and my …

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3

Quietly Leaving

  July 21st, 2017 by 826

I always wanted it to be quiet and a secret so it would not leave  a negative impact on anyone.

But, I hesitated a lot before my first attempted and they caught me.

Now everyone know about it.

Doing it feels harder because I do not want to hurt them. I saw how bad that affected them.

One day it felt so hard to resist and it was a successful one, anyone would think that iam just sleeping. Unfortunately, I did not realize that i had school on that day, my mom came to wake me for school and i woke up 4 days later to find out that …

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12

Dating and Friendship Advice for the Fat and Depressed

  July 21st, 2017 by BlueDiamond

I had multiple guys contact me, but then I felt emotionally exhausted because I never juggled with so many guys. Flipping through the emails and it’s hard to remember things about each guy. Not to mention, they have to be aware that they flake out, or things don’t work out.

I met a guy today, and we ended up being bored with each other, so it was quick and we shook each other hand good-bye. We really didn’t have much in common.

Plus, I need money to go and do things, but then when I have a job. It’ll be all work and no time to do …

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13

Just have to let something off my chest. Is suicide by cop possible? Down on a dark path. I need help.

  July 21st, 2017 by Black Holez

It’s 2 AM in here and I can’t even sleep with so many things going on in my mind. I didn’t even have thoughts of suicide and killing myself  when first coming to this site but things have been going downhill right now that this is actually the first time that the thought of committing suicide by cop and taking the bastards down who wronged me with me. It scares me that it has come down to this. I just have to let some things out of my chest if I go through with it. I’ve been putting out the facade for too long that …

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4

One More Step.

  July 21st, 2017 by kellinandrew

I tell myself, one more step, every day. When I wake up, I think, just one more day. I try to keep my mind on one day, one moment, at a time. Because when I begin to let my mind drift, I start to slowly drift away. Sliding into an uncontrollable downward spiral. I cannot keep living my life through the small window I have allowed myself. I feel as if I am completely alone. My boyfriend, is gone. Our relationship fell apart after I lost our baby due to a miscarriage. My rape case against my father has been dismissed. So, he is on …

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3

So long, my beloved

  July 19th, 2017 by mranony

I saw my mother died.
I saw every breath she struggling take.
I saw the twitches of her body as she dies.
I felt the warmth slowly leaving her body.
I saw my family breaking as my mother breaks.

And it was petrifying.

And as she was being embalmed,
I burnt every imperfection in my mind.
The scar on her left chest,
The stretch marks that bare the three of us.
And all the hardships she’s been through
etched in every part of her body.

And it was beautiful.

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