Life is so full. Full of things and actions and questions and answers and life and color and music and beautiful beautiful things and people. But there are also ugly things. It was all fun and games until my imbalanced brain woke up and realized it could think. All downhill from there. There is still the beauty I long to experience. Each unique wave on each shore, the sunrise and sunset, sun showers and rainstorms and deafening thunder and blitzing lightning. Things growing, things dying. New life and old life watching the color infuse each day. New creatures and old, flying and digging and climbing […]
I’m so god damn lonely, a pretty girl could say the slightest compliment and I would fall head over heels. The next day, they would treat me like a sack of shit and it would break my heart and shatter my self esteem. I’m so fragile its pathetic. It’s not just for girls though. I could meet a new friend, and it seemed like they really understood me and for a few weeks, it feels like I’m not alone. Turns out the feelings weren’t mutual and they cast you aside, and all of a sudden we’re strangers again.
Does anyone have any tips on how to […]
What will be left after the phsical body. Your thoughts you soul. Why should I be scared of dying wheb death is the beginning of another life. You feel I feel it we all feel it. I have been on esrth enough and im sick of it tuly. Im not mad sad or happy. I am ready to go home. I have had enough of the rude its time to find a new ride if this was a choice to live this life I have now I must have forgotten ehy I ask god to give it to me so I just want to go […]
I’m a NEET for 3 years, I was a programmer, but for some reason, I lost any desire to do programming after I slipped and hit my head. I had depression for a long time, and I’m too poor to visit psychiatrist so I don’t know how to fix it until today. Today is my birthday, so all my relatives “celebrates” it while I locked myself in my room. I felt sick that despite I’m being worthless, my parent still buy lots of food and invites their friends. I’m planning to kill myself by hanging tomorrow, since it’s quite a nice date (10/10). I might […]
Some people are cold, others more fiery, some are neutral. Some don’t really care about others. Some have more energy. Some are mean, others are a little better. Some are selfish, some care about others, or other lifeforms and things. People act in a more machine like way instead of being more humane, more life like.
I want to feel loved. I long the feeling of being desired by someone. I want to feel like people out there love me and want me to exist. I want to have a reason not to kill my self. I want people who show me I matter and that i will be missed. But I don’t have those people. I just have sadness and emptiness. I have people who don’t bother to reach out to me and shallow friends. Give me a reason to stay alive. Don’t make me regret not killing my self. Because right now, I regret not killing my self when […]
Whether you’re moving from city to city, town to town, from one job to the next and from daydream to daydream, I imagine that many of us feel lost.
This is my first post (albeit I’ve been lurking for a couple of years now) and I thought I would try and connect with this thoughtful and supportive community.
My name is Grey (alias), I live on Vancouver Island, and I am a survivor of many, many years of chronic depression. I have had 4 episodes of major suicidal depression during those countless years, with 2 occurring in the last 3 years. I am also a survivor of […]
I’ve been fighting with depression for 5 years now, and I can’t honestly say when was the last time I thought “Jeez, life is good” or “Damn I love life”. I have considered suicide countless times, nearly on a daily basis, and have gotten close to doing it a couple times.
However I’m not just here to mope as usual, I want to change my life for the better. I’ve been in a shitty state of mind for way too long now, and I just want to be happy. I have done lots of research on how to get better, but I don’t think there’s a […]
I’m still here, found some friends who have been making my life better which has helped. Husband and I lost the house, we got some money back from it. And are now living with his parents. I’ve spent some of the money unbeknownst to him and now after 9 years (celebrated our 9th on Sep 27th) I am planning on leaving him. I wanted to know if ya’ll have any suggestions on what i should do before dropping this bomb on him that im walking away. Things have gotten good then bad and now worst, he is always angry at me and is now playfully […]
You should comment some of your current thoughts
I have realized that this entire time I have been feeling “happy” I have just been wearing a mask. A mask that has done it’s job so well it even convinced me. And it is so-fucking-exhausting! The past, maybe, two years I have successfully convinced myself and those around me that I am happy, I am confident, I don’t let things get to me, and that I am a fun guy. Truth is I fucking hate myself and I am ridiculously lonely. It is exhausting because I have created this expectation for myself and when I can’t meet them I am “being weird.” And I […]
Imagine not being alone. Imagine there was someone you could be around without crippling fear. Imagine being able to let someone, anyone in. Imagine experiencing a sense of peace and contentment. Imagine not having to hide yourself from the world. Imagine not being a twisted evil narcissistic failure of a person. Imagine someone actually knowing you. Imagine emotional intimacy. Imagine a partner, someone truly on your side. Imagine the background hum of dread subsiding. Imagine feeling glad you were alive. Imagine having a future. Imagine not being consumed with shame, guilt and self-hatred. Imagine experiencing real hope again. Imagine not seeing this world as a […]
Straight into that vortex. Now I’m the focal point between the currents, wandering around looking for some ham to put on my toast.
I asked my friend if he thought i was and he said yes. And today my SO said “i havent been myself”
This is the new thing on this board. They won’t post you’re post unless they review it first. I said something about trump so they didn’t post it. Goodbye Suicide Project. I can’t think of the word. Someone please help me. I think it’s called Fear. You’re trump lovers and I get that but you’re a joke. You should have posted my post but you didn’t do it because I said something against your Dear Leader. I’m never posting on this board again.
Our Dear Leader went on a Twitter rampage again. Imagine if it was George Washington doing this sending messages by horses? “And now that you’ve come back here’s 2 more I want you to deliver.” Then when he gets back “Here’s another one. Deliver it!” The guy would have probably said “Excuse me Mr. President. Can you get your thoughts into one cohesive message? My horse is getting tired.
Tried to post but it didn’t work. “No comments allowed” What does that mean ? I didn’t make a comment. I tried to post.
I was in the shower.
She wasn’t doing great, but what was new.
She texted me to tell me she wanted to die. I knew that. I told her what I always do. I tried to come up with new things to say but nothing was quite right.
She said she was done. She sent me a picture of the a bottle full of pills.
She couldn’t open it.
I could hear the desperation in her voice despite the fact that we were only texting.
I was crying. I didn’t know what to do. Do I call someone? Who do I call? I have her […]