People look at us like a pitiful person
Sometimes they call us crazy
Then they laughing at us
Make a joke of our pain
When we cry
We cant tell anyone
Cause we are afraid of how their eyes change
The way they look at us will change
We make war with our mind
We want to give our soul away
And we stuck there
With a plain look
And feel bored
How we ended up here
And how we cant get out
Anymore
Who to blame
Probably ourself
Take me home
For us expecially myself with depression
“They told me pratice makes perfect. But then they told me nobody’s perfect, so I stopped practicing…”
I thought that if I had to fail time after time, if I had to be the Girl Who Got Her Boobs Handler By Her Brother In her Sleep and the Girl Who’s Step-Father Abused Her Mother In Front Of Her and the Girl Who’s Friend Tried To Kill Herself, I could at least be the Girl Who Succeeded Despite Everything. At leats that. At least.
But then I walked into the exam room and only made my already bad grade worse. I finished about four pages before realizing that […]
It’s been two years since I’ve looked at this website. But today, and lately, for a while.. I’ve been thinking about how it’d be if I wasn’t here. It’s not like anybody would notice I’m gone. I lost custody of my daughter for having an eating disorder. I lost my family for failing at treatment. I lost myself trying to recover and pretending that I’m okay. And now I’m left with nothing and nobody and I’m just done. I want to die. I want to be alone forever and not have to eat or drink water or move or think or cry. I wish I […]
they say its better to burnt out then fade away.
well I’m burnt out
but i wish i didn’t
i wish i faded away
finding my self at the side of the tube
taking that step
how easy would that be
how fast would that be
just that one step
and i would fade away
but right now
i’m in my bed
lost and sad
again
again
burnt out hoping to make others life better
to give all i’ve got
but there is nothing left
now i just fuck things up
throwing all i have left away
life is all there is left
the every next breath […]
Alright. Time to get this off my chest. Since I’ve been a kid, my parents haven’t been the nicest. They both struggled with alcohol before they had me and many would say my dad acts like a dry drunk. He has anger issues, and its scary sometimes. I’m 16 now, and I’m still scared of my dad. Just today he punched my brother in the face because my brother had a smart alec tone. All I can do is just let it happen. I don’t see my dad often because he works in New Jersey and I live in Georgia, so I guess that’s a […]
Goodbye cruel world. I can’t keep doing this shit. I tried to clean up my life. Got off drugs and such. Interviewed hard and had a sweet job lined up. 50k a year lots of benefits and now I find out that I somehow failed the drug test for the job despite not smoking any weed for 4 entire weeks. Somehow it was positive for weed. So no job. No gas. No hope left. I would have been lucky to get to work starting Monday and not run out of gas before the first paycheck. I have 40 dollars left. That might be just enough […]
Hi guys, my name is Bianca and this is a story of my struggles with anxiety, depression, bipolar, anorexia, and then SUICIDE. when i was 6 my parents abandoned me at the doorstep of a strangers house. The last thing they said to me was that they hated me… That i was a mistake… that i was a disappointment… then they drove away. the people who owned the house saw and heard the whole thing and took me inside. I lived with them for 3 weeks then the put me in the hands of social services to find me a forever home. I stopped eating, […]
So, if you didn’t already know, you are now the third person that knows about this, I don’t like to tell people unless they are really close or I end up upsetting them therefore id tell them. Well last summer in 2018 I had the worst months of my life, there were 2 weeks where I decided not to eat at all and got taken to the hospital. I was in a state of mind where dying was the most important accomplishment for me. I’d lost the one person who made me stronger and who made me, me. I spent months on end crying and […]
I have two brothers who despise my father as well. He had always demeaned us since we were children(the oldest[aka kuya] is at least 37 and my other brother who lives with us is 24, I am 17 turning 18 in august). This is my last year of highschool and my father continued to tell me I would never graduate and amount to anything(to this day). He left beginning of Sophomore year and left my mom with no money when we were getting kicked out. I had talks with my mother while we were adjusting to our new life, and she admits that shes okay […]
Title: AI in the future / A.I in the future / Artificial Intelligence in the future ; VR in the future / V.R in the future / Virtual Reality in the future ; Transhumanism in the future ; technology in the future ; Life is boring ; Life sucks ; escape from reality
The more detailed post:
AI is the future
A.I is the future
Artificial Intelligence is the future
because Life is boring / reality is boring / real life is boring / real world is boring
VR is the future
V.R is the future
Virtual Reality is the future
because Life is boring […]
Everything’s Okay
I am like a last-born flamingo in a drying out world, with salted legs as rough and heavy as rocks, left behind; alone and lonely. On Earth where people who deserve to live are giving their lives up, suffering; why does someone like me, who doesn’t have any kind of talent and ruins everything she touches is still living. I don’t deserve to live. Why was I even born? There is no reason for me to be here, I have no use in anything: only damage and harm. Well okay, we can’t change the fact that I was born but the real question […]
I have literally tried this 50 times. With a robe thing, shoelaces, tourniquet. Everything. I cannot pass out. How the hell do people die from this? I am so irritated I could light myself on fire. HOW DO I HANG MYSELF AND PASS OUT???????
d3miurg3 Why don’t you go get paralysed from the neck down you abdominal twat ****
Something is wrong
Its been more than 2 weeks since im sick…
When i dont eat maid’s cooking im okay..
But when i eat it im sick again
Its already 2 times i skip her cooking and im really really fine
Something is wrong..
But my mom doesnt believe me
What shiuld i do?
Its so weird..
I think im going to die soon..
Not because i take my life.. but she take my life
Believe me mom..
Please believe me…
Hi, again
So i already said that i will kill myself, but there are something that i want to do.
My mother and my brother are really assholes that say shit every time they want… the idea of i kill myself is origanilly from them… yeah i kind fucked. And you guys know… if i gonna die why should say to them go to hell? Say that tgey are assholes and all those things
And there is my gf’s family, they say shit to her sometimes and her dad is a asshole. She has depression (im a piece of shit for let this happen to […]
Im really sick yet i dont have courage to die
I hate myself so much
Even parents hate me so much
They want to kill me
Because i dont have nothing to give them
Unlike my sisters
Im just a pile of garbage
Nothing precious
They always scream at me
Thwy always discriminate me
They always underestimate me
I have nothing but failure and pain
Its been 2 weeks since im lying in my bed
Iv thought about my own death since I was a child. I almost went through with it in high school and experienced what I felt was a supernatural phenomenon, which in turn kept me going for a long time. Years of trauma, childhood neglect, multiple rapes around college, and being told it was my fault by my community has caused me to keep my hope for death close to my heart. Over the years I’ve experinced successes and failures. More rapes, homelessness, being assulted by cops. I remember thinking one day, this is the day, and then seeing a reflection of myself in a window […]
People can’t seem to understand when I tell them that 95% of my time on this earth has been suffering or painful.
Yes there are good times and good friends but they are so few and far between it’s just painful to continue. I’m pretty sure I have major depression, but without any money or healthcare coverage I can’t get it diagnosed, and honestly I really don’t care enough to try anymore.
Also lost my job in 2014, lost my health care coverage, and was rejected for unemployment or assistance of any kind. I had to sell the house, most of my belongings, and burn all of […]
im not feeling too good not sure if it’s even worth it to mention i wrote a suicide note about a week ago it said if i finish all of my courses i’ll go ahead and kill myself so just in case it doesn’t work i can still graduate high school it said my abusive dysfunctional horrible family makes me so depressed that i want to take my own life and have for nearly the past 5 years i don’t even care about living to my 17th birthday because i can barely handle today how can i manage making it 2 more months i feel […]
Another day. I made it. Everything’s as usual. Some things sucks but some are getting better. I’m just hoping that i would at some point would feel different than i was yesterday. Like a happy story in some books or movies. I’m trying to be like i’m not a sad story. I mean, there were moments that i felt that i succeeded but at the end of the day, all came back. When i lay down in bed, these thoughts and feelings haunt me. I didn’t know what to do. So here i am. Writing this and hoping that somewhere someone is feeling the same […]
I’m sorry… I’m sorry to everybody that I don’t have enough strength to get through everything anymore. I’m sorry that I’m hurting and need it to stop and there is only one way for that to happen. I’m sorry for being “selfish”, although I have never seen it that way. As much as I might try to blame this on my parents, my school, my work or my friends, it’s nobody’s fault but my own for letting myself live in such mental agony that I can no longer deal with.
First of all, I need to make sure that my beautiful cat is looked […]
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