Category:

Family & Friends Effects

The effects of suicide on family and friends.

WARNING: not coherent

by Lostsoul_20 2/26/2018

written by Lostsoul_20

I wonder how my shitty friends and rapist are doing being able to go to school and finish their degrees and accomplish their dreams right now? They don’t care the depression they put me through one bit. I bet they’re happy poor little depressed girl is not there to put a damp to their party. I bet others that don’t know of all the struggles my life has put me through laugh at how much of a failure I am. I bet all their futures look so bright while I sit here dim and dull wishing an everlasting night. Oh if I had known that […]

2/26/2018 3 comments

Back again

by ataria-coronaria 2/26/2018

written by ataria-coronaria

Having a another really bad night. Everything feels like it’s wrong in my world again. I’m so afraid of myself and can’t fully accept my reality. I honestly just want to feel genuinely loved. I think I have friends who love me but I don’t really feel anything from people regardless of that. My own self loathing is getting in the way of everything. I feel like my constant down personality is driving everyone away as well. Subconsciously I kind of want them gone at the same time as needing them. I fear that if people get too close they’ll discover the truth and desert me […]

2/26/2018 1 comment

Back to ground zero

by Urm8451n 2/22/2018

written by Urm8451n

I went back to my home town. The horror-ed house and the damned “friends”.

I feel like I have to run away. This semester break is short, so I don’t have to worry about being here for long. But….. to be fair? Those aren’t my friends. Those are kids who ditched their friend in great need. I have had flash backs since I got back to here.

I feel like I have to run, run far.

People talk about suicidal experience – which is good, but they forgot to tell you all about the “before” time. The time they stood on the edge. How it feels? it feels […]

2/22/2018 0 comment

Suicidal family member

by Urm8451n 2/20/2018

written by Urm8451n

This post is what SP means with family effect and suicide related. This isn’t a happy ending nor a crisis, but beware of triggers.

When I was a young boy, I remember my mother going up the stairs, half dead, she was barely walking, her new bf helped her. She was getting treated with chemotherapy and other cancer related drugs. She was dying, it was an intensive fight. She was alone, and my father divorced her. Her family was so abusive and ugly that they didn’t even help. I was about five and didn’t understand why my mom is falling to the ground. I saw her […]

2/20/2018 6 comments

new here, feeling lost, venting

by ataria-coronaria 2/20/2018

written by ataria-coronaria

Hi, “artaria” 21, gnc intersex/transgender and hating life

I’m almost 22 but I feel as if I am generations older from all of the messed up stuff that has happened in my life. Every year seems to have un-ending sadness and awful events. So many horrible things I couldn’t begin to list it all.

It is embarking on the anniversary of the last really big traumated thing to happen in my life last year. Months of intense emotional and physical abuse culminated to me finding myself in an even worse situation that I don’t really want to get into right now…

I still blame myself in a lot […]

2/20/2018 7 comments

Became a psychopath

by Urm8451n 2/18/2018

written by Urm8451n

I was pushed to my limits again.
This time is a combination. I had a dream in which I stabbed 4 guys over a fight, which I manipulated them to start.

When I was a young boy, my brother abused me physically. He blackmailed me to do him a lot of favors and to serve him. I wanted to kill him for few years back then. I really craved the idea.

Later when I became 16/14 my mom used to berserker on me with vocal violence. She said I was a waste of money and energy. She said she […]

2/18/2018 2 comments

Lost

by shelby 2/16/2018

written by shelby

this is my first time posting on here, or rather anywhere about my messed up self. I just realized today that I’m a compulsive liar. And I’m like a kleptomaniac or something.

i go to a boarding school, so tons of girls all living together. It’s fun, I have plenty of friends. But, since I’m as messed up as I am, I steal from them. And being the idiot I am, when they ask me, I say ‘what the hell thats messed up we definitely have a thief in the dorm’ because obviously, I have a problem.

Right there is one example of both of my problems. […]

2/16/2018 2 comments

thanks a lot rachel

by Tonislav 2/15/2018

written by Tonislav

i just asked my dad for help on my homework and he really f**king told me not to cut my veins because of it. thank you dad i really appreciate you helping me in life in general since you’ve been always by my side (not).

He worked on another country for about 6 years maybe more and yeah i know he is trying to earn money so i can be in a good school and get better education and shit but like seriously i left my country where all of my friends are, im having a shitty time here aaaand he still can’t fking help me […]

2/15/2018 5 comments

Failllllll mums birthday

by beautifulmonster 2/15/2018

written by beautifulmonster

I feel even worthless today. It’s my mums birthday. I couldn’t even gas myself properly. What a fail. Now I have to wait till tommorow.

I’m really annoyed. I’m lying in my bed head hurts. I don’t want to be here another minute. I really don’t.

I cannot believe my own sister did not come to the hospital. So called ‘friends’ pfffttttt. Every dog for themselves. But my own family. Gronks yesterday on shit so they say I’m on G?! I fuvking don’t even like it. Hospital staff so rude. I’m begging them my chest was hurting and she kept telling me I took G. If I […]

2/15/2018 1 comment

My Path… Your Path… My Dream… Your Dream… ?

by Itscolourlife 2/10/2018

written by Itscolourlife

Hello Im back again !
So.. this is what I feel right now..
I want to be loved by my parents.. I want them to hear my stories.. chatting and laughing with me..
Im stuck here..
The doctor said that I suffered from depresssion and stress right now..
I thought that they will understand and love me after what they heard..
But its still the same..
What makes me sad is..
I try to live like what my parents want since a kid..
I will try to live up to their expectation..
I even stop pursuing my hobby as what my parents told me.. Actually […]

2/10/2018 1 comment

Im not racist but life could have been easier for me if I was white

by Letmyheartsing 2/8/2018

written by Letmyheartsing

This is a deep song about racism but there’s both perspectives. Both sides makes a lot of sense. I’m not racist, but neither am I pro-black. I am black but my dads biracial which means I had a white grandma, but sadly she passes away back in 2009 I believe(my mom didn’t take me to her funeral because she didn’t like my dad). My white relatives live way out in the suburbs of Ohio, and when I tell you they are racist believe me! My mom told me stories that my dad told her.

My white grandma was attracted to black men but her parents didn’t […]

2/8/2018 3 comments

I don’t care…

by AlwaysSoTired123 2/5/2018

written by AlwaysSoTired123

“If I drive fast enough…the impact will make it quick.” “If I could just drink a little more, I’ll fall right to sleep…” ” If I could just cut a little deeper…” These thoughts used to scare the hell me…but now, they just hang around in my head, like a lingering headache, that you just can’t seem to get rid off. Death now, doesn’t scare me. I don’t care if there’s ‘another life’ after this one or if I just end up as plant food. I just don’t care anymore. I haven’t cared for a very very long time.

…I don’t care if deep inside, I rot […]

2/5/2018 2 comments

The hotline

by zkolijn 2/3/2018

written by zkolijn

A few days ago my fiancé told me that he almost committed suicide. This had torn me down and I thought it was my fault. I wasn’t able to help him because he kept this from me. He kept this from me because he was scared of hurting me.

Since he told me, I have had visions of being at his funeral. I have been an emotional mess. I know it wasn’t my fault but I felt like I failed him. I am so grateful that he was sound enough to call the suicide hotline number before he did.

He told me that I am his reason for […]

2/3/2018 7 comments

I can’t do this anymore

by Ziadus 1/27/2018

written by Ziadus

As a kid I was always left out and lonely. It made me create a lot of imaginary friends and a strong creative but antisocial mind. However, it also made me want attention and when I didn’t get that, it made me cry. I had so many bad things happen to me I closed myself off from the world and now I don’t know who I am. All I knew was that I was an attention seeker, money waster (I caused the family to pay a lot of stuff) and horrible person because I did bad things just for attention. I hate myself so much […]

1/27/2018 2 comments

I wish I live in movies, books, novels, comics, anime, video games. Real world / Real life / Reality is boring & depressing.

by niki 1/26/2018

written by niki

Honestly, I just can’t understand nor fathom why Most / Majority of people can go watch movies, read cool, creative, imaginative books / novels / anime / comics, or play super imaginative & fantasy video games, and then later on they just go back to reality, as if nothing happens, and they’re ok with everything.

I hate to say this, but Most people simply just lack Imaginations. Even worse, Most people are boring. All people care in the everyday’s reality & their lives is just the most superficial, mundane, boring, & stupid things. Which is very depressing, especially when you feel like you’re just alone & […]

1/26/2018 4 comments

good god..

by deaddollie 1/25/2018

written by deaddollie

i’m developing weird feelings for my friend. I really like him, but I can’t tell if he feels the same..

i’ll leave it for now. nothing good comes of feelings like these, or confessing them.

I just wish I didn’t catch romantic feelings for every person who is nice to me. it’s kinda pathetic.

I just.. guess I’m so starved for love, I latch onto anyone who shows any affection towards me (platonic or otherwise)

I’m tired. I’m so tired. maybe something good will be brought on by tomorrow.

1/25/2018 5 comments

ugh

by deaddollie 1/24/2018

written by deaddollie

things are really rocky right now, my life is falling apart, my birthday is next week, I have exams…

i’m not sure how to push through and keep going. i’m not really suicidal like I was, but I am really lost and confused and hurt. I’m hoping that I can make friends here, and we can support each other through these trying times..

life is shit, but it’s not always shit. you gotta hang on for those good moments.

– Dollie

1/24/2018 5 comments

On The Verge Of Giving Up

by someonewhoneedsajaket 1/24/2018

written by someonewhoneedsajaket

Hello. This will be my first entry, and honestly… I am scared. I badly needed help from a professional, but my mom just nags at me, saying that she doesn’t want a daughter who is going to have records with some psychiatrist. My father, who was with me when we went to the hospital, knew and heard what my doctor said. That I needed psychiatric consultation. But he just shrugged it off as if what I’m going through is just easy as putting first aid on a wounded knee.

I’ve been suffering for years now because of my father. Words, words just can’t describe how horrible […]

1/24/2018 17 comments

Still here.

by miralee18765 1/24/2018

written by miralee18765

About two years ago I wrote a post talking about how I wish I could just disappear. Two years have passed since then, and I still feel that way, and I think I’ll stay that way until the day I die. I’ve tried to engage with friends more, but just when they’re about to know something about me I withdraw and go back to the ” I’m fine” phrase that blocks all attempts at cracking me open and have me show more emotions.

I was told by someone recently that he couldn’t understand me. He said, ” You’re always smiling, and that’s why our friends think […]

1/24/2018 1 comment

Long Time, No See

by theendoftime 1/18/2018

written by theendoftime

I made my first post here 6 months ago. I cannot remember how i felt then but I’m sure it’s a similar feeling of what I have now. I am overwhelmed with pressure into going into nursing school. In all honesty, I dont want to be a nurse. I do not have the social capability of doing so. My parents are forcing so much onto me and my mother says I have no right to choose what is best for me even though I am almost 20. I’ve been lying bout my grades just for them to leave me alone and it has come to […]

1/18/2018 2 comments

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