I’m 32, I failed at life. I suffer from PTSD because of sexual abuse during my childhood. I’m seeing a therapist, I’ve had lots of therapy in the past and I just can’t seem to get myself together. I hate it, I feel lonely. I know I don’t want to die but this is not living either. Ptsd symptoms started showing about 10 years ago when I fell in love, we broke up 1,5 years ago. I just felt like I was getting worse and worse. It’s hard to come by financially and I’m just tired of fighting of feeling like this . I’m done […]
You’re most likely wondering why I so boldly asked for you to read this post. Well, I did so because I have something to say that I believe will benefit you, no matter if this site applies to you or not.
I’ve had an unbelievable amount of personal experiences in my life that in reality could have shattered me from the start but instead, here I am writing this […]
I’m tormented every single day of my life by so many things and I don’t know how to keep going. My aunt passed away a little over a month ago and it hurts just as much now as it did the day I found out. It hurts to know the death will soon be coming for my great aunt and grandmother whom I have lived with my whole life. When they die I will truly have nothing and no one in this world. I don’t think any amount of time can prepare me for when it happens. I can’t live my life!!! I cry all […]
I’m sat here again staring at the ceiling with tears down my cheeks which have imbedded themselves into my pillow. Why am I the one who over attached to everything. My bffs have kindly told me they couldn’t care less if I killed myself apparently it’s like I’m invisible anyway. I don’t understand what I did wrong? I try my hardest in school, I try my hardest to be accepted for the real me and I try my hardest to be good enough but how ever hard I try it just gets thrown back in my face. I’m used to being a no one now. […]
I have been feeling the icy tendrils of depression wrapping around my ankles for a few weeks now. The mist of bored distress have filled my mind. I can’t concentrate on school… This is not good. I am finding it more difficult to stay positive and use my healthy coping skills. In my head it sounds like a screaming saw “Cut, cut, cut” and I can only visualize the plethora of methods to take my life. I jumped off an overpass once… Broke my leg… Obviously it didn’t kill me. Now I know better. I am afraid of those hesitation marks. The ones that hurt. […]
can someone help me? if you come across this post, please read the whole thing. i feel really stuck.
theres a lot of reasons why i finally accepted I’m suicidal. I’ve tried to kill myself before but i was too weak to do it. i was scared and i couldn’t stop thinking about my mom finding me. i feel like it would be the easiest way to deal with life, i honestly feel like if i was dead everything would be so much better and specially i wouldn’t have to worry about anything. if i died i don’t care what happens i just hope that i […]
I’ve always liked this as I find it very true. So if I’m going to tell someone, it may as well be with people who might have similar experiences. My chapter surprisingly isn’t my depression or suicidal tendencies; instead it is my addiction problem. I’ve been exposed to drugs and therefore addiction a majority of […]
But I feel like I keep finding myself drinking more and more as time passes. And that’d be fine if there wasn’t this ever increasing desire to just keep drinking. I mean I had a few drinks about a week ago and as the week’s gone on I feel like all this jerking me around my life does has me just aching for it. Something’s gotta give here… either the bullshit life throws at me, or perhaps I’m subliminally asking for it or something, I don’t know, or my will to not become like the rest of my family members is going to break. And […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I’m not supposed to be here.not even to talk. Even this site, I just wanted to leave my story before I go. I registered set password and it told me it was wrong and asked if I wanted to change my pass word, but I’ve never been here. See I’m always pushed not to talk.
When I was 3 1/2 yrs old, I helped my mother dig up hemlock bushes. She dug around it and clipped the roots, but she couldn’t get to the center root. So she handed me the clippers with the long wooden handles and short curved nose. And I cut the root.
On […]
In 2004, I was pondering about means to commit suicide during two months. I suffered from post natal depression after my second child’s birth. I lost ten pounds in a week, slept about two hours a night, I felt numb most of the times . Each time I felt the pain rising, I played with a knife, or pills, or I went out thinking about getting a gun. I wanted to die, but I was not sure I could succeed, and another failure was out of order.
So one night after the pain was so acute, I got drunk and afterwards, I felt so low that […]
Well…
It’s so hard to write about this. U’ll be the first people who will know the truth about me even though you even don’t know my real name.
So…When my mom was pregnant, it turned up she had MS. This cannot be cured. There is no treatment. No chance. It can only gets worse. And it gets. I was the child she was going to born. My mom had the second, healthy baby but I’d like not to be ever born. If I hadn’t be born, she would be healthy now. She could be leading a happy life with my father and sister.In the first years […]
I have fully recovered from my recent attempt, physically speaking. I had an epiphany during this experience, that my life does matter, that I matter; but that feeling of inner strength blew out so quickly and too easily. I’m left here feeling hopeless and empty again, and that’s why I’m frustrated. I’m either feeling numb, sad, mildly euphoric, or feeling too energetic and irritable (mixed episode). Currently, I’m not suicidal, but I do feel self-destructive at least once a day, if not more often, and when those feelings and emotions become irritating or overwhelming, I turn to alcohol, again. All though, I’m feeling slightly proud […]
I’m sitting here on my bedroom floor, blood dripping from my fingers, trying to convince myself to just end it all. It could all be over so quick. How can that not be tempting. I’ve often thought I’d wanna go painlessly, up until recently. My life has shattered around me, the people I cared about most have up and left. I decided that I didn’t give a fuck anymore. I decided “fuck love” and “fuck right and wrong. Nothing in my life has ever been right.” I’ve been wasting myself, losing myself. I hate myself for the things I’ve done, but I don’t care enough […]
It was almost magical, the way we met. We had talked online occasionally for a few months before, on and off. The day before she went back to school from spring break, she told me where her home was. Only a 30 minute drive from where I lived. We immediately decided to meet. When we met we exchanged stuffed animals. She thought I was going to take her to Taco Bell. I ended up sharing a plate of pasta with her in a restaurant, then brought her home where we watched a movie. Her head was in my lap, and looking deep in each others’ […]
I am so confused. People know me as a happy person. They dont see me getting angry. I’m not the type of person who show anger. But deep inside I’m hurting and crying. I rather cry on the corner and let it go. I feel blessed because of how lucky i am. I have complete parents, i have sisters, i have so many friends. All of my problems feels like i want to end my life. But a guy came to my life and changed everything. Were two years from now. And i love him so much. Im thankful that he never leaves me. I […]
Hiya, hope everyone is doing ok today? And if not well, lets hope ur just doing…
I just finished work and after much soul searching have decided there is NOthing I can do about how others perceive me. I spent the last 18 or so hours wondering if my comments here on SP were good enough, closely followed by some things I said to work colleagues, and then the finalie was wondering why my fcuk face alcoholic father hasnt responded to calls or texts from me, after we not spoken for like 4 years. It’s retarded that I hate him yet for the […]
(Maybe this is an official “I’m back” post? We’ll see if my mind can keep on track. Good luck following my thoughts.)
I thought I was set for life because I had it planned out until retirement. Graduate high school, go to college and get my degree in accounting, get a job and earn promotions for the next 40 years of my life, retire and move to someplace beautiful and expensive, then wait to die. And I thought no more about it other than just a basic, simple, normal life. That was when I was in 9th grade when I made that plan. I have gone through […]
Hi,
I’m here, can’t sleep, my stomach aches, I can’t force myself to learn. That’s why I’m writing. I just need to organise what’s on my mind. In the last years, so many things happened. I couldn’t even think about it. I stopped writing a diary. But it’s high time to make a confession, isn’t it? Time of decisions came. I’m just not sure if I’m ready for that. If I’m ready to think twice about the things that make me cry even now. But if I want to leave, I don’t want to leave a mess. Does it make any sense?
I’m planning to write about […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.