I had to write an essay for one of my teachers and I don’t know what I was thinking when I wrote about my suicide thoughts and my scars. And so now my whole family knows and they are giving me all of the attention, and now I have to go to a therapist. I hate all of the attention, and I hate that now I have a therapist. I hate talking about how I’m feeling to someone face to face. That’s why I talk here, I can talk to all of you and you won’t know who I am what I look like, and […]
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think
this is more to do with the comments than the post itself, i tried to write a comment but it didnt seem to post, so ill just put it here, as you can see its long, perhaps theres a word limit on comments? either way after writing so much i would be irritated to just delete it
Wow, this one really blew up didnt it? Just a couple of pints id like to add after reading all the comments.
Firstly is the discussion over ways to help, @salt you know i agree with what you say regarding more serious members need more serious help instead of […]
When you feel your insides getting brittle.
When the day has done your mind more whittle.
Lighten the mood for just a little…
Wipe from your lips the sorrow’s spittle.
Appease your spirit’s daily kittle,
and think twisted thoughts, smile a little.
Hi,
I’m here, can’t sleep, my stomach aches, I can’t force myself to learn. That’s why I’m writing. I just need to organise what’s on my mind. In the last years, so many things happened. I couldn’t even think about it. I stopped writing a diary. But it’s high time to make a confession, isn’t it? Time of decisions came. I’m just not sure if I’m ready for that. If I’m ready to think twice about the things that make me cry even now. But if I want to leave, I don’t want to leave a mess. Does it make any sense?
I’m planning to write about […]
Anxiety , bipolar disorder , and depression. I feel like I have been falling some what back into my old ways again. I’m falling apart . And all I can think about about is suicide again lately . I find it bringing a peaceful end to my life .
Basically i have been dating this guy for just over 3 months and honestly i know i like him a lot, just not love i think.
But my mum just made me dump him tonight
So i just feel empty and feel like crying, which i already have.. a lot
i dont know what to do
I’m heading on towards the future and I’m being told to start thinking about my future. The scary part is, though, I don’t see myself having one. I try to think about it, me going to college, having a job, meeting someone special. But I just can’t see it. I’m so scared because everyone around me is figuring things out, and I don’t know if I even want to live ’til the end of high school. My chest tightens up, my head starts hurting, everything gets a bit fuzzy, and my head becomes an empty void. Is this just me?
I don’t even know how to […]
In the beginning
They were just two kids
One lived with depression
The other lived in bliss
They found a new feeling
On June 26
Their world changed forever
After the first kiss
Months passed
At times life felt jaded
But they knew
They couldn’t be separated
Throughout their time
Love never faded
Storms came
But always dissipated
Colors vanished
On this one day
He could see red blood
But the sky turned grey
His angel had left
He started to decay
Sweet lovely death
She flew away
The still young child
Wept through the dreamland
He was walking alone
Though he could barely stand
He felt something […]
I am sick of my life. The only thing stopping me from killing myself is my cat. I have promised I won’t leave him.
I am trapped in a life that I never chose for myself. There is no way out. I’m tired of carrying on, day after week after year, with no hope for a future.
I have tried everything I can think of. Everything I can realistically do. I’m not depressed. I’m just tired of my life.
Please, don’t anybody give me the usual bullshit that’s found on the internet. “It gets better” Really? It’s been shit for the past 28 years and *really* shit for […]
So I watched two Matrix like movies (World on a wire & The thirteenth floor) and this documentary and I’m back to the thinking world again.
What is life and how are we any different from, say, a rock? I can’t get my head around feeling like a character in video game. What if I’m told today by a supernatural being that this really is a simulation and I’m a Mario like character in it? What difference will this revelation make in my life? I don’t think it will bring any difference. I will keep suffering from same things I suffer now. The state I’m […]
I don’t think people here really appreciate the hard work you put to this site. You’ve given us broken people here a community that has saved many lives and brought many of us life-long friends. Thank you for everything that you’ve built for us. You’re all the coolest!
P.s. the default picture icons you added to this site is way cool.
P.p.s .. Adding messaging would be cool too.. And complementary cookies.
Ok, so I realized that I’ve been doing something weird. I’ll find myself laughing or smiling about something, and then I’ll focus on it and feel bad about laughing or smiling… then I immediately think of stuff that makes me depressed and I shift right back into my depression. It’s like… I refuse to allow myself to feel any kind of happiness.
I don’t know what this is… It’s like I’m punishing myself. I don’t understand what I’m doing to myself.
Does anyone else do this?
Sometimes I think I’ve legitimately gone mental. My mind constantly feels like it’s spinning like that gravity ride thing at the fair (some of you know what I’m talking about lol) but it gets to this point where I lose sense of my own being, and I feel so weird and abnormal, and sometimes like a different creature or a different kind of being. I can’t explain it, but my mind is a roller coaster and I think that one of these days I’m going to completely snap on myself.
Does anyone know? I didn’t think they were inappropriate and they weren’t mean or anything. It just kind of bums me out since I take time and put thought into my replies and they keep going straight to trash.
I had a post a couple days ago where I mentioned I was very seriously considering killing myself that day. I don’t think anyone saw it so it probably doesn’t matter, but in case anyone did wonder, I’m still here.
Anyway, my therapist told me she thinks I am self-aware and articulate, and I’m pretty much still reeling from the fact that someone who has any insight into the inner workings of my mind would have anything even remotely complimentary to say. So there’s that, I guess.
For as long as I can remember, I didn’t think life was worth living because everything in my eyes was absurd, then I met a guy, started talking to him and he made me feel loved, he gave me a reason to smile again, But on October 20th I got word that my nephew had committed suicide. I hit a new low. I was at ROCK BOTTOM. Getting that news was paralyzing. I felt like my dreams were ripped from my very hands, torn, and thrown in my face. I started to shut everyone out including the guy who was my light for several months. […]
FYI: “Psychoface” is my endearing term for a psychiatrist 🙂 Actually, she’s a certified nurse practitioner, but I chose her because she’s a native English speaker. She’s turning out to be no better or worse than the MDs I’ve seen recently, except for this one thing….
Just wondering how many of you have been prescribed antidepressants for bipolar type I or II disorder and of you how many have benefited from them? I was diagnosed bipolar II and general anxiety disorder, and I haven’t read a lot of benefits from taking antidepressants and that it can induce manic episodes (which I don’t need more of).
Just for some […]
Today someone was talking about suicide and he said no matter how bad it was it would get better. He then offered an anecdote of how he had a friend who had a friend who wanted to kill herself, and when she called up the friend and told him she wanted to kill herself and listed all the reasons why, he told her she was right but that she should wait a year, and then she did, and within a year her life had turned around, she was happy, etc. I want to know, where do people even come up with this bullsh*t?? do they just assume […]
…I haven’t posted in a while, and that’s becouse I’ve been trying to be happy and stay happy. But why do I always end up at the starting point, feeling worthless and tired? This deppression suffocates me, it’s not letting go. Sharp knife rests on my wrist begging to slice it open! I know I shouldn’t do it. Trying to restrain myself….but it feels so good! The pain is addictive, the blood is beautiful! I’m afraid of what people will think of me if I tell them how I feel. Will they think I’m weird and insane? Am I weird? Am I insane?