So I’m someone whose really gentle with others, maybe a little bit too much sometimes, and I’m also very shy, I also went through a period of bullying, which was resolved last year thanks to a girl I loved and with whom we got along very well, one day everything broke and then got repaired and so on, the problem is that I’m at fault, I wanted to get things done too much, now I’m afraid to talk with anyone, so I found comfort in the alcohol but one day a friend of mine told me that she was going out with someone when she […]
I think I’ve really reached the bounds of existing now. I have nothing to look forward to. Look I know the world already sucked, but now it well and truly sucks. I’m tired of complaining because I know that so many people have it worse than me right now. There’s so much damage that’s been caused in the world and I don’t see an end in sight.
A few weeks ago I was invited to a wow guild, I’m sure the people there seemed friendly enough to some degree, but all in all I’m sure they didn’t want to hear about my misery anymore. I […]
This empty feeling fills my stomach. The girl who tried to get with my boyfriend so that “id kill myself” acting like I completely made up everything I told my man and acted like I was a crazy liar. now I sit in my room, filled with emptiness. I know the truth but in the back of my mind it feels like no one will believe me when she full heartedly denies it and acts like a fake *****. sorry for the complaining. just another day to conquer I guess. something just doesn’t feel right. manipulation and deceit have fucked up my mind. I see […]
I’ve decided I need to stop talking / typing / thinking / etc. It’s just plain bad. I put my foot in my mouth so much that all I can taste are nasty dirty socks. Especially when I’m tired and have been pulling loads of 12’s and got loaded up with modafinil to plow through it. I took too many last night and now I won’t sleep today, and I’ll do it all again tonight. And our lead is on medical leave, so I’m in charge of running this stupid freaking electric furnace the size of a house while coordinating our team and managing production. […]
I’m numb. I really don’t feel much and I am constantly thinking of ways to die. All the time. All the fucking time. But what’s stopping me? Lots is actually. But I know that won’t last long. I know it’ll get worse and that I’ll try and kill myself again. I know it. It’s been like this for the last 4 years. I don’t know if I have the strength to break the pattern. I really don’t. Give me something tangible to hold onto. Give me something real. Give me something that will actually stop me this time.
for years i told myself it could have been worse……and now sometimes i want to deserve my pain
Close to doing it
It’s simple and I’ve come to accept that my life is a failure. I agree that not every living body has the ability to play this game. “Living” (game of life)
Mentally and physically the older you get the less you can control. What boosts your chances of having success is adopting early to the challenges we typically face has humans. Being social enough to have friends, learn to speak with strangers. Work hard and bring value to share with your family. Express emotions with the opposite sex to love and protect.
Ive took it all for granted.. didnt bother to learn from my […]
Have you ever feel like you have an empty space where your heart/soul/whatever was supposed to be? Well, I’m this way right now… I am empty… I remember how I liked to draw a lot when I was a kid/teenager but right now I feel like a failure, I don’t enjoy drawing at all anymore. The worst of all is that I’m 29 y/o and I feel like I have wasted my entire life. I have been bullied during all my school life, from elementary to university (yup, university too…) It was not physical and psychological abuse only, but sexual too. What’s the worst part […]
The other day, my boyfriend was being really nice to me after I had a bad mental day and I said thank you. And he responded with saying that I deserved to be treated that way. Ive never had anyone say that before and it made me happy because I’ve never really thought that I deserved to have people be nice to me. I just thought I’d post a happy thought on here because all I post is the bad stuff and looking back on a lot of my old posts, I want something happy in there.
Everyone reading this post too deserves to be […]
What’s on your mind, bud? Talk to me.
I know you came on this website to see what people have to say, to see if you can leave any comments. And I also know that you want to leave comments on people to help them with the shit they’re going through.
SCREW THAT. THAT’S NOT WHY YOU’RE HERE. YOU’RE HERE BECAUSE YOU NEED HELP, YOU NEED SOMEONE WHO’LL LISTEN.
I WILL LISTEN.
Leave a comment, let’s talk. I’ll listen. No judgement, no problem-solving (unless you want it). I’ll try my best to understand, I’ll try my best to here you until you’re through, and most importantly I WILL NOT LEAVE […]
It helps to remind myself that I have everything I need right now. In this exact moment. And that’s enough. Because all there is is this moment.
The catalyst that put me in a tailspin no longer holds sway over my psyche. I’ve managed to put the pieces back in their proper places and see through clearer lenses. Perspective borne of acceptance or resignation.
Although I couldn’t see it, I was able to feel my insanity then.
Burden. Inconvenience. Deadweight. Those are the words I’d describe myself as lately. I’ve taken a month break from any contacts to my friends. And guess what.? No one fucking missed me…
I’ve received a ‘hey’ from two people and that was it, they didn’t try again. They simply didn’t notice. They simply didn’t care. It was hard for me, I’m a very affectionate person. I didn’t want to let myself get dragged down by that though. So what, if I’m the person that keeps the contact going right.? Wrong. Super duper wrong.
Just everyone that comes along bails on me, I don’t understand why… I […]
I failed.. I’ve accepted my death but it didn’t work. At this point I just want to have access to N. I want a peaceful end, let me have one please?
Warning: mentions of self harm and other sensitive content. I’ll try to be vague on certain words. sorry if it triggers you, this is to make you feel like you’re not alone.
My mother was forced down and forced into intercourse with my father, who she was with for 16 years at the time when she got pregnant with me. SHE HATED ME FOR IT! she attempted to get an abortion, then failed. My father even attempted to throw my mother out a window, and luck was on my side as they failed to do so.
Growing was equally as miserable for me. my father was abusive […]
What do you do when you’ve made connecting with others impossible? When you entire existence is a dirty secret. When every positive encounter you have is contaminated by the knowledge of what would happen if they knew the truth. And you can’t ever risk anyone knowing the truth.
I may be a monster, but I’m still human. I still have the same drive to escape isolation, to seek out company and fellow feeling. To feel accepted, related to, understood.
So there’s this constant nagging demand within me to reach out, to somehow breakthrough the wall that separates me from others. But there’s no way of satisfying that […]
But if I am wrong
In judgment I stand
I will not repent
‘Cos I don’t give a damn
You can send me to hell
With the rest of my friends
Life can be so cruel for some people. I’ve just lost my gf of 3-years relationship, due to stage 4 breast cancer. I’ve accompanied her until she passed-away in just only 1 month last August, since she was diagnosed with the stage 4 cancer. The worst reality for me personally is that her death just coincided two days right after my birthday (26th August).
I’ve actually been diagnosed with severe depression; and not only that, but also most likely I’ve had severe anxiety, anhedonia, depersonalization, existential crisis/depression, etc etc, and even suicidal too. Added to all of these with a sense of failure & regrets at […]
Postal service are you still here? I’m going soon.. i’ll probably do ctb this night or tomorrow morning. Goodbye, my friend.