My wish is this one day I have it all ended. Where Do I began? Im 16, Just faking everything. I attempted Sucicde countless times from anything from Suffocation, Overdose, Cutting, Strangling and have tried hanging. All of them have failed and caused pain for me. I have a girlfriend I hate my life and my family. I wish I could run away and not be affected by anything. I got into trouble at school for Depression thoughts, Self-Harm. I was sent to the hospital twice for a week. Put me on meds and never really helped. The Hospitial is out and I will run […]
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it all
I feel so alone. And sad. And scared. And I have no hope of any of that changing. I don’t know why I keep doing this to myself. Maybe on some level I enjoy being miserable. Maybe I’m addicted to hopelessness. Maybe it’s my survival instinct, refusing to accept that it would be better to end it. Perhaps I’m more afraid of death than I am of the pain of life.
So I won’t do what seems like the logical choice. I won’t end it. But I don’t know how to live with this feeling. I don’t know how to find meaning in a world where […]
I’m not one to think of suicide when something bad happens in my life, but everyone at my school has drove me to that thought. I’ve always been bullied and been last or never picked cause of what people would say about me and how I’d be treated like someone’s little *****.. but it’s was always my nature to fucking forgive them and shit. I started to contemplate of ways to do suicide and actually think of myself never being there in people’s lives anymore and who’d about who would attend my funeral, but that was what drove me to not doing it ,because I […]
Fuck this world ! Fuck its creator! Fuck this reality !! None of us asked to be here !! We only die when we have something to live for but you can go all ur life jus wanting the peace of death nd will never get it !!! So fuck this world cant wait for it to blow up!!! #wherethefuckisarmageden
Nobody gets it. I dont want help. I dont want to talk. I dont want drugs or therapy or company. I have tried all my life to want to live but I never have wanted it. I didnt ask for this life. I dont want to feel better or try again or look on the bright side or give it time. What i want is to turn it all off.
I don’t really know what to say here, but I almost just hanged myself (hung? not sure). Not the first time. The only reason I talked myself out of it is because I can’t stand the thought of my mom walking in on my dead body. I don’t want her to have to go through that. But I want to end it so badly. I’m so unhappy, and so confused and overwhelmed. I don’t know what to do.
I’ve been going to therapy for a few months now and I’m on antidepressants. But I don’t know how to talk to my therapist, and so nothing […]
For starters, you’re going to die. I assure you of this. I’m not saying to off yourself. I’m not saying you’ll be plagued with illness. Just that death is inevitable.
To the younger folks here. .. the teens and such. Well, I’m not trying to minimize your struggles, your feelings….but they’re so small. Someday you’ll see that. High school is so meaningless in the grand scheme. Parents suck, for one, that’s how it’s supposed to be. For two, you don’t have to stay attached to them. Shortly, you can go forge a path. No love interest? What’s the odds of actually staying with a hs […]
Hey cordless, I was reading some of the previous post and seen the one you did about your claw ring and had to say that it is a very cool ring, I had a close bro give me the exact same ring about 20 years ago, this one was made out of brass ( of all things ) the funny thing is that I still have it all this time later. When I read your post and seen the ring I looked for mine and found it, along with some other stuff I have forgotten about. Thanks bringing back some really cool […]
Lately I’ve been skeptical
Silent when I would used to speak
Distant from all around me
You witness me fail and become weak
Life is overwhelming
Heavy is the head that wears the crown
I’d love to be the one
Disappoints you when I don’t fall down
But you don’t understand when
I’m attempting to explain
Because you know it all
And I guess will never change
But you might need my hand when
You’re falling in your hole
Your.disposition
I’ll remember
When I’m letting go of You and me
Were through
So rearranged
She walks through this life
Untouchable
Like sunlight through fog
Protractible
Shes kidnapped your heart
Impressionable
You’ll never break down her wall
Understandable
Its ‘cos of what she’s been through
Detestable
You wanna make it all right
Commendable
But shes got her own plan
Irreversible
And when its all done……forgivable.
Help me if you can
Its just that this
Is not the way I’m wired
So could you please
Help me to understand
Why
You’re giving in to all these
Wreckless dark desires
You’re lying to yourself again.
Suicidal imbecile.
Think about it.
You’re pounding on the fault line.
What’s it gonna take to get it through to you precious.
I’m over this.
Why do you wanna through it all away like this?
Such a mess.
Well I don’t wanna watch you
Disconnect and self destruct one bullet at time.
What’s your rush now?
Everyone will have his day to die.
Everytime I go outside and see normal happy people it shakes me up inside. I press my lips together, and shut my eyes in tension. All the people that I used to know, just normal guys got it all. Money, house, car, relationship/marriage. Everything. All these people were just normal, nothing special, most were dumber than me academically, similar or worse socially. Many were younger. Yet all of them got it all together, got awesome jobs, get paid well. Got everything. Why is it that everytime I try to do something I fail? I do great with things, any complex problem I can solve as […]
I’ve been battling depression since the age of 13. In my community depression is seen as a sin. So I developed an outer shell that showed the world all was well. At 33 almost 34 married to a loving wife and 2 beautiful daughters, how is it that I can be so blessed yet so empty? Why do I consider death as a reprieve?
People, when I have broached the subject tell me it’s all in my mind, I opened up to my wife and she says she’ll help but is indifferent towards me now. I’m not even hanging on by a thread and up […]
So I’m new on here and just found the site today but I think this could be beneficial for me. I am 27 years of age, I’ve been married over a year (almost 6 years with the guy), our house and car are paid off, and I have two wonderful dogs. I don’t know why I’m feeling this way. I’ve struggled with depression off and on for awhile and it’s getting bad now. I am so sorry in advance this is going to be long…
My husband is loving but not understanding at all, he is homemaker (I think that’s what it’s […]
Bree hasn’t left me alone all day. Neither have the voices. They’ve all been taunting me, knowing what was happening today. My Nan had a hospital appointment. She’d been getting pains in her back. Turns out, her terminal cancer has spread to her spine now. And it’s all my fault.
They warned me. The voices warned me, the Angels warned me. Bree warned me. They said they would make my family suffer if I didn’t do what they said. Now they’ve done this. This is all my fault. And everything will only get worse if I don’t listen to them.
I told everyone it would be bad […]
But I feel like I keep finding myself drinking more and more as time passes. And that’d be fine if there wasn’t this ever increasing desire to just keep drinking. I mean I had a few drinks about a week ago and as the week’s gone on I feel like all this jerking me around my life does has me just aching for it. Something’s gotta give here… either the bullshit life throws at me, or perhaps I’m subliminally asking for it or something, I don’t know, or my will to not become like the rest of my family members is going to break. And […]
I’ve just come back from a long late night walk [UK] on a Saturday night [weirdo uh?]. Just to try and beat the massive psychosomatic anxiety for a while. I am incredibly lonely, the only people I talk to are my aging parents. The world is a terrifying and unforgiving place for meek people like me. The isolation is slowly sending me insane. My parents know I’m deeply depressed but not that I crave death. I feel I live in a world full of happy people who will never understand or feel the pain people like me do so they will never understand or empathize. […]
She loved me. She loved that I was a doctor. She loved that I helped people. When she talked to her best friend about me, she gushed about how I was a kind, generous, caring person that l loved kids.
I loved her. I loved how full of life she was. I loved that she was always trying to better herself. When I told my friends about her, I told them she was perfect. Warm, sunny, gentle. The perfect girl for me.
We named our future kids. Picked out our future house. Chose our future dog. She wanted it all. I wanted it all. We both did, […]
“I fell in love with the smile she hid behind her hands, the one that flashed up and waved with brilliant colors when caught by surprise. It was the purest point of joy–the laugh that bubbled up and the creases at the corners of her eyes–her hair and hands rushing to her face to contain it all. But she was never fast enough, her happiness too much to be quelled so easily, and just enough would slip through to soothe the deep ache my yearning had burned into my heart.”
i thought about someone who isn’t here anymore. i felt i should write how she was and put it […]
I keep going, day after day, doing the same old bullshit while I wait to be crammed into a dorm with three other people for the next two years who will come and go and be replaced and whatnot. All so I can get a career in forestry to make me money while I go try to get a proper biology degree. For what? The only reason I do this is literally with the hope that humans will launch me off the planet to go die in space and maybe see some cool shit before I die. I have no hopes nor prospects for love, […]
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